Gifts - do I have to give them back legally

X2567843

I am wondering if you could please clarify some information on the legalities of giving back gifts at the end of a relationship and money spent by the third party asking for it back. 

I have just ended a relationship.  We did not co-habit. He is asking for items back such as special occasion and Christmas gifts.  He is also stating that he paid towards holidays and ran up debt on his credit card for which he is asking me for the money back. 

He is saying that as he has receipts for the gifts he can prove that he bought them and a court will force me to give back these items.  

Can you give me some information on where I stand legally? 

I am a single parent with young children, living on a very low wage and don’t have any disposable income.  This was all known to my ex when we started dating.  My ex partner has a very well paid job, lives at home with his parent and has no dependants.  He has a huge amount of disposable income and chose to spend money without a worry but is now asking me to pay him back as I ended the relationship.  For example he paid towards a holiday but because the relationship ended he didn’t come along so now he is asking for the money that he put into the holiday back even though I didn’t stop him from being able to go on the holiday.  He has spent lots of money on living a nice life whilst with me on credit cards but is claiming that it was all for my benefit and is stating that I have to pay him back. He paid money into a new car for me and I’ve just sold it and given him what he put into the car at today’s market value.  He is stating that I have to give him the full amount that he originally put into the car.  We’ve both lost money on the sale, however he’s bullying me and threatening me that I owe him the full amount that he originally put into the car.  He knew that prior to meeting him I lived a very frugal lifestyle, however he never stated that him spending this money in the relationship had conditions to it.  He’s never leant me money.  

I can prove Christmas presents and other special occasions where I bought gifts, track days, paid for a weekend break etc so to me it seems a court will see this as all tit for tat petty arguing.  

He is also claiming I have items of his in my possession that I don’t have.  How do I prove that I don’t have these items to a court? 

If he takes me to court where do I stand please? 

Thank you for your help in advance. 

McKneff

Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier. 
A gift is a given thing, they belong to you and cannot be taken back. 
If you've given him money towards what he paid into the car, without a written agreement that it was a loan there was no need to have paid him anything. 

Tell him to do his best to take you on, a solicitor would laugh at him. 

Go to the police and complain he is harrasing and bullying you and are afraid and then  get an injunction against him.

RAS

Not a cat in hell's chance he'd make this stick. 

My guess is that if you'd refused to have gone on the holiday, he'd be chasing you to repay. Store all the messages and ignore unless he sends a letter before action. If that happens, you need to refuse on the grounds that these were gifts.

He doesn't need a lawyer to make a claim, but you do need to defend the case, or get a CCJ by default. Simply write to the court and advise these were gifts from an affluent suitor. End of.

And be careful of men with lots of money in the future. Some expect to buy you.

If he makes any other type of threat, or is abusive in the messages, report him for harassment.

elsien

Question already asked and answered.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6486130/gifts-do-i-have-to-give-them-back-legally#latest

OP if you have further questions you are better off sticking to the one thread. 

X2567843

McKneff said:

Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier. 
A gift is a given thing, they belong to you and cannot be taken back. 
If you've given him money towards what he paid into the car, without a written agreement that it was a loan there was no need to have paid him anything. 

Tell him to do his best to take you on, a solicitor would laugh at him. 

Go to the police and complain he is harrasing and bullying you and are afraid and then  get an injunction against him.

Thank you I have a breech of Police appointment booked for him to collect his bits.  He dumped so much stuff at mine as he had no where to store it.  I’m left lumbered with it all.  I feel that he love bombed me and is now trying to make conditions to the relationship.  He’s extremely bitter and seems hell bent on ruining me.  

X2567843

RAS said:

Not a cat in hell's chance he'd make this stick. 

My guess is that if you'd refused to have gone on the holiday, he'd be chasing you to repay. Store all the messages and ignore unless he sends a letter before action. If that happens, you need to refuse on the grounds that these were gifts.

He doesn't need a lawyer to make a claim, but you do need to defend the case, or get a CCJ by default. Simply write to the court and advise these were gifts from an affluent suitor. End of.

And be careful of men with lots of money in the future. Some expect to buy you.

If he makes any other type of threat, or is abusive in the messages, report him for harassment.

This is fantastic advice.  Thank you for your help.  I appreciate I did a similar post previously however I had additional information.  He’s putting so much pressure on me and getting to me through my friends.  Getting them to forward on lists to me especially itemising money he’s spent and trying to make me accountable for it.  Absolutely I’ve learnt my lesson to never allow a man to buy me gifts again because when the relationship ends he’s clearly trying to add conditions to it.  

elsien

X2567843 said:

RAS said:

Not a cat in hell's chance he'd make this stick. 

My guess is that if you'd refused to have gone on the holiday, he'd be chasing you to repay. Store all the messages and ignore unless he sends a letter before action. If that happens, you need to refuse on the grounds that these were gifts.

He doesn't need a lawyer to make a claim, but you do need to defend the case, or get a CCJ by default. Simply write to the court and advise these were gifts from an affluent suitor. End of.

And be careful of men with lots of money in the future. Some expect to buy you.

If he makes any other type of threat, or is abusive in the messages, report him for harassment.

This is fantastic advice.  Thank you for your help.  I appreciate I did a similar post previously however I had additional information.  He’s putting so much pressure on me and getting to me through my friends.  Getting them to forward on lists to me especially itemising money he’s spent and trying to make me accountable for it.  Absolutely I’ve learnt my lesson to never allow a man to buy me gifts again because when the relationship ends he’s clearly trying to add conditions to it.  

I do hope that your  friends are telling him to do one? 

X2567843

elsien said:

X2567843 said:

RAS said:

Not a cat in hell's chance he'd make this stick. 

My guess is that if you'd refused to have gone on the holiday, he'd be chasing you to repay. Store all the messages and ignore unless he sends a letter before action. If that happens, you need to refuse on the grounds that these were gifts.

He doesn't need a lawyer to make a claim, but you do need to defend the case, or get a CCJ by default. Simply write to the court and advise these were gifts from an affluent suitor. End of.

And be careful of men with lots of money in the future. Some expect to buy you.

If he makes any other type of threat, or is abusive in the messages, report him for harassment.

This is fantastic advice.  Thank you for your help.  I appreciate I did a similar post previously however I had additional information.  He’s putting so much pressure on me and getting to me through my friends.  Getting them to forward on lists to me especially itemising money he’s spent and trying to make me accountable for it.  Absolutely I’ve learnt my lesson to never allow a man to buy me gifts again because when the relationship ends he’s clearly trying to add conditions to it.  

I do hope that your  friends are telling him to do one? 

No.  My friend is 20 years older than me and is refusing to block him.  Says she doesn’t have an issue with him and feels sorry for him.  I’ve told her I am not interested in receiving these lists of items and I don’t want any further messages forwarded onto me, neither do I want to know what he’s saying to her.  I saw her flicking through the messages and they’re clearly having long, detailed conversations.  I feel like I don’t trust her anymore and need to end the friendship.  She’s just saying she’s trying to be mediator but she doesn’t need to be.  She doesn’t need to get involved.  I’ve told her this so many times. 

RAS

In which case stop seeing the friend and block her. She's not mediating, she's supporting him.

ProseccoGirl

Doesn't sound like your friend is being much of a friend TO YOU at all.   

As others have already said, a gift is a gift, and can't be claimed (or demanded) back, so he'll get nowhere with his demands, legally.

His only hope is to wear you down into relenting and giving him what he wants.    

So it's up to you to stand your ground, stay strong, and tell him to Jog on.    Good luck.