Compulsive Debtor - help!

bigspenda_3

Hi all

I dont know what to do or where to turn to. I'm hoping someone can offer me some advice before I lose everything.

OK, I admit it - I'm a complusive debtor and have been since I was old enough to earn money.

It's getting to the point where my partner will probably leave me if she finds out that since the last time I confessed.

I've borrowed more money and dug my self into a deeper overdraft which I'm currently over and will ensure the banks hirs me with more charges for paying out DD's at the end of the month.

If I had the guts I'd fess up again but :

1) It's Christams eve and this one thing I dont want to burden here with
2) She suffers from Hyper Mobility and is in constant pain and anxiety

I called the bank this morning to try and reverse £221 in bank charges (unauthorised overdraft fees and subesquent DD payments) but only managed to claw back £56.

I dont get paid until the 6th of the month and between now and then I'm going to be paying out :

£72 Council Tax
£30 Mobile Phone
£10 TV license
£15 Water Rates

Why wont the bank help me ?

Surely it's best all round if they pay all the charges back to cover these outgoings ?

I even told them that I fully intend to pay this OD by May 2009
by which time other debts will have cleared giving me more money to allocate on clearing the OD.

I explained that by the end of the month they'll be charging me at least £120
more and that surely this would only deteriorate the situation.

They wouldnt help and said that if I wanted to speak to anyone else (e.g. bank manager) they would repeat the same "sorry sir but we cant help you"

I'm a complete idiot (I frequently call myself worse things) and a coward to boot.

I'd go to a debtors Anonymous meeting but the nearest to me is in Bristol

I got a loan to cover the overdraft but as soon as I got it I was planning on what I would spend it on - anything that woul make me happy even for a breif moment.

If anyone can offer any advice, help, any light at the end of the tunnel please let me know

Thanks
Mike

MissEyre

Hi Mike, welcome. Congratulations on realising that you can't go on like this.

The reason that the banks won't help you is because their interest in you is about how much money they can make from you, not how much you are struggling. Unfair but true, I'm afraid.

I's sure we can help you work out a plan of action, but we need some info from you first-if you could post a Statement of Affairs (there is a sticky by Southern Scouser at the top of the page which gives more information about this) so we can see exactly what you owe, what they interest rates are and how much you pay each month, and all your income, bills etc, we can see how much you have left over each month (if anything).

Give it a go when you're ready, and you will get some brilliant advice!

As for telling your other half, I can't help you with that, but a lot of the folk here have been in very similar situations, so I'm sure someone will be along soon.

hitback

Hi

You could contact CCCS or Debtline for advice? Dealing with banks to claim back charges is like banging your head against a wall! Perhaps you could go into the branch and talk to someone face to face as a short term solution? The first thing you should do is stop borrowing money to pay off what you owe, and work out a budget plan which you can realistically stick to! Cut up all your credit cards and move your bank account to an account which does not offer an overdraft facility. Just a couple of suggestions, but do try and call Debtline or CCCS for advice , I think they are open again on Thurs. Good Luck!

findingmyownway

Welcome to the boards. There tons of support from the regulars on here and im damn sure there will be plenty more newbies as the xmas financial hangovers kick in. So the biggest thing to remember is YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

As MissEyre said, have a look at the guide for 1st time posters and start getting together an SOA which includes ALL you income, outgoing and debts (with APRs).

How do you intend to pay the debt by May? Do you have a plan for this?

CRANKY40

Cancel your direct debits. You can pay them by cheque/over the phone when you get paid. At least that will be one less lot of bank charges - he bank isn't going to pay them anyway, so you may as well get there first.

Sea78

HI welcome to the board - I would second contacting CCCS or similar for advice. However, do you think you are really ready to stop debting? Would it be worth perhaps going to your GP and asking for counselling about the spending?

I could be completely wrong and if so please forgive me! but it sounds like although things are reaching crisis point you have yet to have your lightbulb moment where you absolutely in your heart realise it can't go on and you will clear the debt.

Sea xxxxx

bigspenda_3

Hi all

Thanks for the replies I'll go and run through the sticky and get my details up ASAP

misseyre - thanks I'll get that sorted and post it as soon as possible


hitman -
I was on a DMP with CCCS until May 2005 until I broke the agreement - I live 35 milesaway from work and needed to replace my Car
(due to the hours I work public transport wasnt viable)

findingmyownway -
has this planned for a while -
My other half took out a loan after I messed up the CCCS dmp which wil paid off in May this is a payment of £278 per month

I intend to split this between paying off the overdraft and loan.
At the end of 2008 I finish paying for the car which is another £280 per month.

Again This will be put into paying off the laon and over draft as well going towards "us" rather than "me" so we can afford to get stuff we need rather than what I need.

Crank40 -
Isnt it too late to do this ? surely the DD process will have started ?
(Im not sure how long it takes to ask for the money then get it via DD)

More details to follow

kittiej

I think it depends on your bank.

One of my banks will cancel a DD as long as you contact them before 8pm ON the day it is due to go out.

My other bank needs to know one or two days in advance.

bigspenda_3

Sea78 wrote: »

HI welcome to the board - I would second contacting CCCS or similar for advice. However, do you think you are really ready to stop debting? Would it be worth perhaps going to your GP and asking for counselling about the spending?

I could be completely wrong and if so please forgive me! but it sounds like although things are reaching crisis point you have yet to have your lightbulb moment where you absolutely in your heart realise it can't go on and you will clear the debt.

Sea xxxxx

Hi Sea,

I'm already on a course of fluoxitine (40mg daily)
I have had counselling via a work scheme but he didnt seem to understand it
I find that people dont realise how poerful maney is and like a drug / alcohol how addictive it can be.

I think I spend because of depression but conveying this to my GP is difficult.
I have been depressed since my early teens but cant seem to convey just how much it affects someone

It's as if becasue there is no drug involved then it's not percieved as an addiction.

I've read books - I got Martin's book a few months back and another book

Wrong topic I know, I'll get this on paper and seek NHS counselling.

Thanks to you all for your replies and no matter what the circumstance have a happy christmans and debt reduction to debt free year

mrsmortenharket

My friend has the same problem as you Mike (((hugs)))

She has been diagnosed with bipolar. Spending money is a sign on bopolar.

Best wishes to you

Lisa x

Sea78

bigspenda wrote: »

Hi Sea,

I'm already on a course of fluoxitine (40mg daily)
I have had counselling via a work scheme but he didnt seem to understand it
I find that people dont realise how poerful maney is and like a drug / alcohol how addictive it can be.

I think I spend because of depression but conveying this to my GP is difficult.
I have been depressed since my early teens but cant seem to convey just how much it affects someone

It's as if becasue there is no drug involved then it's not percieved as an addiction.

I've read books - I got Martin's book a few months back and another book

Wrong topic I know, I'll get this on paper and seek NHS counselling.

Thanks to you all for your replies and no matter what the circumstance have a happy christmans and debt reduction to debt free year

Big hugs to you - it definitely sounds like you need mroe help than just being given the prozac - I too am on the same dosage and would completely agree that spending is a release almost of the depression and just takes you out of it for the time you are spending. Look forward to hearing more from you.

I would ring CCCS come Thursday - and also get an app with your dr - perhaps once you have both of these things in place, you'll then be able to tell your OH from a position of look, I have messed up again but this is what I've done to sort it and make it better. If need be, print off this thread and show it?

I hope you have a lovely Christmas - there is NOTHING to be done tomorrow so just try to enjoy it and remember - you have taken the first steps to rectifying the situation. this will be the last Christmas you feel like this.

Sea xxxx