From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

Greying_Pilgrim

Sweetie, we are on the same thought vein, absolutely.

And yes, Home Ec would have to be traditional - modernised. But whether than modernisation could incorporate all the aspects that now need to be considered is a stumbling block. A chum's child was doing home ec for the first time in high school, and she had to get an apron. The block of lessons was only a term or whatever, so chum didn't want to get a michel1n starred/approved one - and had great difficulty getting a cheap and cheerful, neutral apron!

I've been listening to alot of food programmes on catch-up, and there is alot of good work going on - for example - in Wales with food/farming/cooking/education. But the people involved themselves sometimes say that it's difficult to get the 'fork to fork' connectedness that is needed - sometimes because different organisations are funding different bits. But even the good work that is going on, is piecemeal, in different counties or in different sectors - again, the complaint was that there needs to be universal roll-out (for a generation or so) to make a difference.

We very, very much are singing from the same hymn sheet, but I see good things - your Brownies example is an excellent point, but for those kids that don't have a unit near them, or don't want the rest of what Guiding stands for, they miss out. Volunteers do some TREMENDOUS work, and without volunteers, we'd be in more of a pickle.

Just back from the shops. DH needed a medical thingummy collecting, and the footwear pharmacy is only open office hours 🙄 Plus he didn't pay for it upfront, so muggins here had to shell out the pennies 🙄 But we swung by hB too. Remind me not to take LG - I only went in for 2 things……. However. The pen gwynne bars were well priced - plus there was the opportunity to discuss budgetting with LG, as a 7 pack were 99p, whilst a 14 pack were £1.99. LG was struggling to see why - if you needed 14 - you would buy 2 packs of the 7 bars……… They had thyme in, so I got a jar of that. I also got some yoghurt, and thought I was going to get out of the shop, until LG reminded me that we hadn't got any crisps to munch whilst watching the rugger on Saturday 🙄 I made straight for the tills after the crisps aisle! 😂 So I will need to update my siggie figgie.

Also, in hB we did have another learning moment, as LG is very good now and seeks out the YS'd sections. They did get bamboozled by assuming the hot dog rolls were reduced, simply because they were in the section (they weren't - no yellow sticker), and assumed that a 12 pack of rolls - wAr Burt0ns - were 79p, simply because the label underneath said 79p in big letters. I knew they wouldn't be, and pointed out that the rolls had migrated along the shelf, and that their label actually showed as £1.95. Also, in the fridge dept, there were some YS'd items left, but a duo of avocados was 66p, and one was already smashed/rotten in the packet, a broccoli head was yellow, and something else was icky, or mushed or something, so YS'd doesn't always equal edible or useable, especially if the price hasn't been lowered to tuppence or something. I don't know if any of this ed-u-kay-shun in the field is sticking, but I try my best.

Curry plate for tea.

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Suffolksue - don't feel that this thread is bashing foodwasters - I thought I had made it quite clear that 'average' doesn't really exist, and we all have our own furrows to plough. There are - as you and Jellytotts pointed out - perfectly 'valid' reasons for wasted food, and not everyone 'unthinkingly' throws stuff away - sometimes you just have to.

And as tmv pointed out, it isn't just about the waste at domestic level - the waste at retail, manufacturing, processing and on-farm level is HUGE too. I hope what we're discussing here is AVOIDABLE waste. I hope you don't think that we were having a pop at anyone in particular, and certainly not your son & his family. I think the majority of folk try their best, most of the time - and when they can do different, they may choose to do different, or they may not. The WRAP figures are clearly extrapolated from a research project. I wasn't involved in that project, and I don't think that the figures pertain to me, or my household. If they did, well - if I could - maybe I would be motivated to try to improve something - whether from an environmental viewpoint, or from a financial viewpoint, or for teaching my kiddo not to make the mistakes their ma did.

Don't apologise - you have every right to voice your opinion. And if I have - in any way appeared a smug SAHM, then I apologise, as that has never been my intention, and how we've arrived at where we are as a family is built on previous hardwork, saving and frugality.

Greying X

badmemory

I think the real problem is that those who are interested will try & do what they can. Yes I was a single working mother & remember getting home & thinking I forgot to sort tea this morning.

But what do you do about those who just do not care & the increasing number who never learned to cook at all so land up totally dependent on pre-prepared meals. Just look round a supermarket - my local Tesco has had a recent overhaul & the fresh food aisles are reduced to less than two thirds of what they were.

