if the kids chuck there dinner in the bin

Squiggly_Diddly

That's exactly what my 11 year old youngest DD is doing right now - wandering between kitchen & lounge, checking the freezer contents, looking at her cookbook & planning the next week's dinners.... She's got jacket potatoes & fillings one day, homemade chicken & pepper kebabs with couscous & garlic bread for another day, pork steaks in honey & mustard sauce, HM mash & carrots another day... I'm quite impressed :-) Said to her she has to look at what's in cupboards/freezer that can be used, then make shopping list for any extra bits.

Oldest DD (15) is not fussy, will eat most stuff - prefers salad & healthy food, youngest DD not too bad, bit picky on odd things, middle DD bit of a nightmare sometimes, just wants to live off junky stuff, hates salad or says she's "not hungry" (then starts picking at biscuits half an hour later....).

So our new year resolution is one meal cooked rather than 2 or 3 (except for slight variation, me & one DD love liver, the other 2 hate it, so would do same accompaniments, just different meat for them), and all sit & eat together at table (where possible). I've said I'm not running a cafe!

Deal is they can't say they don't like something if they've never tried it either - but if they try & hate it, then fair enough. Getting them involved in planning & cooking does seem to make life easier.

Shoey1610

dorry wrote: »

hi shoey,

my point was that when some children start becoming over fussy with food, it can lead to other problems, such as any eating disorders.

I am well aware that anorexia is a mental health problem and they cannot help feeling this way towards food

The anorexia paitents are obsessed with putting on weight, their whole world revolves around avoiding foods which they say they don't like!!!

I know that many children are fussy eaters, I have one at home, but sometimes if we ****foot around the issue, like some parents do, it can lead to some eating disorders or just make their fussiness much worse.

I have heard others in our family comment upon how I care for ds2, they have said things like, 'make him eat it' and he should sit there until he is finished!!! This attitude could easily damage some sensitive children and lead to other mental health issues later in life

Are you saying that none of your paitients with eating disorders were never fussy eaters at home????

The point I was making was not that you didn't know anorexia was a mental health problem, but that you are confusing the symptoms of eating disorders with the causes of eating disorders. You have reiterated this point again "if we ****foot around the issue, like some parents do, it can lead to some eating disorders or just make their fussiness much worse." In the context of this thread, the way you deal with this parenting issue alone will not cause an eating disorder, however your approach to this issue may be reflective of a much bigger family dynamic which when coupled with a child who has psychological precursors to an eating disorder may result in one. So yes, as you say the attitude "You will sit there and eat it until you are finished" may affect more sensitive children/teenagers, but for an eating disorder to occur this is likely to be representative of the general way the family relates to each other, coupled with some other stress factors. I agree that parents should keep an eye out for the symptoms of eating disorders, so I think that is very good advice, but I don't think that a fussy eater should be taken to a CAHMS unit to show them where such behaviour may take them. I don't agree with this even with those whose behaviours are suggestive of an eating disorder because I think it would have little therapeutic value.

So yes, in a way I am saying that my clients were not fussy eaters at home, they were suffering from a mental illness, and the symptoms were issues with food that are very far from just being a fussy eater.

Gingham_Ribbon

ceridwen wrote: »

Joking???! Arent you?

My lad often refused his dinner when I was pregnant and DH, who had far more on his plate than he should have, would give him a jam sandwich or something similar at bed time - and so the routine continued. He rejected good food he was used to eating without fuss knowing he'd get 'treat food' at bedtime.

Once I was up to it, that was stopped sharpish with clear warnings that if he didn't eat his dinner he'd go to bed hungry. And he did go to bed hungry. Didn't take him long to get over that little fad. Now he eats what he's given. I know what food he doesn't like and I don't give him it, except for a taste now and again to see if he's changed his mind. Children need to be loved and protected. They don't need to be molicoddled. If he's hungry, he'll eat what is available.

