Compulsive Debtor - help!

lilac_lady

Treat every day like a recovering alchoholic - a day at a time. Also log on here EVERY day to keep yourself on the right track. Happy 2008 to you.

In_Search_Of_Me

Just to say welcome....good that you are getting some help. Spending is hard & I think most of us on here can relate to the feeling worthless & stupid because of what we've done. The important thing is that you are dealing with it. Lots of people have struglled with the OH thing and most I think report there is huge relief in telling them, even if its followed by some upset & anger its better than living a lie. Whats done is done & you need to move forward, learn from past mistakes and start again. Big hugs for you & despite it all hope you manage to have a happy Christmas with your family

tealady

Hi Thre is also a mutual support thread for people suffering with depression.

bigspenda_3

Wow I Feel better already

Thank you all very much

Started to write my life story (good therapy I've been told) get my thoughts on to paper (in a notepad document anyway)

tealady - thankyou I'll take a look at the tread you mentioned

If it sells you'll all get a metion !

MissEyre

Hurrah, we'll look forward to reading it! xxx

NessyNoo_3

Welcome to the board!

I'm a bit of a newbie too! I would suggest dealing with the immediate and cancelling the DDs. This was you won't incur charges with the bank (and at the other end in some cases). Make sure these are set up again in the future. Pay these bills when you get paid. Do you have online banking? It's easy to do this all online- you can even set up the payments so they come out straight away on payday.

barron_hard_up

Hi Mike,

I used to live down in the west country, it's beautiful.

Just right now you will be as sore as can be, because you know what you are up against. The worst feeling in the world is being in your situation without a plan. Get your SOA up on the boards sap and some of the fantastic people here will help, they know because they have done it or are doing it, and nothing beats experience.

I don't know if this suggestion is any good, but could you hand over all management of money and income to your wife? Is she competant with money management?

Have you had your light bulb moment yet? If you have, that's the first step - when you realise that you have to change this situation right now and make decisions that will mean a completely new way of living. I have gone through the stage of buying clothes at charity shops as one way of saving expendature, and many others. Thankfully, I don't need to now. If you make the change now, you will feel better immedoately because you will have made the decision. Get your plan of action organised to change your situation and share it with us, some might well have some good insight you miht not of thought about. Don't be embarrassed, the whole idea of this particular part of the boards is for people like us to help each other, virtually everyone here is working to be free of debt. You will feel so much better when you are a few months into your plan for debt reduction and can see that things are working, that will be a much bigger buzz than spending to gain a quick mental fix. No one will ever criticize you, but they might be very direct. Get yourself a notebook and write down every penny you spend so that you know where your money is and you can tighten up on waste. Good luck, you're on your way.

By the way, get on these boards everyday, it will be great therapy for you and will give a positive input to your reslove. Also, better for your wife to know everything, it will help the trust. Be prepared to catch hell though!!

linniestorm

Welcome Mike and well done on starting to face up things and tackling them. I know in my experience I'm a bit like you, spending to make myself a bit happier for a minute, and sometimes it lasts even less than that! (I think a lot of here are, it must be something buried in a gene or chromosome somewhere!) Interestingly I've recently realised I haven't actually changed that attitude much at all, I've just changed it's focus. Or I'm fooling myself, but I don't much mind for now! My 'spending' is now on my debt. Every little bit I can pay off at any time I do, and it does give me a bit of a thrill to keep seeing those totals dropping, whether it's a tenner or a hundred I manage to pay off it. And the closer I'm getting to 0 the happier about paying bits off I get, to the point where I'm starting to begrudge spending it on traditional 'treats' for myself, probably also not healthy. Perhaps once you get cracking on paying it off you could change focus in a similar way? I think of it as acknowledging my weakness but channeling it in a positive way! Best of luck to you, keep us up to date with how you get on!!

bigspenda_3

Hi all

Hope everyone is having a good chrimbo !

OK, My current SOA

Halifax Bank Overdraft : £2000
Black Horse Finance Loan : £3902 £111 Per Month
Loan From Wifey : £1400 £280 per Month

Loan from Mum : £1000 Pending Repayment
Black Horse Car Finance : £2662 £278 per month
Nicator Finance : £977 £22.70 per month

I'll get the Interest Rates together at somepoint today
(I'm currently in work)

Mike

dancingfairy

Hi. Well done on making a start on your SOA already. You need to be really thorough though. You need to write down everything you spend on eg gas/electric, tv licence, your share of rent, water bills, council tax, food, insurance, car insurance, petrol/bus tickets, entertainment, -Everything - the more honest you are the more people will be able to make suggestions. Even if you are spending more than you are earning - put it all down and then people can make suggestions as to how to make cut backs and other helpful suggestions. Hope this helps.