From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

themadvix

GP, please don't go anywhere - as the others have said, you would be very much missed. I'm not sure who or what has upset you, but you have a band of followers here who are always very keen to hear about your cooking adventures, washing-line endeavours and the ups and downs of raising LG, who sounds like a wonderful person.

Regarding not being a MFW, well, I follow quite a few diaries where the MFW has led to MF and the focus has turned to retirement/pensions or just living within one's means. So that's no excuse for leaving! I am looking forward to hearing your musings and approach to finding and achieving that bridge figure.

(And @Suffolksue, as GP says, I certainly wasn't having a go at anyone who tries - I hope you didn't think I was getting at you or others in similar situations. I appreciate that it can be very difficult to manage food waste amongst all the other things in a dual-income and kids household. That being said, if that's the average waste, then I do take issue with people who are wasting even more than that - food is precious commodity that we need to treasure and at those levels there's definitely a lack of thought going in to it - likely from those with much higher incomes who 'can afford' to waste it. But the structural issues with food waste are far worse than the consumer level - it's another instance where the powerful interests are pushing the blame onto the individual when they are actually at fault.)

Jellytotts

Please do carry on posting, a lot of us get great pleasure from your writing style and daily family tales.

I think we are probably around the same age and the SP figures keep creeping into my thoughts. We are lucky enough to be MF (but this has meant a lot of “Reno” upheaval to be able to have bought and sold a couple of properties in the process) but DH’s health isn’t good and we go forwards into a new phase of uncertainty with a big meeting with the neurosurgical team tomorrow.

I don’t know what the next few years will bring but I do know I can keep batch cooking, keep the weekly costs down by shopping around, mend and repurpose what we currently have in terms of furniture/furnishings and clothing and can enjoy some fresh veg from a few seeds plonked in some raised beds.

When I found this forum we had debt and a lifestyle we were struggling to maintain but by reading all the amazing advice from people like yourself we’ve been able to get a handle on life and turn it into something amazing.

Never underestimate your role in providing a grounding voice in an ever loudening sea of social media turmoil.

greenbee

Don't go anywhere else GP. I need to know how long to cook carlin peas in the pressure cooker for and whether I should soak them first… :)

In all seriousness, we all have different life experience, and can all benefit from sharing it. Even if it isn't directly applicable to our own situation, hopefully it can help us be more understanding of other people we meet in real life.

Staffordia

I would add my voice to the clamour for you not to leave.

My life is completely different to yours, I never wanted children, and I can't cook for toffee, but I so enjoy reading about your life.

All of us here, are wanting a mindful life and that takes many different forms. As you say you do you.

badmemory

I think the best thing any of us can do is to give ourselves choices. My choice was opposite to yours & both of us made the right choice. I think being on here helps to put us in the financial position to make those choices.

Greying_Pilgrim

Thank you.

Blackcats and Jellytotts (sounds like a sweet shop! 😂), those are exactly the reasons that are pushing me to look at the 'how's, why's, what ifs and whether we coulds'. DH is struggling with adaptations/changes, the physical nature of the work, and yes, it for sure is making him unhappy and increasingly unwell. Jellytotts - I had no idea you and DH were facing such a health scenario, but hope you get answers and support from your appointment tomorrow.

badmemory - in our case we're - if we do anything more to the house - mortgaging in reverse. We picked a bad time to try to re-enter the property market (and on the back of rising prices following the pandemic), and so couldn't get a mortgage, so bought the property that we could afford at the time. We've changed the heating system and the windows, but - as with any house - there is more that could be done. Whether we bother to 'mortgage in reverse' (aka saving like mad 😂), or whether we look to see whether we could live here "in retirement" first, and/or look at what 'downsizing' 🤔 might cost. I agree with your point about paying a mortgage from a pension - but acknowledge many people have no choice now, and will have no choice in the future. Mort-gages truly have come full circle, haven't they. I don't want us to 'not do things', because it's important that LG doesn't miss out, but I also don't want DH working until he can officially retire, and then dropping down dead the next day. LG would still be quite young. And I know that even if we took a straw poll on MFW, the different situations that MFW'rs have faced - even in the last 2 years say, mean that none of us can bank on 'living forever' or 'I'll do that when I retire', or whatever, anything can strike any of us, at anytime and derail any plans we may, or may not, have made.

