Are all workplaces b**chy in your experience?

B0bbyEwing

housebuyer143 said:

No, most places I have worked have been nice places with nice people who are not bitchy. The only place remotely like that was at a place where they hired kids just out of school or really young 20s. Lots of complaints and bitching about everything there. The managers there were horrible though as well, so probably made the bullying etc seem acceptable.

I think this is something that comes with age and in the workplaces I have been where they have the majority of people 30+, there is either none or significantly less. Some older people can still act like kids though!! 
I personally would leave and find somewhere new if the workplace atmosphere is that bad. Life is too short to work somewhere you don't like 

I'd say it's been a pretty even split in my experience between young & old with troublesome ones featuring in both categories. You can see it in the younger ones. Generally the mad at the world types. Older ones is a more broad range.

 LightFlare said:

I would be looking for the common denominator between this scenario and your previous one and consider if the real problem lies there.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6486714/getting-away-with-falsifying-working-time#latest

If you're implying that I'm the cause of all my works troubles then I don't have the energy to change someone's mind that's already made up.
As said, I told myself it may just be me so sit back & observe. Then when others start pointing things out I start saying we'll maybe I'm not mad after all. 

If you weren't implying that then I misread your post. 

Chloe_G said:

Yes, I've worked in several offices which sound like this.  

Unfortunate for you but at least I'm not in the minority of 1 lol.


Edit to add - thanks to all who responded. While not a scientific survey, this has served a purpose for me, even if it's not clear to you. 
Beforehand I was feeling a little like what's the point with searching for alternative employment if everything is likely to be the same, even if different. Your responses have me thinking more positively  even if I feel 1 of you was implying I'm the cause of said problems. 

So thanks. 

NCC1701-A

No, I've worked in dozens of places over the years, most places aren't like you describe, sounds very much like a school playground.

Marcon

B0bbyEwing said:

housebuyer143 said:

No, most places I have worked have been nice places with nice people who are not bitchy. The only place remotely like that was at a place where they hired kids just out of school or really young 20s. Lots of complaints and bitching about everything there. The managers there were horrible though as well, so probably made the bullying etc seem acceptable.

I think this is something that comes with age and in the workplaces I have been where they have the majority of people 30+, there is either none or significantly less. Some older people can still act like kids though!! 
I personally would leave and find somewhere new if the workplace atmosphere is that bad. Life is too short to work somewhere you don't like 

I'd say it's been a pretty even split in my experience between young & old with troublesome ones featuring in both categories. You can see it in the younger ones. Generally the mad at the world types. Older ones is a more broad range.

 LightFlare said:

I would be looking for the common denominator between this scenario and your previous one and consider if the real problem lies there.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6486714/getting-away-with-falsifying-working-time#latest

If you're implying that I'm the cause of all my works troubles then I don't have the energy to change someone's mind that's already made up.
As said, I told myself it may just be me so sit back & observe. Then when others start pointing things out I start saying we'll maybe I'm not mad after all. 

If you weren't implying that then I misread your post. 

Chloe_G said:

Yes, I've worked in several offices which sound like this.  

Unfortunate for you but at least I'm not in the minority of 1 lol.


Edit to add - thanks to all who responded. While not a scientific survey, this has served a purpose for me, even if it's not clear to you. 
Beforehand I was feeling a little like what's the point with searching for alternative employment if everything is likely to be the same, even if different. Your responses have me thinking more positively  even if I feel 1 of you was implying I'm the cause of said problems. 

So thanks. 

It never does any harm to look at yourself and your own behaviour, and consider the possibility that your responses to situations could exacerbate how you feel (which is a long way from suggesting you are the cause of the problems, so perhaps don't be too quick to dismiss giving the thought due consideration).

B0bbyEwing

Marcon said:

B0bbyEwing said:

housebuyer143 said:

No, most places I have worked have been nice places with nice people who are not bitchy. The only place remotely like that was at a place where they hired kids just out of school or really young 20s. Lots of complaints and bitching about everything there. The managers there were horrible though as well, so probably made the bullying etc seem acceptable.

I think this is something that comes with age and in the workplaces I have been where they have the majority of people 30+, there is either none or significantly less. Some older people can still act like kids though!! 
I personally would leave and find somewhere new if the workplace atmosphere is that bad. Life is too short to work somewhere you don't like 

I'd say it's been a pretty even split in my experience between young & old with troublesome ones featuring in both categories. You can see it in the younger ones. Generally the mad at the world types. Older ones is a more broad range.

 LightFlare said:

I would be looking for the common denominator between this scenario and your previous one and consider if the real problem lies there.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6486714/getting-away-with-falsifying-working-time#latest

If you're implying that I'm the cause of all my works troubles then I don't have the energy to change someone's mind that's already made up.
As said, I told myself it may just be me so sit back & observe. Then when others start pointing things out I start saying we'll maybe I'm not mad after all. 

