Budget with me one week at a time

DFB35

I want to make a pledge to myself to budget properly for Christmas next year. In theory I have been allocating money to save but this money gets dipped into several times over the year. Then built back up then dipped into again…
Also need to allocate proper social budgets, birthdays, holidays that sort of thing. 

Everytime I made spreadsheets it gets over complicated. The way we manage money with my husband is also over complicated, but I can’t even budget my wage left overs… so perhaps that’s for the best that he keeps his wage left over separate. At the very least the way we allocate 1,700 each into a joint pot all our bills and debt commitments are covered. And the 400/500 food is mostly always enough. 

So first step is to budget the left over wage money properly…

RelievedSheff

Early in the new year why don't you both have a sit down and write down all of your incomings and outgoings and set a proper and realistic budget?

Involve the kids. The earlier they get involved with money management the better and it will set them up for the future. It might also make them think twice about asking for "going out" money if they can see the family budget written down in black and white.

Spendless

Hi, just read your diary from the start. I did dip in a few weeks ago when I was away during your dilemma about selling the handbag (you did the right thing) but hadn't kept up.

I've had my own diary on here for the last 2 years and for the first 15 months of it, I don't think we paid back anything above the min in fact we might have added to the debt. At one point I considered abandoning it. The thing that stopped me is I once had a diary on here years earlier when we'd paid off debt and it was meant  to keep me on the straight and narrow - I stopped posting early on in it and  obviously it didn't work! What changed for me was at the beginning of the year I got my DH on board with it all. He was aware but not really looking at head-on tackling. We disagreed about the right approach - he wished to take from savings we had, my point was he'd been dipping in for years and they weren't being replaced, if we continued we'd be looking at nothing left. Our own compromise was to get the debt on 0% as much as possible. The bit that couldn't be was borrowed from our savings and is being paid back via SO. What I'm saying here is that you both need to be reading from the same page regardless of which of you is paying what back, it also has to be achievable for the person allocated to make the repayments. The debt repayment falls to my DH in our case, as I have been in and out of work for the past few years including last week when I lost my latest job.   We still aren't perfect, but the lines of communication are far more open nowadays than it used to be. We have a cashback CC for instances like the meal you talk of but I'm aware that sometimes this is a 'post the bill to the future cos we don't have the funds right now'. However we've kept on top of it and have always cleared in full. Having a monthly chat about it has helped as has creating a spreadsheet. Currently I need to think how we are def going to pay our DD's student rent and her living expenses (her loan already goes towards her rent but doesn't cover it) as this was coming from my wages. That  conversation has started but not totally concluded yet but it's out in the open because we started discussing together.

 Moving onto your kids. Since your DD has her partner live with you do they contribute/contribute enough? I'm guessing they either work or are f-time students? I know you said they buy their own food but with ever rising grocery costs do you need a more formal arrangement. Son you''ve said is a teen at school with a gf. Are we talking a 13yo when it's cute but perhaps limit the cash given and suggest cheaper dates  eg when there's offers at the cinema or are we talking a 17yo at sixth form who could possibly look for a p-time job?

Def look to spread the cost of Christmas. Back in the 90s I was told one Jan that my job was at risk in Dec of that year. On my own with a mortgage and bills and quite a few people I bought Christmas presents for I was determined I wasn't going to face a problem, so I saved loyalty points and bought items on offer etc and that has lived with me since. Hence when I lost my job last week, I only have 2 things left to get and the majority of presents is done.

You can do this, honestly. Good luck.  

DFB35

Thank you so much for your replies and for checking in Xx

Spendless sounds very tough re your DD university. I can relate, my DD moved back home in her last year of uni to save costs (she was lucky she could commute to uni). Contributing to student loans is tough.  Both her and her boyfriend are struggling to get jobs in the field they studied in so now both getting hospitality jobs (one down one to go). I have been very strict with them as due to space issues they cannot stay indefinitely so I want them to save their wages towards moving out. My son is 15, and he’s already been taking about getting a job when he is a bit older

I have been tinkering with my budgets today. From the mutual contributions we can save £20 a month towards next Christmas (so £240). Plus if I pledge the two council free months it be another £400, all this should cover both Christmas and family birthdays. Now my task is not to dip into it!!

From my personal account I pledge £50 a month, this is also towards Christmas/birthdays and social funds. So can be dipped into when we have unforeseen meals etc. 

For my sons pocket money I will take £10 a week out of my £100 a week spends. This I will look at next as maybe can shave a bit more off. I’m sure some weeks I don’t spend anything. 

So the unbudgeted items are clothes and other expenses. Personally I have more than enough clothes. Perhaps a challenge of buying NO clothes for a year?

