From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

VintageHistorian · 13 June at 9:19PM

Since you mentioned you and DH aren't gamers yourselves Greying I thought I'd delurk as we're gamers in our family and although DS is only a toddler I'll be crossing the same bridge in a few years.

Personally I'd say that Nintendo is the more family-friendly console. The Switch 2 is now out so that means you should see the second hand prices of the original Switch start to come down as some people will be upgrading. The Switch can be used with the TV or as a hand held device. Nice games for younger kids include Pokemon and Animal Crossing, both of which can still be quite pricey second hand because they're very popular (CEX on the high street is pretty dependable source for second hand games). Minecraft is also fun and a popular one with younger kids (as well as adults like me and Mr VH). If you're unsure of a game then look it up on Youtube, there's loads of people putting up play throughs and reviews.

The Switch does need to be connected to the wifi (it needs to update etc), but you can pay for Nintendo Switch Online, which lets you connect with friends and play with them from home. Personally if you're worried about LG having problems with other kids then I wouldn't sign up for this (it's also just another expense), and just tell LG they can tell kids at school "Mum said no". LG will be able to play the games etc, they just can't invite others to join in from their homes as they play.

I also had a quick ask of a colleague whose eldest is 7 and they're a gaming family and their rules are:
- 30 minutes allowed on non-activity weekday nights (no gaming on activity nights because there's too much else to do once they're home). Homework must be completed first and there is a good behaviour clause too. Colleague sets a timer on her phone.
- Time cannot be carried over, it's a use it or lose it basis (so child can't save up several hours worth and binge it in one go).
- Same rule applies if child is off sick or has a friend round for a playdate, 30 minutes per day only.
- They can't currently earn extra game time but that will change as they gets older.
- At weekends it can be extended to an hour, but for that they try to make it more of a family activity.
- They have several consoles including a Switch, they all stay in the living room. They are family consoles, not owned by one member of the family. No handhelds at the dinner table, in the bathroom etc.

I suspect I'll be modelling my approach on hers as it all sounds sensible. She said there is occasional pushback such as "but classmate is allowed to play as much as he likes!" or "my friend said they're allowed to play [rated 18 game]" and her response is "people make different rules in their household, these are our rules". Her child still enjoys reading and playing sports, she's not sure if everything would be dropped in favour of gaming if she allowed it.

Sorry if this is now raising more questions, I know gaming is quite a big field and if you're not familiar with it then dipping your toes in can be rather intimidating so didn't want to let you go without offering an inflatable ring.

Watty1 · 14 June at 8:22AM

I've read along but not commented but I love the @VintageHistorian post as so sensible

Greying_Pilgrim · 14 June at 10:31AM

Good Morning MFW'rs

Sunshine_girl2 - good on you for volunteering! I am 99.9% sure that LG's school used to have adult volunteers involved in 'listening to readers' etc. But I think c'vid put paid to it, and it's never been resurrected. I know we've had a change of leadership, but I think it's probably a loss to the school family. There seems to have been a down-turn in reporting activities done 'out of school'. I'm not sure of the reason. I don't know if it is because the kiddos aren't doing much, or whether it highlights inequalities or whether - in these marketing driven times - the school can't 'merch' attainment gained elsewhere, so it's not necessarily discouraged, but perhaps less time is found for 'show & tell'. Personally I don't think the kiddos are necessarily doing less, I just think it's getting reported less. Which is a shame, because your 'Achievement Assemblies' enable kids to show attainment in what interests them - which isn't always book-learning is it?

VintageHistorian - dearest Watty is right, your post is awesome. Thank you so much for taking the time to post! I'll admit, first time I read it, i thought...... oh.my.goodness. we are super out of our depth here....... But I've re-read it, and thought about what you have said.

