From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

Greying_Pilgrim

I've just updated my siggie figgie, for both food and non-food spends from yesterday, and the handwash from last week, for which a receipt still hasn't materialised 🙄 but I've costed them at 99p each, which I think is right.

Significantly cooler with us (I'm sorry sun-worshippers, it's much more bearable, for me, at these temps), and we've had some bits of rain.  Not enough to water the garden, but enough to hesitate when thinking about pegging out.  

LG and DH are off pootling about on bikes.  

I'm at risk of making this post MSE-lite, so I'll push orf.  Ta for popping in.

Greying X

rtandon27

@Greying_Pilgrim - I've very sad about the lack of sunshine today, but OH on the other hand is bouncing off the walls as he's no longer melting into a puddle of sticky Englishman as he as been for the past week 😉  I told him days ago in no uncertain terms that my side of the bed was my own!

Greying_Pilgrim

Good afternoon MFW'rs

I spent £4.19 on food shopping, buying bananas yesterday and milk, eggs and tinned fruit today.  I intially went to MrL today, but they hadn't got any of the milk we buy, so I put down the tinned fruit and walked out & went to MrS instead.  I picked up eggs there too, as they had some in stock with a reasonable date.  I also bought the TV mag out of non-food spends, 82p.

Will adjust siggie figgie just now.  No boxes in either store, and YS'd stuff very thin on the ground.  

Can't think of anything else MSE relevant, so I'll push off.  

Greying X

Bluegreen143

I’ve not caught up with the whole thread so not 100% sure of where you landed on the gaming situation. 

Sorry to hear LG has been having a tough time of it and feeling down on themselves.

My DS is roughly ages with LG and I’m pretty mean about technology. We don’t do gaming or internet based activities with two exceptions. We have an ancient i pad both kids are allowed to play chess on very infrequently (because you can’t always get your sibling or parent to agree to play chess with you, and I like to encourage it!). And they are allowed to use “how to draw” videos on you tube. It’s the only thing they are allowed to use you tube for and only under supervision. We have a hard no on mobile phones & my kids have walkie talkies for playing round our estate without me. 

So far I’ve not had too much pushback and while my daughter (6) has asked for a switch or I pad of her own (and been refused) my DS is very sensible and not too bothered. Many of his friends game but he’s a pretty outdoorsy child. 

The community in your school makes a huge difference. My kids do go to a very middle class and slightly alternative school, and it means there are lots of kids with offline interests of all sorts (there’s a huge emphasis on music at their school). 

I appreciate it’s not easy to move school but definitely worth trying to cultivate a community of like minded families if you can. Maybe finding kids/families who like getting outdoors or doing other things you enjoy and getting together outside of school? I have a whatsapp group I’ve curated of people at school “get it” (not necessarily people in my kids’ classes, often I’ve met the parent and liked them!) and we use that to arrange stuff. We recently went camping as a group and did a hillwalk. A group of us also took our kids to run wild and paddle in the river on one of the May bank holidays - not an electronic device in sight and a completely free activity!

My point is just that these people are out there, I promise, there are still people out there who value a slower paced and more old fashioned lifestyle for their kids and it makes such a difference to not feeling alone. 

There are a few parents at our school campaigning for a smartphone free childhood and if there is anyone doing similar at your school perhaps they might have similar values? 

Unsure if your child does scouts or guides, mine do both and enjoy that for getting involved in a range of activities etc. 

Bluegreen143

Follow on thoughts re LG being hard on themselves/not feeling what they do is “cool”.

I know that for my DS he is desperate to feel like an adult. What works for us to give him confidence to give him more adult responsibilities - not necessarily chores, but a degree of autonomy and step back out of his way in terms of how he achieves it. I might well be teaching you to suck eggs here!

For example, he likes to make overnight oats himself for him, his little sister and me for breakfast so if he offers, I always say yes. Or if he’s home while I’m working he likes to make me lunch. It’s not always what I wanted for lunch but I always say yes. He often offers to carry bags for me so that’s a yes too. He likes to go to the corner shop to buy milk. The key seems to be that he isn’t being given a chore to do per se but is rather given the freedom to do it. 

When we went camping I sent him to the shop to buy an extra mallet and pegs - he came back happy he’d managed to borrow one from the owner. Later he returned the stuff without me reminding him.

