From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

Greying_Pilgrim

kayannie said:

I think this has been mentioned before, but have you considered home educating LG?  After all, you're doing much of it already, you already teach LG budgeting, history, natural history, cooking etc. I'm sure you'd be very good at it & you'd have a happier child who looked forward to going to 'school' each day.

KA xx

Dear goodness, NO.  Anyone that had to do home ed because of c'vid closures will know how frustrating it was 😁  I guess to a certain extent, "proper" home ed, where you get some sort of choice over direction of study ie child-led, or the time you spend on school work, versus life skills etc etc is more appealing, than trying to get your kiddo to do a maths paper or learn a poem to conform to the National Curriculum.  I actually think we did really well, in the c'vid break - that had the added issue of those that "were" allowed in school, and those that "weren't".  I have to say - and this is not mean as a brag, but is testimony to LG's sticking power, I think LG did well at 'home school', and in some ways - with the possible exception of missing the socialising aspect (didn't we all?), they ended that school year where they would have been, or better placed..........LG certainly turned in the most work of all the class - including the ones in school.  It was quite an eye-opener.  

But the value (for me), in schooling, is the socialisation - although, much like society at large, it is very much a mixed bag, and my hopes that schools would show how to negotiate your way through 'society', doesn't appear to be materialising.  Not that I'm so sure schools ever managed that anyway.  As a one child family, with few relatives, and even fewer of an age within even a generation of LG, school is really the key mechanism for daily contact with peers.  There are other opportunities, but they are fewer and farther between. 

I like the "theory" of home ed., but in practice I think I would be too worried that I would be screwing up LG's future 😔

Greying X

kayannie

I agree about the socialisation & I did wonder if that would be the downside when I was suggesting home education. I was an only child, living in what I thought of as the middle of nowhere. If I hadn't gone to school, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet many people of my own age until I was older. 

It won't be long now until the summer holidays, LG must be looking forward to that & will be getting a few weeks away from the problems at school.
 KA xx

badmemory

Have you looked at home schooling out of the covid era?  I am sure I have read about local groups getting together for various activities etc.  You said LG did more at home than those in school, that will not change & is normal as school can only go at the speed of the slowest or most disruptive.  You may find that many other homeschoolers are of a very similar mind set to yourselves.

Blackcats

I'm  very sorry that LG is having an unsettled time at school.  I mentioned before that I always found the last few weeks of the summer term were fractious and stressy for pupils and parents and no doubt teachers too.  

The year 6 kids have endured their SATs, probably been on their residential trip, got their leavers hoodies and are having their leavers prom and are ready to leave primary school where they feel like they are top dogs!  I've no idea when leavers hoodies and proms became an essential!  

I know you and your DH will be using your wisdom, accessing resources and drawing on your own resilience to help navigate through this tricky time.

LotsOfTea

I'm hugely impressed by anyone who has the confidence and energy to homeschool their child/ren. After spending many years thinking I was pretty clever I was brought down to earth during lockdown homeschooling by the fact that it's been a lot of years since I was at school and I had forgotten much more than I thought I had!  

I don't know how near to the end of primary school LG is but I will say that starting secondary school is a big reset and a chance to make a whole load of new friends from a wider range of backgrounds. They also tend to cater for kids having a range of interests too. My DS's school has lunchtime and after-school clubs for everything it seems and most are free or low cost - sports, art, crafts, board games, science, book clubs, music, religions, LGBTQ, debating, etc etc. Even 'resistant materials' club (apparently this is what they call woodwork in schools these days, I kid you not!). LG will be able to find their tribe I'm sure. It's very difficult to convey 'hang on in there kid, this will get better' to a child though isn't it? I feel for you. 

VintageHistorian

I think homeschooling is one of those things that's actually very difficult to get right, especially as kids get older and need to take GCSEs etc. There's a reason why teachers in schools have a professional qualification, even if there are some who leave a lot to be desired in enthusiasm/competency.

I know you mentioned that LG isn't in the catchment area for your preferred school Greying, but is it worth at least phoning to ask if they can be put on a waiting list? You don't need to tell LG you've done it and get their hopes up, but it sounds like there's a lot of churn in schools generally at the moment, and while there may be minimal chance of LG getting a space it's still more of a chance than if they're not on the list at all.

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Thank you all for your comments.  I'm still giving alot of thought to Bluegreen's posts.  There are similarities with things that we do, and things that possibly we could do better/different.  For example, the doing things with 'other' (ie non-school) friends.  We probably don't do enough of that - the slight fly in the ointment being that these friends seem to have a very narrow interest gap - which differs for each friend.  For example, they would go to see the latest blockbuster kiddos movie at the cinema with LG, but wouldn't go for an overnight camp (with parents accompanying).  Others might be prepared to stay away for the night, but would probably be glued to a hand held device the entire time.  And yes, of course, we could pick out activities strategically, but it does get a bit stilted. Not impossible though, so I should try harder to work on that.  