If you weren't implying that then I misread your post. 

Chloe_G said:

Yes, I've worked in several offices which sound like this.  

Unfortunate for you but at least I'm not in the minority of 1 lol.


Edit to add - thanks to all who responded. While not a scientific survey, this has served a purpose for me, even if it's not clear to you. 
Beforehand I was feeling a little like what's the point with searching for alternative employment if everything is likely to be the same, even if different. Your responses have me thinking more positively  even if I feel 1 of you was implying I'm the cause of said problems. 

So thanks. 

It never does any harm to look at yourself and your own behaviour, and consider the possibility that your responses to situations could exacerbate how you feel (which is a long way from suggesting you are the cause of the problems, so perhaps don't be too quick to dismiss giving the thought due consideration).

This I actually have. 

Though I think it best I just say as much as that on the topic & no more as there's too much to go in to here & most certainly for words on a screen which is all we have but I feel can at times come across different than an IRL talk. 

As I've said twice now, I said nothing and thought maybe it's all me even if it's not something I get...... Until the moment others (who can see this stuff in person vs words on a screen from 1 party) started commenting on things which satisfied my thought that it therefore surely isn't in my head after all. 

But anyway, the thread to me has created some positivity so I'm happy with that. 

Archerychick

Definitely not my experience on the whole. Larger companies you can get groups that are very clicky and smaller companies it’s harder to stay away from people you don’t like or would rather not work with. 

This type of behaviour is sadly down to poor leadership, they are allowing this to happen, and perhaps not setting a good example.

It honestly doesn’t sound like you’re very happy there and we spend so much of our lives working, have you thought about looking for a role somewhere else?

ArbitraryRandom

TELLIT01 said:

It would be a rare workplace where everybody got on all of the time.

I agree that every workplace staffed by humans will sometimes experience issues with those humans getting along... 

I also agree with others who say part of it is what you bring to the space - after all, people react to us based on how they perceive we are reacting to them, so they might be being 'bitchy' about you because they think you are the one that started being unfriendly/rude (when you just think you're getting on with things and keeping your head down)  

I think there's something that also needs to be considered re how you are reacting to what you are perceiving. When I'm in a good headspace, everything is great. When I'm in a bad headspace I dwell on things negatively and remember negative things for longer - so a passing comment can be a bitchy remark that will sit and stew for a week, making every glance or laugh about me...

So, if you're not happy, sure you can think about moving on to somewhere else (though that seems like quite a drastic step if the ONLY reason you're thinking about moving is you don't like your colleagues...) but don't be surprised if it repeats if you're taking the same attitude and energy to the new workplace, because relationships take two to build and maintain.

 

theoretica

Many workplaces are full of people who wouldn't choose to be there if they didn't need the money - which may erode away at some people being at their very best.  I wonder if it varies depending on how many of the colleagues really want that particular job, and how many just want a wage.

MattMattMattUK

B0bbyEwing said:

Is that a fair reflection of where you've worked?

Generally no, although two did have elements of that culture it was either due to people complaining about incompetent management (they were) or it was complaining about someone who took the p*so out of their colleagues with their work ethic, so although that individual felt that others were unreasonably complaining about them, the complaints were fully justified.

In general most people just want to get on with their job and have little interest in office politics, though it can also be easy for one person to turn things bad if they are a toxic person. Good management should deal with any toxic individuals, but sometimes that can be easier said than done and colleagues should also remember that if they are difficult people to work with (for many different reasons) then genuine discussions and complaints about their behaviour are justified.

B0bbyEwing

Archerychick said:

have you thought about looking for a role somewhere else?

Long story there but short answer is yes. Have even discussed partly with a psychologist. 
It's an ongoing struggle.

MattMattMattUK said:

 office politics

 I always find this one interesting. It's always offices that are referred to. You instantly say office politics. I've seen on here when others talk about issues with finishing or whatever, the replies come in & say what about taking your work home with you or why don't you come in to the office earlier - when no mention of working in an office has even been given. The individual could be working in an operating theatre or in the sewers for all we know.

So yeah, nothing at all against you here. I'm just saying I find it interesting that everyone (or at least my experience on this forum is this) assumes everyone else works in an office. 

ArbitraryRandom

B0bbyEwing said:

I'm just saying I find it interesting that everyone (or at least my experience on this forum is this) assumes everyone else works in an office. 

I don't think anyone is assuming you work in an office - it would be unusual (not impossible) for office workers to be working shifts and to clock in and out. It's a common english colloquial phrase.