The owner commented to our friend “how grown up the boy in your party is”. I could see how proud he was of this specific praise. He doesn’t want to be told he’s “good” or “well behaved” or whatever by adults, that’s embarrassing, but being recognised for taking responsibility and initiative really seems to fill his bucket and give him a confidence in himself. 

Another thought, he has baked cookies for playdates a couple of times now (completely by himself) and his friends seem to think it’s cool/are appreciative, just in case baking works for you as a skill that LG’s peers might recognise as I know it’s tough if all they think is cool is getting to a certain level in your game! My aim this summer is for DS to master 5-6 baking recipes independently.

Hope some of the above helps at all, do take and leave what works for you. I think it is a tough age, no longer a little kid, not yet a teenager.

Greying_Pilgrim

Thanks Bluegreen for your thoughtful and informative posts.  

Much to ponder.  We're going through a bad phase again, so I'm flailing a bit.

Greying X

kayannie

Sorry to hear you're going through another bad patch at the moment.

It must be so much harder for the children growing up & developing in this day & age, both for them & for their parents. So much more pressure for them than when I was growing up in the '50's & my children in the 70's/80's. Our children went to the same local school as myself & my DH had gone to - no choice in those days but no complaints either. 

A few posts ago, you mentioned a reconstruction of an iron age village that you had visited. Was that by any chance the one in the Preseli hills?

You're doing a grand job. I'm sure that with the upbringing you're both giving him, LG will grow up to be a very intelligent, kind & sensible adult.

KAxx

rtandon27

well my dear - you know I can't relate at all, but sending a great big hug for you and a little cuddle for LG

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MSE'rs

Dearest kayannie, I had to look up the where in Wales the Preseli hills were - I had no idea they were in Pembroke.  No, I haven't been there (something else to add to the list!), but I think I was meaning in 'theory' - visiting something that connected to the national curriculum.  I can only think of a recreated round house at an EH property that we visited, and then the recreations at Stonehenge, rather than a wholly recreated settlement.  I can only assume that school trips have been curtailed due to cost - although the upcoming trip has been devised by a member of staff who - frankly - will purchase anything "off the shelf" rather than actually teaching stuff.  Fingers crossed LG can get through their time at this school without having this class teacher again.  We're lucky to be surrounded by history here, but apparently screen/book learning trumps looking at a stone, or a wooden cross beam that still bears the marks of the mason or carpenter that shaped it 🙄Where we used to live (ok, so the history was more Victorian era), you could see the fingerprints of the brick makers in the bricks where they'd picked them up, the hobnails from their boots as to where they'd walked over the stack in the kiln, our neighbour's house had 1,2,3,4 etched in one brick by hand.  Was it the work of a bored child, someone learning their 3R's or a 'tally' brick?  

Thanks RT all hugs and squishes gratefully accepted. 

We're still on tears before bedtime, and sleep evading the troubled mind.  More children appear to be leaving the school.  The latest one I've heard about is a surprise, but they will probably be able to do it because they live in the relevant catchment area and the school is a new build, expanding incrementally.  Speaking entirely personally, I'm sure if the new school had opened R-Yr6 in one fell swoop they would have filled the school.  I'm surprised in this day and age - and with closure of low NoR rural schools - that incremental openings are allowed to happen.  This will also means an older sibling, who is too old for any of the available classes will remain in LG's school ☹️.

I have been shopping this morning.  I went to MrAl and MrL (no boxes).  I have gone over my budget for June.  I started out by trying to divvy up what was bought for now, and what will last into next month - for example, I bought cereal bars from MrAl for LG's snap box, and got enough to last to the end of term as I don't go to MrAl very often.  But in the end, I've lumped all costs together and it'll go against the June budget.  At the end of the day, £200 - off the back of a low spend May challenge was always going to be tricky, so I will just suck it up and say I busted the budget in June.  Total food spend (didn't actually buy anything non-food) was £21.64.  YS'd items were limited to wholemeal baps and S6 tomatoes (30% off).  

Ta for popping in.  Greying X

kayannie

I think this has been mentioned before, but have you considered home educating LG?  After all, you're doing much of it already, you already teach LG budgeting, history, natural history, cooking etc. I'm sure you'd be very good at it & you'd have a happier child who looked forward to going to 'school' each day.

KA xx