Both mine have been veggie since birth. The oldest knows where meat comes from and chooses, for now, not to eat it. The youngest will be given the same choice. You can pack a lot of protein in soup if you use red lentils and split peas as a base and serve it with wholemeal bread. Yoghurt with chopped nuts and honey, roast seeds, French toast, grating cheddar into scrambled egg just before it's cooked through, fried butter beans, hummous with carrot batons and slices of pitta bread...all good for protein. Children don't need meat in a good balanced diet, though that depends on the family. If the person doing the cooking doesn't want to cater for a veggie then I think that's reasonable personally. I wanted to be vegetarian from the age of about 6 or 7. I had to wait until I was old enough to cook my own meals and I did it at 16.

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

When I was growing up it was a case of it's there eat it, but was all fairly unadventurous as my older brother was/is very fussy about food.

Once we were old enough it was if you don't like it make your own.

I went through a phase of not eating chicken so it was replaced with fish, or I had the same meal and just picked out the meat! or cooked my own. The phase was over as soon as I discovered the dark meat on chicken/turkey - mum hadn't thought of offering me that.

Mum had instilled in me the principles of healthy eating so my own cooking was usually quite good, it also taught me to cook.

As teenagers we appreciated that mum worked full time as a childminder at home so didn't have time to be making 3 or 4 different meals a night. If there was something that one of us definitely didn't like but others did it was cooked but just left off that person's plate. Mum can still remember everyone's likes and dislikes even though I was the last to move out 12 years ago.

MDW

vivaladiva

ceridwen wrote: »

I may be wrong on this one....but I believe on the Continent there isnt this concept of "childrens food" that there is in Britain. As I understand it - they eat the same as the adults do.

It would certainly be a model I would advocate myself - and tell them how Continental/sophisticated/grown-up they were being to do so and try all the different range of foods and different ways of eating them that I believe in.

Bit off topic but my eldest DD hit an age where she really didn't want the rubbish offered on children's menus in restaurants and an adult portion was far too much for her to eat. We got round this by asking for an adult mean split on to two plates, and she would share with her eldest brother. Restaurants are quite happy to do this - the problem is getting two siblings to agree on what they're having:rolleyes:.

tiredwithtwins

funnily enough, one of the twins went to bed hungry tongiht because he wouldnt eat any dinner ... and he loves his veg usually and will eat them if not his meat.
my m-i-l gives in to them and gives them crisps/biscuits if they dont eat at her house (im sure she does it on purpose to wind me up:mad: ) and its had a knock on effect here at home. so if they dont eat their dinner/tea they go hungry ... they also dont stop at grannies now

they have always eaten what we have had too, but my daughter who is 10 doesnt like the texture of meat so often asks for a meat free meal ... i try and accomodate her but she tends to change her mind on a weekly basis as to what she will/wont eat - i then have to put my foot down and tell her if she doesnt eat she cant fill up with milk later ...

FrugalJo

My two are opposite ends of the scale, eldest DS -13 - very picky. Would junk all day if he could. We do all sit down in the evening and he really isn't a big eater, unless it's something he loves ie stew (but he'll pick out the onions !) Don't think he's ever cleaned his plate. If you ask him to try something new he will have already made his mind up that he hates before he puts it in his mouth.

Have just let him get on with it now, it was a big issue when he was 3 - 5, just didn't seem to eat anything.And it was a case of 'if you are hungry you'll eat it.' He's getting there slowly, probably because the pressure is off. My biggest bugbear is the packed lunches, but that's another thread.

Youngest - 11 - will eat anything and too much of it aswell, eats more than me at dinner times.

As long as they have one piece of fruit at each meal I'm not too fussed anymore.

Eating out used to be a big dilemma, not because one is picky, but the options were so limited. We live in a seaside resort, pub food is pants - Chicken nuggets or pizza? Let them have real food. Youngest was a whitebait fan at the age of 5, eldest couldn't watch him eat them !

dlb

I have 4 children ranging from 5-12 yrs old.
They all have to show me their plates before they go to throw anyhting away, this is for 2 reasons
1-So i can check if they have ate enough
2-To see if there is anything that they have left that can be reused.

If any of the kids leave anything, they do not have anything until next meal,i dont pile their plates up and if they are hungry and eat the lot there is always seconds or a pudding.