First and foremost - your friend's "rules" ROCK. Whilst part of me thinks that over time boundaries may be 'pushed' by the kiddos, I think having boundaries or rules in the first place is imperative - and it chimes in with what others have mentioned.  But thank you for listing out your friend's rules - that's helpful and gives me a starting point. I found your explanation of gaming 'systems' helpful. We weren't necessarily going down the 'box' or 'hand held' controller route - as that wasn't (if I've understood right) the way that the majority of LG's peers were accessing games. "eye-paddles" seems to be the preferred access point, and (again - I may have this wrong), it's the 'online' playing with others (wherever they are located), that is the model most seem to be following - whether it's a sports game or one or two of the franchise games that you named. But. DH's colleagues at work all game - and DH has previously been offered - for sale - several of the 'box' type devices. We had assumed that we'd 'missed the boat' on playing....... I don't know, 'maRi0 karrt' or anything like that with LG - in our own home, just players in the living room type set up. I'm not overly sure I realised that these 'boxes' could also go online - yes to facilitate updating/downloads, but also, presumably 'group play' or accessing other peoples created 'worlds' - which can be part of MCraft and ACrossing, can't it?

We were just going to set up something on a mobile phone - but I do prefer the 'situated' nature of a box set up (if I've understood correctly), in the 'public' areas of the home. Again, some peers of LG are using their handheld devices in bedrooms, and spaces away from their adults - which of course, is that family's choice, but it's not a route I want to go down, certainly not at this stage (which, to use your analogy VH, is very much arm bands, inflatable ring and still sitting on the side of the pool! 😂).

LG's peers are accessing a wide range of games (all the popular ones I'm sure), and it does seem to split between sports games, races and games that involve participation and 'building' (again, if I've understood their premise right) - such as; r0bl0x, 4Tnight, Mcraft and Amunghusk, are names that have been mentioned as the other kiddos playing. I know there was a hoo-har and school sent out missives about that last game I listed. Because the pegi rating is something like 12 and loads of kids were playing it (downside of having older siblings I think), and it was causing issues. Trouble is, I think LG would like to access these sort of games - because so many classmates are already on those platforms. In hindsight, maRi0 karrt (or it's equivalents), seem wonderfully "safe" in comparison - and a far cry from 'Pac-man' which is where gaming was at when I was a nipper.

I'm going to talk to DH about what 'hardware' his colleague was offering. I may, if that is ok, be back with a question, or 75............

Mixed bag weather wise with us. We've had downpours, sunshine, quick showers, a constant breeze...... we were going to take the car for a pootle, but where we were going involved 'parking and walking' and the forecast was for rain showers for much of the morning. I know you can wear a coat, but it wouldn't have been much fun. But I wish it was either rain non-stop, or not rain at all, because when the sun comes out, you think "could we have gone out?" or "should I put a wash on?".

DH and LG have gone out for a pootle - at least they thought to ring to ask if they should pick up some handwash as they're visiting hB (yes please). I will amend my siggie figgie when they get back as to what they've spent.

LG had a lovely time at the burfday party. The host family very kindly transported LG (and a couple of others) to and from the venue too, which was kind.  LG wanted to take some money (naturally the venue is stuffed with 'other ways to divest you of your money'). To be fair they took their own pocket money - but of course, other partygoers had much 'bigger' budgets ☹️ I'm not sure the penny has yet dropped (and heck, LG is still a kiddo), about how you never win against the 'house'. 2 failed goes on the 'Claw' to get a prize, and a slightly one dimensional 'twiddle toy' from the slot machine did dampen the spirits, but I'm not sure we've passed the "if I had more money, I could have tried again, and again, and again......." stage yet. House always wins. The parents were very kind to mention LG's behaviour, and how LG had helped the younger siblings of the family to join in the fun too, which they appreciated.

Thanks so much for popping by, and for taking the time to post all your kind and helpful comments. Know that it is appreciated - greatly.

Greying X

rtandon27 · 14 June at 11:36AM

@VintageHistorian - what a brilliant post! - as a past gamer (with a tendency to binge) - I've always wondered how parents impose limitations on their children!

My games of choice were always puzzle based or adventure/world building - I've never understood the lure of shoot-em-up! OH on the other had has a predilection for games that flash & explode - when I work from home & use the kitchen table, he has to turn himself so that it's not in my line of sight!

EssexHebridean · 16 June at 1:30PM

Another one here applauding @VintageHistorian - great post, from a completely different perspective!