Holidays will have to be budgeted out of the bonus but both me and husband want to pay off credit card with vast majority of the bonuses. I do hope we get them this year, I know it’s lucky position to be in. They are not guaranteed though. I will know in January. 

Spendless

Funding a Uni student can be a killer. We've now been doing this continuously since 2018. With the benefit of hindsight what I should have done is when I first returned to f-time work just as son had taken his GCSEs is saved every penny towards these costs, instead I can't say what I did with my wages - it just got frittered away. At the point the job finished as it lost it's contract, my DS had just done his first term at Uni  my DD was ill with her MH and me not in a position to work as needed to support her. The pandemic further got in the way as I then lost my next job due to that! 

 I thought at max we would fund one child at a time for the duration of a standard degree as I have a 3 year gap between my son and daughter. Instead  DS ended up on a foundation first cos he went to a sixth form I'd not been keen on him attending, spo ended up with a year funding both with DS announcing his engagement at the same time and DD deciding last minute to take an offer which didn't attract funding  (drama student) followed by son graduating then marrying a year later and DD still not getting into drama school and instead taking another foundation (funded this time) equiv of 9 years  studying when there should have only been 6! So yes, if you get your finances under control in the next few years you'll be in a better place should your DS wish to pursue Higher Education.

15 can be a tricky age to find work as stricter child employment laws apply than once they've finished GCSEs. It can also depend on area. My DD struggled to find something at 17 because so many local places wanted 18+ when they weren't subject to restrictions. I recently looked up maccys jobs for someone's teen but though the company says 16+,  the vacancies in our area wanted 18+ due to the night shifts they would be given, whereas other areas weren't applying this age restriction.  I would echo a previous suggestion on here to ask your DH about him also giving DS £5 a week and you the same. You said you still had some Christmas presents left to buy - any room in the budget to add a cinema or coffee shop gift card to him? That would then stretch his pocket money further after Christmas. 

Re clothes - what my DD has decided on - she is both a shop and clothes a holic - is that she will sell her unwanted clothes (she's going down a route of Vinted and car-boot) and that she will only use money raised from selling items to replace them. 

If you're concerned that you'll dip into money you're saving towards Christmas/Birthdays then what would work best for you, a diff bank account, one where you can label what separate money is for, a spreadsheet? Some people do cash stuffing - that's when they have their money out in cash and usually put it in a ring binder though negatives of that could be safety and temptation to dip in too great. It's whatever method works best for you.

Fingers crossed for your bonus.  

DFB35

I was actually thinking about cash stuffing… or maybe a tin you cannot open. Thank you for your reply I will ponder. 

I have also found out I need to have a hysterectomy, this will be the end of a very long and painful journey with fibroids and other unpleasant stuff. I have my surgery consultation on 3 of January! I’m thinking that I will not re do my nails and just let the gels grow out (there’s already been 2 weeks growth). You cannot have fake nails for surgery as it interferes with the oxygen monitor. I will also not be keeping up with my lashes maintenance. I have an appointment next week which will get me through the festive period looking pretty but after that I will not replace them. I suppose what I’m trying so say I will use this time to save on the beauty upkeep while I wait for my surgery and while I’m in recovery. My consultant wanted me to have it earlier rather than later so hopefully February time (fingers crossed). 

I will however keep my hair appointment on 6th of January as I’m loving my shorter hair. This is a relief as means I’m not tempted to spend a lot to have my extensions put back in. 

DFB35

There are some very inspiring cash stuffing videos on tik tok

RelievedSheff

Hope your operation goes smoothly. 

DFB35

I want to update my totals. 

Week 1 - £8.34
Week 2 - now here’s weird thing I still have £100 in current account, because I spent on credit cards again (the meal and some other bits for my daughters graduation. And then paid things off using savings. I have now only 100 left in my savings).  I will add this £100 into savings 

Week 3 - £100
Week 4 - £100

Beauty pot - £75
Sons lunches - £30 (he still has £6 on account)
Food - £205 (two shops left)
Christmas - £250 (this gone up as my parent gave me back money they owed)

Personal savings - £200 (see above)

Amex and FD credits cards are clear. 

Sainsbury -£6800
Nationwide - £3969

DFB35

Updating my totals. I know it’s super super boring to read but it’s very helpful to me as making me stay accountable for every £1

Week 1 - £8.34 (paid towards CC)
Week 2 - £100 (now in savings but took out of savings more see previous posts)

Week 3 - £50 - no more expensive socials 
Week 4 - £100

Beauty pot - £35 - getting my lashes done today 
Sons lunches - £20
Food - £205 (two shops left)
Christmas - £250 (this will be given to kids as monetary presents in addition to stocking filler). All Christmas presents are done. 

Personal savings - £200 (see above)