Again, heartfelt thanks to posters, you are all so kind, knowledgeable and supportive.

Greying X

Suffolksue

I am very sorry that I seem to have upset you all .so much

I am a lot older than you ( I will be 77 this year )

I found myself caring for a traumatised 7 and 5 yr old when I was already in my 60s so have had two stints at this child raisin lark ( not sure I was any better at it the second time around ) I

Your diary ws one of the first I ever read ,when you’d lost house keys and remember the joy I felt when you announced the arrival of BG .so I knew you were an older mother

I won’t comment on here again but please don’t go and I wish you all well

Sue

Greying_Pilgrim

Suffolksue said:

I am very sorry that I seem to have upset you all .so much

I am a lot older than you ( I will be 77 this year )

I found myself caring for a traumatised 7 and 5 yr old when I was already in my 60s so have had two stints at this child raisin lark ( not sure I was any better at it the second time around ) I

Your diary ws one of the first I ever read ,when you’d lost house keys and remember the joy I felt when you announced the arrival of BG .so I knew you were an older mother

I won’t comment on here again but please don’t go and I wish you all well

Sue

Thank You. I would rather hope that you will continue to post here. Your life experience (I think "the kids" say 'lived experience'), is invaluable, and is as valid as any other poster. I try very hard, to be 'inclusive', but sometimes it isn't possible to list every character trait that I'm including - or excluding from what I am nattering about. Each and every paragraph would be the size of war & peace, otherwise, and I'd never have time to cook tea…… But I am aware that folk up and down the land aren't having it easy, and sometimes summat has got to give, but rarely does it solve an issue to believe that anyone has it 'easier' because of [fill in blank].

I happen to agree with you - Time is so important - and I know that I've not got alot of it with LG, even if I don't get run over by a bus tomorrow. And yes, it is a blessing to have time with LG, and being a SAHM adds to that. But it was not without choices or compromises - and whilst we as a family chose to make those, I am well aware that others don't have such flexibility or freedom over their lives. We are in a slightly different position, to perhaps your average parents of primary/secondary school aged kids.

However, can I just point out, that it was DH who lost the house keys……. 😉😂 (fancy you remembering that 😁)

Greying X

KajiKita

I know others have said stay, but I just wanted to add my ‘why’ to it as well.
I have learned so much from you in terms of trying things with food, not being so perfectionist, swopping out ingredients for what I have to hand / to use up or because I like it better 😊 Six months ago I’m not sure I would have attempted much or any of that.
I love reading about how you parent LG. I did not have a loving childhood and it is so lovely to see how it can be done ❤️
And, I have to say, your efforts to dry your clothes at this time of year WITHOUT A TD are truly heroic … I stand in awe at your persistence and diligence 😊❤️ (Genuinely x)

Re changing to a new diary, well why not! 😊 I did it recently as I realised I was trying to emulate the ‘big beasts’ of the OP world. I can’t hope to match them with either spare income or with doing extra money earners (I just haven’t got the energy). I’ve realised that what I really want and need to focus on is getting healthier and more engaged in every positive way with my garden and what brings me joy. It sounds strange perhaps, but renaming my diary, deliberately setting out a new focus, has taken the pressure off me to OP OP OP! and constantly be ‘failing’ (in my self perception). Meanwhile I am still OPing just what I was before … 😉
If you think a new diary would allow you to shift focus slightly, to make adapted plans for the future, then do so. I think you will easily pick us all up there … 😉 if you still want our company? 😊

KK

kayannie

Please don't disappear from our lives!

KA x