There is no way i would offer another meal becaue they have left food, i meal plan for the week ahead and pin the menu up on the noticeboard in kitchen, if any of them have a problem with any of the meals, they have to let me know before that day so i can change it if i feel the need to.

ceridwen

Prompting me to think what approach I would take with children. Reckon it would be:

- Will try to ensure they arent given food they dislike

- As soon as they are old enough to safely use a breadknife and canopener - if I inadvertently then served them food they didnt like - tell them to make their own, there was plenty of choice available in the kitchen (I'd know they'd still be on a healthy diet whatever they took - as healthy food is all there is in my kitchen).

- If they wanted to eat meat - then do what you please outside my home and dont cook it in my home

- They would be introduced to as wide a variety of different foods as I eat (ie VERY wide)

- If they didnt like the "side" thing with vegetables/salad/pudding they would be asked what they wanted with it instead (ie do you want French dressing or lemon slices with your salad etc/ do you want yogurt, creme fraiche or plain fromage frais with your pudding).

- They would be bought a childs cookbook (IF I could find a healthy one that is - problem of itself!) and taught to cook as young as possible.

- By teenage years I would expect them to take their turn choosing and cooking the family meals.

- Have got them to realise the connection between the food they saw people buying in the supermarket and how healthy or otherwise the person looked and how slim or otherwise they were (so they automatically realised that healthy diet probably means slim and healthy body). (edited: kill them cheerfully if they went "ooh look Mum ...isnt that person fat..bet they live on junk food!" within earshot! - only joking -lol).

frogga

Hmmmmmm where shall I start?

Been thinking about posting on here for a couple of days but thought I should just keep my mouth shut as it might loose me some friends! Then I thought, well , we are all entitled to an opinion and we are all grown ups (well you lot are!) so for what it's worth , here's my tuppence :

I have been veggie since I was about 4 which was when I put 2 and 2 together and realised what it was we were all eating! At 4 I might not have been informed about nutririon , but I knew my own mind. I knew I did not want to eat a dead animal. So I didn't. It was my mothers job to make sure I got a balanced diet, and she did it brilliantly.

Mr Frog is a meat eater. My principles are MY PRINCIPLES, not his. The Tadpoles have never eaten meat and I'm quite shocked to read that some posters think it's wrong to bring up kids as veggie. I have never given my Tadpoles meat. They know what it is and how it got there. At present they are VERY adamant that they wouldn't touch the stuff. An opinion of there own forming as , as I said before Mr Frog eats meat and has no problem with it.

I have never given the Tadpoles alcohol, fags or heroin and hope that they will not do those vices either, but if they do , then it will be their choice. You bring you kids up teaching them what you think is right and wrong and then let them make an informed choice, surely?

As both the Tadpoles are now 11 and 12 I know what foods they do and don't like so I don't give them things they don't like ~ it's not rocket science! I know what I do and don't like and would not appriciate being constantly told to try it again ~ I don't like it!!! Both Tadploes are very unfussy and will try anything as long as it didn't once have a face, and if they don't like it , then they don't have to eat it!!

Both tadpoles went through 6 years at primary school without having a single day off sick. They are both very well informed on nutrition, in fact when "well meaning" adults quiz them on their diet , they always know alot more than the question asker!

Both Tadpoles can cook well, often making simple meals for the whole family.

I don't pile their plate high as they only have little stomachs and I trust them to know when they are full , they are full! They are not idiots! There isn't "junk food" on offer anyway so they don't eat that.

There are no bad manners in my house ~ they certanly would'nt chuck their food in the bin. On Christmas day tadpole 2 said " Thankyou for the nut roast Mum, but I'd rather not eat it thankyou" I was a bit dissapointed , but he didn't like it. He had a try , and he didn't like it, it's hardly the crime of the century!! When I tried it I didn't like it either!!!

I think that everyone who has contributed on here has a right to their opinion wether they have actual experience of feeding children or not. All I can say is, Children too have a right to an opinion as much as the next man. If only they were listened to a little bit more, they actually talk a hell of a lot of sense!

I bet that puts the cat among the pigeons!