if the kids chuck there dinner in the bin

Hardup_Hester

I was often told that I needed to break my DD's will, and although I often felt like breaking her neck I admired her strong will & courage. I chose her schools carefully so her independance was encouraged, I chose my battles with her carefully & only insisted on obedience whan it was a matter of life & death. I learned to grit my teeth & plaster on a smile when she insisted on doing everything her older by 5 years brother did, including climbing the stairs on the outside of the bannister! I refused to battle over food with her, despite my MIL insisting I should offer her alternative meals, or buy a tonic for her, she was always was a bundle of energy, small & skinny & rarely ill & often seemed to go for a couple of days without a main meal, but she ate huge quantities of breakfast & fruit. She is now 26, still slim, still full of energy, has never had a filling & rules her hubby, who is 6' & and in the army, with a rod of iron. He, like my hubby has learnt that the answer to every question is 'Yes dear'. It was my admiration & emulation of her courage & determination that enabled me to carry on after my divorce.

dorry_2

Shoey1610 wrote: »

The point I was making was not that you didn't know anorexia was a mental health problem, but that you are confusing the symptoms of eating disorders with the causes of eating disorders. You have reiterated this point again "if we ****foot around the issue, like some parents do, it can lead to some eating disorders or just make their fussiness much worse." In the context of this thread, the way you deal with this parenting issue alone will not cause an eating disorder, however your approach to this issue may be reflective of a much bigger family dynamic which when coupled with a child who has psychological precursors to an eating disorder may result in one. So yes, as you say the attitude "You will sit there and eat it until you are finished" may affect more sensitive children/teenagers, but for an eating disorder to occur this is likely to be representative of the general way the family relates to each other, coupled with some other stress factors. I agree that parents should keep an eye out for the symptoms of eating disorders, so I think that is very good advice, but I don't think that a fussy eater should be taken to a CAHMS unit to show them where such behaviour may take them. I don't agree with this even with those whose behaviours are suggestive of an eating disorder because I think it would have little therapeutic value.

So yes, in a way I am saying that my clients were not fussy eaters at home, they were suffering from a mental illness, and the symptoms were issues with food that are very far from just being a fussy eater.

shoey,

of course i knew that it was a mental health problem, I worked on the unit for 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

Shoey1610

dorry wrote: »

shoey,

of course i knew that it was a mental health problem, I worked on the unit for 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

Sorry? I said I wasn't saying you didn't know anorexia was a mental health problem. There is not one part of either of my posts that say you didn't know it was a mental health problem I think we will just have to agree to disagree.

dorry_2

Shoey1610 wrote: »

Sorry? I said I wasn't saying you didn't know anorexia was a mental health problem. There is not one part of either of my posts that say you didn't know it was a mental health problem I think we will just have to agree to disagree.

ok, then, ( dorry shakes hands )

Shoey1610

(Shoey shakes hands)

frogga

Good girls, now shut up and eat your dinner

freyasmum

Absolutely not. I haven't rest of the thread, but I certainly wouldn't give them anything else. I had to do that with the ex and he was 25! If he didn't eat what he was given (apparently didn't like vegetables!), then he got nothing else.

I shall do the same with my dd when she is a bit older; she's still only 18 months

Lx

taxi97w

ceridwen wrote: »

The whole concept of having a battle of wills with a child is appalling. I've had to develop willpower (and a lot of it) in my adult life - as otherwise I'd have to consider myself lucky to be living in a bedsit and paid Minimum Wage.

I don't remember what was on the plate, I tried to eat it but couldn't. My jaw was getting tighter and tighter as I tried, until it completely seized up. My mother didn't believe me and insisted I eat it. When I was unable to protest any more because my mouth was sealed shut, she sent me to bed with nothing. The next day I was the same. She eventually took me to the doctor who declared tetanus! (lock jaw).

I'll never forgive her.

emmaroids

if my kids don't eat there food they get nothing else. luckily that hardly ever happens.

if you give in to them at a young age you open up all sorts of problems in later life.

hence, todays chavs are yesterdays spoilt kids.

jinky67

My friend recently had to stay with MIL with DS and all day she fed him sweets,cakes,ice lollies etc...:eek:
Then had the cheek to say "At least you know he's had something":mad:

Friend was livid as she regulates his sugar intake, as his Dad is diabetic!