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening MFW'rs

Tea munched. We had some of the cauliflower and chickpea curry that I made the other day, lentil dhal and basmati. Thank heavens for microwaves. Did I mention that ours went on the blink yesterday? The light wouldn't come on, pressing buttons didn't do anything. I switched if off and on again, and it still didn't work. I switched it off again, scowled at it for a few minutes and tried again. Luckily the light came on, and it started working again. No idea, but very glad it worked again today. Anyway, it was clean plates all round - and LG didn't even complain at the curry having cauliflower in it……..

Pud was the last of the blueberry steamed pudding with yoghurt.

Did I mention that I managed to get a walk in? The weather this afternoon was lovely for a couple of hours - a nice breeze, sunshine and it kept dry. No excuse not to move.

Ta for popping by. Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Shopping done.

A total of £44.57 spent in MrL and MrS. No green boxes in either store today. But I did get some 50% YS'd wholemeal bread rolls (which were on my list anyway - YAY!), and some 50% YS'd button mushrooms. Quite a stock up of fruit and veg today, in addition to some herbs and spices, plus a bottle of vanilla extract 😬

Off to amend siggie figgie.

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening MFW'rs

Tea munched. LG had a sandwich and an easy peeler (they'd had a big packed lunch that wasn't sandwich/bread based today) before they went off to club, and DH and I had a jacket potato and a portion of the veggie bobotie that I made the other week. We had the 2 large portions, and there are 2 smaller portions left - but I will serve them with added veg/rice something like that. Tonight's tea was just right for us, and I'm still enamoured with SC baked potatoes.

LG had the second nectarine for their lunch today - it de-stoned marginally easier. The nectarine itself was lovely. There are now 2 nectarines, 2 large salad tomatoes, 6 cherry tomatoes and a very, very ripe lime left from last week's box. It's really helped with the budget, and for that, I'm grateful. I haven't processed today's mushrooms, but i have removed them from the cellophane, so they should be OK until tomorrow.

Tomorrow night's tea is going to be a little bit special, as LG is interested in us somehow marking Valentine's - so I'm thinking a creamy mushroom & quorn bake, with rice and shredded brussels and an ice cream to follow. I haven't room in the freezer for a block of icecream, but icecreams will work just as well, and the wine is one we bought in October HT, so no added expense. It's something we can all enjoy together, and still get to watch the rugger on Saturday.

Ta for popping in. Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Afternoon MFW'rs

So I put on a wash this morning - pretty sure I'd have to use the dehu, and I haven't been disappointed ☹️ But all LG's clothes up to today have been washed, so that's a plus. I have just emptied the container after 2 hrs (amazing how much water is gathered), and set it for another 2hrs. By that point the clothes should be pretty much dry.

I chose to go to MrL and MrS again today. As it happened, there were some boxes in MrL, and I could quite happily have left all of them today. But one caught my eye, and because it had avocadoes (2) in it - and they were the packaged 'ready to eat', I took a punt. I will be able to use everything that I got in today's box - even if the bruised and bumped apples and pears have to make their way into a crumble. I have already had one of the avocados, and I was lucky - it felt very mushy, but inside it was perfectly ripe, and there wasn't so much as a blemish. In addition, I got a 50% YS'd pack of the Italian sub-rolls, which have gone into the freezer ready for a special picnic, or posh 'boofay' or something.

MrS didn't yield many bargains in terms of my n*ctar prices - they don't even bother putting on things I buy regularly anymore, and keep pushing branded stuff. I'm actually saving more by buying things that I do need and which are n*ctar priced on the SEL.

In total I spent £31.77 - I will amend my siggie figgie.

I have booked us a short break, based in the UK. It is self-catering, is in school holiday time (Easter), and LG was given the choice of whether to go away, or to stick around at home for a single event, and they chose the SC holiday, and added that "I want to be with you and dad, I want us to spend time all together". We have saved £90 going in April, rather than May HT, and summer hols is just beyond our budget.

Although my OP on this thread explained, without going into 'inside leg measurement' detail, our situation, I think that some readers may have run away with the idea that we are a "young" family, and that this is our first rodeo in house ownership, and navigating life.

Both I and DH are probably older than you think. And whilst I didn't get onto the property ladder until my late 20's, it was still possible, at that time, to purchase a 2 bed house, in many parts of the UK - that weren't anywhere within the M25 - on a single wage. My house was old, damp and decrepit, with on-street parking, in the 'not so favourable side of town'. I got a mortgage by the skin of my teeth (3 times salary), and did all the MSE things of letting out a room, living with mismatching furniture, which was always 2nd, 3rd, 4th hand and lived with the shonky kitchen cabinets for something like 10 years before I'd managed to save the money to get new - bought from a wholesale outlet, and fitted by a friendly carpenter who worked for cash…..

