Gifts - do I have to give them back legally

elsien

tacpot12 said:

I think that your boyfriend might tell any court that he bought these items for you and gave them to you in the expectation that he would be moving in with you at some point in the future. If he does so, I think a court would think that a fair settlement would be for you to keep some items and to give him some of them back. How many items you have to give back might depend on how much each item cost, and what condition it is in now (which will affect its value). 

You might also use any knowledge you have of whether he already has a fridge/freezer or hoover and whether he has somewhere where I might be able to use the garden furniture, to negotiate with him. It would be better to come to an agreement that you can both accept than fight over this and have it escalate. If he does want to go to court, it will help you if you have made sensible and fair offers as to how to give him something back, even if you maintain that they were actually gifts. 

Does seem quite a lot of speculation to me. No evidence whatsoever that they were bought in anticipation of moving in. Sorry but I think you’re making that up as you go along.

LightFlare

For the sake of it why not offer to let him have the garden furniture and you keep the fridge and hoover.

After all - the hoover and fridge are replacements for something you already had whereas the furniture you didn’t - so you could do without that - plus you said he bought it as he had nowhere to sit (so not a gift imo)

Sometimes compromising is the best way to resolve the issue.

Only you know how much hassle and stress this will/could cause you

X2567843

swingaloo said:

I think a lot depends on the relationship you had. If you had been a couple for a long time and were planning a future together and then decided to split it may be fair to agree to split the things between you.
On the other hand if you had been seeing each other for only a few months and he had spoiled you rotten then once he had done that you dump him that would be different. He may feel used.

You say he 'splashed the cash without a second thought' but perhaps he thought you would be long term.

I think you should ask yourself how you would feel if it were the other way round.

It was not a couple of months.  It was his behaviour that caused the split.  I treated him on birthday / Christmas so it wasn’t all take, take, take. I think in hindsight he tried to buy me with gifts and once the mask fell off he couldn’t keep up the pretence.  I think he thought that by buying me gifts that excused his behaviour. 

X2567843

Spendless said:

How much would it be for him to take you through the court? Because the price of a now 2nd hand fridge freezer, a hoover and some garden furniture wouldn't be worth it I'd have thought. 

I would just ignore for now. 

Spendless said:

How much would it be for him to take you through the court? Because the price of a now 2nd hand fridge freezer, a hoover and some garden furniture wouldn't be worth it I'd have thought. 

I would just ignore for now. 

Well this is it, with use, things depreciate with time.  So perhaps let him proceed with the court way and see how far it gets him.  

Hoenir

tacpot12 said:

I think that your boyfriend might tell any court that he bought these items for you and gave them to you in the expectation that he would be moving in with you at some point in the future. If he does so, I think a court would think that a fair settlement would be for you to keep some items and to give him some of them back. How many items you have to give back might depend on how much each item cost, and what condition it is in now (which will affect its value). 

You might also use any knowledge you have of whether he already has a fridge/freezer or hoover and whether he has somewhere where I might be able to use the garden furniture, to negotiate with him. It would be better to come to an agreement that you can both accept than fight over this and have it escalate. If he does want to go to court, it will help you if you have made sensible and fair offers as to how to give him something back, even if you maintain that they were actually gifts. 

Courts are places to settle legal disputes. Not resolve petty domestic arguments. A judge would give short shrift to their valuable time being used in such a manner. 

tealady

I would write to him saying he can have them all and that they must be collected by a certain date. Make sure you agree on a date and time.
Then arrange to have mates there with you when he does.
By being petty over this stuff it's a way of controlling you IMO.
You can pick up 2nd hand stuff from charity shops, use a brush instead of a vac. Or put a shout out on your local FB or Olio groups.
Then block all contact., and smile smugly as it will cost him to transport stuff away.

RAS

Sounds like love bombing? 

You may need to decide if having the items is worth the hassle from him and his mother, rather than whether they were gifts.

See if you can get replacements from freegle, a local FB group etc. Not least as you'd want somewhere to put any frozen stuff if you give the one he bought back.

Then give him a week to remove them, dumping them outside if possible, cover by a waterproof tarp. 

Exodi

Personally, I think things like a fridge freezer, hoover, furniture, etc are quite significant and not things one might usually consider as gifts.

To be honest, I think he's being just as petty by requesting all of this stuff back after the break up, as the OP is by refusing to return anything after they dumped him.

If the OP felt "he tried to buy me with gifts", then the OP's partner may have felt used that they continued to accept them feeling this.

Hoenir said:

tacpot12 said:

I think that your boyfriend might tell any court that he bought these items for you and gave them to you in the expectation that he would be moving in with you at some point in the future. If he does so, I think a court would think that a fair settlement would be for you to keep some items and to give him some of them back. How many items you have to give back might depend on how much each item cost, and what condition it is in now (which will affect its value). 

You might also use any knowledge you have of whether he already has a fridge/freezer or hoover and whether he has somewhere where I might be able to use the garden furniture, to negotiate with him. It would be better to come to an agreement that you can both accept than fight over this and have it escalate. If he does want to go to court, it will help you if you have made sensible and fair offers as to how to give him something back, even if you maintain that they were actually gifts. 

Courts are places to settle legal disputes. Not resolve petty domestic arguments. A judge would give short shrift to their valuable time being used in such a manner.

Agreed, but neither party is willing to compromise.

swingaloo said:

I think you should ask yourself how you would feel if it were the other way round.

This thread may well be very different had it been the other way round, but as is usually said, we can only work on the information we are provided. Personally, I just wouldn't conclude that this is a slam dunk for the OP.

tightauldgit

The legal position is 'a gift is a gift, no takesies backsies' and honestly a judge isn't really going to be interested in hearing an ex-bf moaning that he bought you a hoover and now he wants it back. 

Whether you feel like you should compromise with them and give them some of the stuff back is up to you really but I wouldn't listen to threats of taking you to court over a second hand Henry.

ETA: If you have messages from him explicitly calling them gifts and asking for them back then I think you're in an even more golden position.

LightFlare

The garden furniture is the most "contentious" item imo

OP states that HE bought it as HE had nowhere to sit -- that doesn't sound like a gift