I agree badmemory - I think home ed. (NOT c'vid schooling at home), is a very different model, and I certainly think that groups for home ed participants would be the way to go - especially from a socialisation point of view. I also think - done correctly, and done with the child leading, but with the adults kind of ensuring that any 'admin' elements are met, home ed. beats the state structure for a large number of kids. 

kayannie - LG is looking forward to the holidays (which, unfortunately is adding to the 'slog' of the last weeks of term), and I'm hopeful that we can come up with a range of stuff to do - we've started a list of 'possibles' 😁

Blackcats - although I suppose I would want "value for money" the wearing of 'leavers' hoodies has already begun, which I must admit, surprised me.  But I'm afraid I regard them as an utter waste of money - they ain't cheap 😬

Lotsoftea - I think senior school could be a good reset, or it could be more of the same.  Of the local high schools, two are absolutely massive (not by inner London standards, but by small town, nowhereshire standards), and all the schools have very individual 'personalities'.  It could be a good experience, it could be 5 years of drudge, I'm not sure.  Yes, I have a hard time convincing myself that 'things will get better', sometimes if they're in a funk, it's practically impossible to shift LG's thinking.

VintageHistorian - technically speaking we are still on the list for our preferred school, but a new housing estate has come online/filled since we applied originally, and we've now moved out of area, so we were clearly 'down' the list to start with, and are now probably residing somewhere around 999th.....  The school are very snotty and hide behind application through the LA.  Whereas the second choice of school did actually contact us last year to see if we still wanted to be on the list.  The trouble with that was we were something like 100yrds out of catchment when we applied.  The school were much more forthcoming with info, and we were something like 8th on the 'out of area' list, whilst there were already 7 on the 'in area' list - so technically 15th in line for a place.  When we were contacted, we had moved to this house, so were even further out of catchment, so I gave the place up, as it was an over subscribed school, and there was no chance we'd get a place.  One of LG's peers has recently left and has gone to that school, but they are living in catchment, so I suppose they had a much higher chance of placement - as it is, I think they'd been waiting for a long time to get the place, despite having a great deal of dissatisfaction, for several years, with LG's current school.

I'm pleased to report that yesterday registered as an 'ok' day.  There seem to have been no triumphs, but far more importantly, no tragedies either - I'll take that!  And there was a very sweet incident that occurred that did show LG that they are much better thought of by their peers than they are sometimes led to feel, so that was good.  And we're glad that LG mentioned it, as both DH and I were able to reinforce it as a 'fuzzy glow' moment.  

Greying X

Watty1

I have no children so cannot comment from experience - but - I have met two children that have been home schooled and I don't think it was anything like during the cov*d era.

One was actively involved with a local home schooling group and socialised with that (your reason for keeping LG in school)   They shared activities and did things alone and seemed to have met a "tribe" of parents very similar in outlook.

The other child was beyond impressive.   She was home schooled because she just spent a lot of time with her horses.  Eventually her parents found an "on line" school she could do some lessons with and did the rest themselves.   By the time I met this young lady she had better social skills then most adults, she asked politely if I would help her teach her show jumpers to hack because CC is so good and everyone locally had suggested she approach me, which she did without introduction and in a way that was awesome.

In return she helped me get my confidence back jumping - without outing anyone - I'll just say when I met her she was  competing in young teams around Europe.     She went on to get A levels, a very sought after apprenticeship which she could combine with starting her own business, and my goodness is she successful

Success aside what I loved about that young lady was the confidence her somewhat unusual schooling had given her, her communication skills and her strength of personal belief in such an unassuming manner.  I would love to be like her at my age - let alone at 18!.  She genuinely believed none of this would have been achieved without her parents taking her out of regular school where she just didn't fit.

Just my two-pennyworth because having met two young girls and been impressed I wanted to stress home schooling is nothing like my teacher pal was doing in lockdowns with her class

Moneywhizz

Maybe you should explore local home schooling groups to see what is available and if it would. work for you as a family. Is there also the possibility of a hybrid set up, eg., maybe formal school in the morning and home for lunch and different activities in the afternoon? As a former teacher it seems so sad to me that so many children are desperately unhappy in school. It is definitely much worse than it used to be and seems to be so widespread from what I understand from friends who are still teaching. My own grandson at 10 years old is one of these children and I can see how heartbreaking it is for parents to try and fix something that they really have no control over. Sorry you are going through this. 

Suffolksue

Delurking I’m a grandma now and the youngest DGS is 13 so I’m elderly!

Greying ,I get that you think leavers hoodies are a complete waste of money ( they are ,! Just wait until you get to the proms ! ) 
but please don’t make LG be the only one without one is it next year ? 

That would be an awful end to primary and an awful start to secondary - nasty kids remember .

i do feel for you all