Are all workplaces b**chy in your experience?

B0bbyEwing

Is this just how workplaces are in general? I haven't worked too many places you see so don't have anything to really compare to.
Currently reading a book by someone who was in a horrendous working environment, so much wrong going on. Different to my own situation of course but a b**chy environment, snipes & toxicity ... it just is what it is. 

I've long since suspected a fair chunk of my department have been slating me behind my back. It becomes pretty obvious when you walk in to a room & people disperse or clam up. Today I've basically been told that others in my dept are having a moan that when I book annual leave, I don't go anywhere (as in abroad I suppose) so that I'm basically blocking off weeks that others could have to do something more important. 

Honestly, what does it matter how someone uses their annual leave? 

I've overheard lazy steward of the bar being mentioned when they think I'm out of ear shot, yet when they're all huddled together playing on their phones & I'm elsewhere working I don't hear any insults then. 
There's certain things I can't yet to at the moment on medical grounds which management have been ok with. My department to my face say if you can't do it then you can't do it & appear understanding with it, yet unsurprisingly (now) I'm informed by someone who actually doesn't seem to be against me that they're moaning about it when I'm out of ear shot.

Yet nobody wants to say a thing to my face.

Speaking to my partner who's had more jobs than I have & they've experienced not quite as bad but similar elsewhere. Not them directly but they've seen it go on with others.

Just makes me think - to leave because I've had enough of this dark cloud, am I just very likely going to be replacing it with another dark cloud, just a different shade? 

I've always been the kind of person where if I had a problem with someone, I spoke to that person. Some people don't like that as they don't like people being direct but I'd much prefer that than people hiding in the shadows. We all have a grumble from time to time but it's the whispering & hiding that I'm not a fan of.

Is that a fair reflection of where you've worked?

oldernonethewiser

B0bbyEwing said:

Is this just how workplaces are in general? I haven't worked too many places you see so don't have anything to really compare to.
Currently reading a book by someone who was in a horrendous working environment, so much wrong going on. Different to my own situation of course but a b**chy environment, snipes & toxicity ... it just is what it is. 

I've long since suspected a fair chunk of my department have been slating me behind my back. It becomes pretty obvious when you walk in to a room & people disperse or clam up. Today I've basically been told that others in my dept are having a moan that when I book annual leave, I don't go anywhere (as in abroad I suppose) so that I'm basically blocking off weeks that others could have to do something more important. 

Honestly, what does it matter how someone uses their annual leave? 

I've overheard lazy steward of the bar being mentioned when they think I'm out of ear shot, yet when they're all huddled together playing on their phones & I'm elsewhere working I don't hear any insults then. 
There's certain things I can't yet to at the moment on medical grounds which management have been ok with. My department to my face say if you can't do it then you can't do it & appear understanding with it, yet unsurprisingly (now) I'm informed by someone who actually doesn't seem to be against me that they're moaning about it when I'm out of ear shot.

Yet nobody wants to say a thing to my face.

Speaking to my partner who's had more jobs than I have & they've experienced not quite as bad but similar elsewhere. Not them directly but they've seen it go on with others.

Just makes me think - to leave because I've had enough of this dark cloud, am I just very likely going to be replacing it with another dark cloud, just a different shade? 

I've always been the kind of person where if I had a problem with someone, I spoke to that person. Some people don't like that as they don't like people being direct but I'd much prefer that than people hiding in the shadows. We all have a grumble from time to time but it's the whispering & hiding that I'm not a fan of.

Is that a fair reflection of where you've worked?

Not my experience of workplace environments.

B0bbyEwing

oldernonethewiser said:

B0bbyEwing said:

Is this just how workplaces are in general? I haven't worked too many places you see so don't have anything to really compare to.
Currently reading a book by someone who was in a horrendous working environment, so much wrong going on. Different to my own situation of course but a b**chy environment, snipes & toxicity ... it just is what it is. 