Greying_Pilgrim · 17 June at 10:13AM

Good Morning MFW'rs

Currently narked with the energy company, who have waited until the summer months to...... raise my DD! I'm in credit - we only actually go over the DD amount and in debit (absolutely no remaining credit), for something like 2 months out of 12 - and I always pay the difference immediately. We've done that (here) for 2 winters now. And still the company claim we will "be in arrears" by March next year 🙄 I have reduced the DD back down to the original amount (energy companies don't make it easy to do that, do they?) which has been 'permitted' for 3 months 🙄

At the mo, 'gaming' progress is on sort of hold - simply because there have been other things to do, and it's not been mentioned. I never get to have DH 'alone' to have a discussion about what the colleague's 'boxStation' is/was. So it's not forgotten, but we're not currently doing anything about it.  Watty's (tongue in cheek) comment on Cheery's thread about noisy children did make me laugh 🤣 Just why aren't they glued to their screens? indeed..... 🤣👍

I need to go shopping today as we are low on milk and bread.

We might be saving money on Activities sooner than I anticipated. We went last night and we're now only really going with 'finesse' in mind. The previous class ran over, and LG's class was truncated, so we'd gone quite a few miles (on twisty, pot-holed, rural roads), paid full whack, had less time, and not necessarily achieved a great deal. So perhaps a natural conclusion is presenting itself.  LG has achieved a level far higher than we ever anticipated, when we first started classes, so there's no requirement/expectation from DH or I, for LG to continue on - unless they wish to. Further levels/achievements are only really available in a competitive context, and we certainly don't mind if LG doesn't want to go down that route.

Can' think of anything else MSE at the mo, so I'll push orf. Ta for popping by,

Greying X

EssexHebridean · 17 June at 11:59AM

Not sure who you are with Greying, but Octopus make it wonderfully easy to adjust DD amounts - just a simple process through their app. Once they have realised that you manage things responsibly, they're quite happy to let you tinker and amend things as suits. Definitely not something I've ever encountered with an energy supplier before though!

Greying_Pilgrim · 17 June at 12:18PM

That's the thing EH - the company wrote on something..... last billing info?? that our regular submitting of meter readings enabled them to bill us accurately 🙄 And like most other folk, we use more energy in the winter, and less in the summer, and our bill profile is pretty consistent....... 🙄 Big business - what a pain........

Back from shopping. I opted to do a smarty shop in MrS as there were a couple of things that were discounted sufficiently for me to 'bite'. I did buy a bag of YS'd carrots. There was a YS label over the bar code, but it scanned proper price to begin with (sufficient of the barcode on the bag registered), but it's easy enough to delete and have another go at scanning😁 No boxes, and nothing (apart from the carrots) YS'd that was on my list/particularly inspiring. I spent £30.10 in MrS, which got me some extra points - I'm just shy of getting enough for a 'second' £2.50 voucher. I also spent £2.78 in hB on food items, so will add £32.88 to my siggie figgie just now.

Interesting on the radio going to the shops, the 'Ten 2 the t0p' game was on and the contestant was telling 'Oooh-Gary' how he was chair of the youth footy leagues up in..... Barrow? and there were something like 1800 young people in their league 👍 then he mentioned that his hobby was video gaming - Gary asked if he designed games as he was a software designer by profession. He said that there was a group of gamers locally - I'm sure he said there were over 40 people, who hooked up to play together, and 'worldwide' with others - and this guy said that gaming had given him alot of pleasure and he'd met alot of new people through gaming - so it can be a positive thing. Everything in moderation I guess - this guy had a job, a community commitment and there was time for gaming. All about balance.

Greying X

rtandon27 · 17 June at 1:01PM

Last time the energy company raised my DD, I spent 45 mins on hold waiting to speak to a live person! So by the time they got to me I was doubly narked! You can be sure I asked for compensation for my time, and when they 'hesitated', I asked to raise a complaint. Guess what... they acquiesced - not nearly what my hourly rate is, but they did acknowledge sub-par customer service in writing so let's count it as a win!

beanielou · 17 June at 1:45PM

My DS has been a gamer for years. I worried in his teenage years that he gamed too much but he is a lovely adult. He teaches in a secondary school, runs after school clubs. He still games on line with people he has known since school and some from university.