Today, sitting in my home, which, when it was built in the 1980's was billed as a 2 bed, starter home, not much has changed. We're sitting on furniture that is old enough to have left school, we're watching a TV that has reached and passed it's 18th birthday, and we're back to square one with shonky kitchen cabinets that were probably installed when the house was built. And yet.

I STILL recognise how incredibly blessed we are.

We've hit the jackpot too, as we have, our much longed for child. Our child who, as I have often mentioned, came to us later in life. We are a family.

I read on MSE about the horrendous cost of childcare some MSE/MFW'rs are currently facing - particularly pre-school childcare costs. If I needed to get wrap around care for LG, I'd need to earn £75 a week to pay for that, before commuting or any other costs were factored in. And yes, I realise £300 a month is pretty low, compared to some of the nursery costs that are mentioned. There is also the costs of school holiday care. Something that up until recently hasn't even been available in our area, never mind how do you afford it. Like many other families we haven't grandparents to call on to care for LG. Many people of grandparent age are still working themselves, live in a different part of the country, or simply choose not to help out - so parents have no choice but to 'buy' childcare provision. My parents are dead. And they suffered major, age-related illnesses prior to death, and weren't in a position to care for themselves, let alone a child.

So yes, DH and I consciously decided that we would live on one salary, and cut our cloth accordingly. Are we blessed as a family - yes, we are. Do we have the 'luxury' of having one parent stay at home? I don't know how to answer that. Both DH and I had a life prior to LG coming into being. A life that involved hard work, property ownership, some "luck" (house prices hadn't exploded beyond reach when we got onto the property ladder), frugality, making do and mending, no holidays/camping holidays out of season in the UK. All that has brought us to where we are today. Still doing all those things.

I know how blessed I am, and Family Greying are. But we haven't got here by the bank of mum & dad, a lottery win or luck. We've worked hard - like many people do - focussed, saved, prioritised and always tried our best. We owe no one any money. It's never been "easy" for me/us. Life is not "easy" now.

The future is probably going to get a whole lot harder.

To that end, I have been considering a possible change of focus - both in life, and diary form. We are very blessed and have a roof over our heads. But with changes to state pension ages now a reality, and the narrative for many workers, in a broad range of professions being, just how do you keep going until retirement? I've been thinking for a while now that we would be foolhardy to not at least consider if there was any possibility of finding a way to 'pay the bills' if DH was to retire before state pension age. If we didn't have our child, I should imagine that we could keep living costs quite low. But we've been given a shot at parenthood, and neither of us want to mess it up, and deny LG life experiences - plus, we both actually like our kiddo, and want to spend time with them, whilst they are still happy to spend time with us - and we know that will soon come to an end - everyone morphs into Kevin or Perry at some stage……. We don't expect to be supported, we claim no benefits (other than CHB), no inheritances are coming to us, we don't play the lottery…….. But what is our 'bridge' figure? and what will life look like on one, and then two state pension incomes? I'm shifting my focus to think about these numbers and 'how'. I don't know if that means I must bow out of MFW, or off the boards completely. But I wanted to air the subject on MY thread, where I talk about things that pertain to me or my family. I don't think I have ever made, on this thread, nor on anyone else's threads derogatory remarks about individuals/certain groups; their lifestyle choices, or how/why they've arrived at where they are today. I don't think I would ever choose to start a sentence with "it's alright for you….", and I don't appreciate the sentiment being bandied about here either. We are all individuals, trying our best, ploughing the furrow we're in, or trying our hardest to change tack - often with the help and support of fellow MSE'rs. No one size fits all. I am not you. You are not me.

Greying X

redofromstart

Interesting post GP.

I, like you, very much stick to 'you do you' and for me it is about identifying what matters to you and what is enough for you and your family.

I hope you do carry on posting.

badmemory

Why out of MFW. Surely that must be part of any retirement plan. The thought of trying to pay a mortgage (or even worse rent) when living on a pension is not pleasant.

Blackcats

I found your post very moving and you very eloquently describes your journey to the life you now live. I enjoy hearing about your day to day endeavours and vicariously enjoy seeing LG growing up.

I took early retirement after working for what felt like forever 🙃 and my DH retired early without access to his pension because his job was making him unwell and unhappy. We thought long and hard about this but chose to do what was right for us. We have had lots of comments in real life implying DH was skiving and when I retired that we were lucky and somehow undeserving of being able to be free of workplace shackles. I try to adopt the "what other people think of me is none of my business" mantra but I'm not very good at that. I also try to think that those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind, I post on DFW although I now have no debts or mortgage and we do have savings but I like to keep on track with a thoughtful approach to spending and saving,

I hope you keep posting - your lifestyle is inspiring, your parenting is fabulous and your writing is witty and interesting.