I've long since suspected a fair chunk of my department have been slating me behind my back. It becomes pretty obvious when you walk in to a room & people disperse or clam up. Today I've basically been told that others in my dept are having a moan that when I book annual leave, I don't go anywhere (as in abroad I suppose) so that I'm basically blocking off weeks that others could have to do something more important. 

Honestly, what does it matter how someone uses their annual leave? 

I've overheard lazy steward of the bar being mentioned when they think I'm out of ear shot, yet when they're all huddled together playing on their phones & I'm elsewhere working I don't hear any insults then. 
There's certain things I can't yet to at the moment on medical grounds which management have been ok with. My department to my face say if you can't do it then you can't do it & appear understanding with it, yet unsurprisingly (now) I'm informed by someone who actually doesn't seem to be against me that they're moaning about it when I'm out of ear shot.

Yet nobody wants to say a thing to my face.

Speaking to my partner who's had more jobs than I have & they've experienced not quite as bad but similar elsewhere. Not them directly but they've seen it go on with others.

Just makes me think - to leave because I've had enough of this dark cloud, am I just very likely going to be replacing it with another dark cloud, just a different shade? 

I've always been the kind of person where if I had a problem with someone, I spoke to that person. Some people don't like that as they don't like people being direct but I'd much prefer that than people hiding in the shadows. We all have a grumble from time to time but it's the whispering & hiding that I'm not a fan of.

Is that a fair reflection of where you've worked?

Not my experience of workplace environments.

Encouraging. Thanks given.

Not everyone I've spoken to said it was a fair reflection but most experienced similar. 

I suppose it also depends on type of job & other factors too. I'd say some job roles may have someone experiencing that more than others. 

elsien

Nope, not reflective of my workplace either.
Yes of course people have a bit of a gossip or  they’re falling out sometimes because that is human nature and happens in any setting with a work related or not.
People falling silent when someone walks into a room – no.
People are always going to whinge about annual leave or whatever else – maybe you are just taking it too personally?

B0bbyEwing

elsien said:

maybe you are just taking it too personally?

Nope. There's quite a lot that I've left out tbh. 

I also asked myself that initially & sat back to try and give benefit of the doubt but things would continuously happen. 
It came to something when others would come to me & say what's the problem with Mr A, B & C. When other people started noticing it I knew it can't just be me. It goes a lot further than just simply walking out of a room when someone walks in but as I say, there's so much that's happened that I've just not gone in to here.

Currently looking at other things but was feeling a bit down about the whole thing anyway in the sense that - from speaking to others, this seems to be a common thing (going further than just the general moan). 

But it's positive that of those who've responded, this seems to be a minority & not a majority thing.

Chloe_G

Yes, I've worked in several offices which sound like this.  

YBR

None of this in my current team, but I think we're blessed to be like that. 

Most teams will have some gossip, or one "right so-and-so", or a boss who is absent or inept, or some imperfection but generally nothing malicious, nothing you can't generally get on with OK.

housebuyer143

No, most places I have worked have been nice places with nice people who are not bitchy. The only place remotely like that was at a place where they hired kids just out of school or really young 20s. Lots of complaints and bitching about everything there. The managers there were horrible though as well, so probably made the bullying etc seem acceptable.

I think this is something that comes with age and in the workplaces I have been where they have the majority of people 30+, there is either none or significantly less. Some older people can still act like kids though!! 
I personally would leave and find somewhere new if the workplace atmosphere is that bad. Life is too short to work somewhere you don't like 

penners324

Been working at small companies mostly (less that 50 employees). Not had any of that.

LightFlare

I would be looking for the common denominator between this scenario and your previous one and consider if the real problem lies there.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6486714/getting-away-with-falsifying-working-time#latest

TELLIT01

It would be a rare workplace where everybody got on all of the time.  I worked in a variety of organisations, large and small, and there seemed to be very little correlation between size of business and the amount of bit**ing.  There was certainly a correlation between the gender balance and the bit**ing (in my experience).  I think, again in general, that men are more inclined than women to say something directly if they aren't happy with a situation.  Women get it off their chest by moaning to colleagues about other people.