NST December 2023 The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year?

grandmanerd

My brother phoned on Friday to tell me he has cancer. It's treatable with radiotherapy and has been found, tested and organised with commendable quickness (I think it's benign but he didn't actually say that).

The last 3 days have been low on productivity but determined plodding is the order of the day, what gets done gets done, the rest is still on the list. Running out of time on lots of things so will  lower my expectations. more self care is needed. 

Grateful for my health (I'm still  moving), beautiful present wrapping (butterflies and the recipient's favourite colours), easy food from stores (although the recent addition of red grapes is very welcome), books to read, series to watch, finding things again.

apple_muncher

Hugs, grandmanerd, hope he is in good hands and the treatment works.

Today I am grateful for getting the Cmas radio times, for a v1nted item fitting dc well, for not getting too wet on a walk and also totally missing the downpour with thunder and lightning, for dc wanting to go back to school tomorrow after 2 poorly days, for the joy of baked potatoes.

ditty1234

This morning I am grateful for waking up fairly well rested. For getting my Christmas tree up last night thanks to fairy godmother neighbour, 2. (was live) tree from charity show. For deciding to loan some money from savings until work cba to pay up back pay. I need to order Christmas gifts. 
For having booked yoga for tonight.
Had a lovely snap visit from ds2 interviewing to be a fireman (yes he keeps changing career ideas) soon I will know if he has passed 3. round, I'm sure there are more to come. 
Have a lovely day, don't wish your life away, not even for C day, it is just an other day at the end of the day. 

grandmanerd

Wednesday 13th December 2023

For those with difficult relations (or who find the season difficult in any way)

Ways to deal with family in the holidays
Think about your boundaries,  how long you'll stay, what you're willing to talk about etc
Plan something relaxing or fun for afterwards in case things get stressful
If there is conflict don't give in, try to change the subject or excuse yourself
Think about how you'll deal with stress - deep breathing, bring a book, tapping
Try not to take things personally. Your life and choices are your business. People judging you is their problem
Consider not going if it's too bad. You don't owe toxic or abusive people anything
Avoid controversial topics and limit alcohol intake if you drink
Vent to a friend or your journal afterwards
Try to see yourself as an objective observer

(One of the girls who visited us at weekends had been abused by her sister's boyfriend. The sister believed him and the rest of the family too. On every subsequent family event she was forced to be in his company)

Being a 'good' kid often meant being 'mature' - we were often praised for not having big feelings, not making messes, not making noise. Thing is....kids really need to have big feelings, make messes and make noise. 'Good' kids often grow into anxious adults.
(Dr Glenn Patrick Doyle)


Complex trauma survivors often seem to have a sixth sense for reading people and situations. That's  not a superpower, that's our nervous system having adapted to a home environment where we NEEDED to almost 'see the future' to be safe. And it's a 'sense' that comes at a cost
(Dr Glenn Patrick Doyle)

(I think that when we get together with our siblings it's easy to fall or be pushed back into the roles we were allotted as children)

 
There are no rules for surviving holiday grief
Do what you need to to survive
Honour your loved one how you need to and do what feels best for your aching, fragile heart
You are missing a huge piece of you, so do whatever you need to do to find a sliver of peace
(Angela Miller)

laura_lau

Thank you @grandmanerd for these useful reminders. I'm getting ready to fly to my hometown abroad at the end of next week and I'll be staying until New Year's eve, and I have such mixed feelings of dread and excitement. Looking forward to seeing most of the family, but at the same time I know I will miss having any time for myself, so thinking about boundaries ahead of time might definitely help.

Yesterday had a lovely Christmas lunch at work, which was paid for by the company, and very enjoyable. I used the money saved not having to buy any food on the day by having a fancy takeaway for dinner, but we needed it and we actually enjoyed it very much. We ordered sushi, which we hadn't had in over a year, so it was a real treat, and I was pleasantly surprised to actually have a leftover 50% discount voucher still lingering in the app, so in the end it wasn't as big of a splash as it could have been. We really enjoyed it, which is the most important thing.

Tonight I am going to the line dancing Christmas party, very much looking forward to it, which makes today another spendy day, so I took advantage of it and ordered what I hope to be the very last gift I still needed to buy. I will review my list tomorrow just to be sure I haven't forgotten anyone!

This is my last proper engagement pre-Christmas, I only have to go to the office once more next week, and then I have a very relaxed end of year celebratory evening with the ladies from the crochet club next week, which is always a zero stress event.

I also decided to take one of my last days off remaining for the year on Monday 18th, to have a long weekend to quietly spend at home with OH and the dog, enjoying the cozy house, sipping hot chocolate, resting and recharging. Can't wait!

DawnW

Most of today was spent sorting out tax payments and ISAs

Also wrote some Christmas cards. Didn't have enough, and I will need to buy some more tomorrow. I used stamps from my stash (I used to belong to the Postal Survey and members were 'paid' in stamps) to post the ones I had done.

Ordered some Christmas presents for smallest grandkids, and arranged to send some money for the teens. Also sent some money for eldest GD's birthday. So lots of spends today, but the tax bill was less than I thought, and at least it is done now!

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for dc going to school, for spending time with lovely people, for my tutee, for making an awesome bacon soup, for DH going stuff around so that he could bring the tree inside.

beanielou

I am wrapping presents & loosing the will.

grandmanerd

A busy day for me. I decided I needed to get the blood and urine test paperwork from the doctor's (they're closed tomorrow for staff training). I booked the blood test online for 2.25 pm. Set off from the house just after noon as I'd decided to buy an all day breakfast in the mall.

I dropped off 2 books at the library, went to a shop that had a collection tin I wanted to contribute to, bought a few food bits and went to HB for medicine top ups (no vapour rub though). Walked through the market to the mall, posted the 5 cards I'd found stamps for and a bag of toys and books at the cs. went to the cafe next door but had the festive special rather than the breakfast - it was wonderful.

I'd missed the bus to the infirmary by minutes (so close I should have seen it) and they've been reduced to one an hour, so i crossed the road and took a taxi. Used my favourite toilet (the ones at the cafe are upstairs - more than  20 steps so I didn't drink much with lunch),  went up to the doctor's surgery. The receptionist printed the forms and booked me a January appointment with the Practice Nurse.I said I'd booked the blood test appointment and would come back on the bus with the sample tomorrow . She gave me a cup and told me to try drinking some water and 'having a go' rather than make a second trip.  No joy but thought I'd try again after the blood test.

Round the corner to see if I could book my foot appointment. Unfortunately they all  have to be done by phone now but was glad I'd asked as the number is changing so I have the old and new numbers to try (he didn't know when the changeover was happening). Off to my blood test, a little bit of a struggle finding a vein - tried both arms and had to finish off on the outside of my arm. Managed a very small sample in the bathroom afterwards.

Back to  the bus stop and again just missed the bus (I'm actually wondering if they were running because I haven't seen one all day - they tend to drop that route when they're short of drivers). Walked back to the the health centre intending to read and write the remainder of my cards which were in my handbag. It was too cold to sit outside on a steel bench for nearly an hour. However when I got back inside sitting on a hard chair didn't appeal either, so I phoned for a taxi. Got in the house at 20 to 4 and am very tired.

Grateful for lots of things crossed off the to do list and some things out of the house, a lovely lunch, helpful receptionists.

f0xh0les

beanielou said:

I am wrapping presents & loosing the will.

It will be under the paper, next to the sticky tape