Flying solo

twiggy86

Well Go Ape was great fun! Well for me anyway... bf struggled a bit more with the heights but he did it! We did end up going for dinner at a pub beforehand though - was my turn to pay. However, didn't have to pay for parking whilst there (machine at barrier said £13.50 for a couple of hours but before I could pay the barrier lifted!) I did pay for £5 for parking during the day though whilst I was in town for parkour and then meeting my mum, aunt and uncle. I did manage to give my mum the money that I needed to pay into the bank - so she will use the cash and has transferred to my account, so now everything is back where it should be! 

Yesterday me and bf did a food shop, again my turn to pay, but other than that it was a quiet day at home! I should have spent some of the time working on my crochet present but I'm now at the sewing together point so I procrastinated on that! I have until Friday to get the present finished so really must get it done! I did manage to dye my hair over the weekend, so at least that job is ticked off! 

Bf is struggling slightly at the moment - his dad has a terminal brain tumour and has an appointment today to find out the results of the latest MRI. He's already out-lasted the original time frame that he was given, but that doesn't make it any easier. It's difficult to know how best to support him, as I can't even imagine losing one of my parents. 

Today's bits and bobs include....

• Make lunch to take to work 
• Update spreadsheet 
• Shuffle some money to correct pots
• Make small CC payment 
• Work on crochet project at lunch
• Sort out tea towels - have fair too many and drawer is getting difficult to close! 
• Dinner from stores 

twiggy86

Ok, I've been feeling like my weekend was more spendy that I gave accountability for - partially because some was paid for in advance and some came from pots. So I need to do a breakdown so that I can fully see the picture!!! 

Friday

• £48.50 - present for nephew, present for "nephew" (i.e. best mate's son!) and card for bf's daughter - money came from gift pot
• £15 - two boxes of hair dye - from "beauty" pot
• £13 - groceries - food pot

Saturday 

• £5 - parking in town - personal spends
• £10 - parkour class - came from fitness pot and booked earlier in the week 
• £42 - dinner - personal spends (bf bought us both a drink)
• £63 - tickets for Go Ape - booked last month from personal spends (bf bought us some "silly souvenirs"!) 
• £2 - drink after Go Ape as I was really thirsty and hadn't thought to take a drink - personal spends

Sunday

• £48 - groceries - from food pot (my turn to pay)

TOTAL £246.50!!! 

Oh wow! That seems like a crazy amount! It makes me 1) question if I am too generous with my personal spends money (something for me to think about); and 2) thankful that I separate out my budget and have separate pots!

It does also make it sound like I am too generous with bf - however it just fell that way that it was the date night I organised, my turn to pay for dinner and my turn to pay for groceries. We don't necessarily track how much each one spends, but we do take it in turns - so sometimes it might cost me more but others less, so believe it is fair overall! And he had offered me money towards the tickets - slightly pleased I didn't accept as there was points he was NOT having fun as was definitely more my type of thing!

I have £53 left in my personal spends and £77 in my groceries to last until payday on 31 October. Personal spends may get tight but should be fine on groceries - as will be bf's turn next time we go, although I do need to grab some bread today to make sure we have enough to make lunches tomorrow (forgot to get any yesterday).  

Moneywhizz

Would it work for you to have some joint pots that you both pay the same amount into. You could have one for food, entertainment and eating out. It would probably be fairer and would also help you to keep track of how much you are spending each month on going out. Obviously only to cover the things you do together, not your own personal activities. 

twiggy86

It's definitely an idea to suggest @Moneywhizz - not sure bf would go for it at this stage as he is much more "free" with his money! I'm slowly trying to work on him and the benefit of budgeting! Also, I'm not sure at what stage in a relationship that you're meant to have joint accounts etc - didn't happen with the ex as I'm not sure I would have trusted him!!! 

twiggy86

It was fairly positive news last night about bf's dad! Tumour has grown so will be another round of chemo but bf said he thinks he'll now last until April - not sure if hospital gave his dad a timeline, but given that he's still here and doing reasonably well when he was told in Feb that he had 3-6 months! 

I had a nice surprise when I checked my account this morning as had received £48.78 from my water company! Not sure what that's for as I thought my last statement showed that everything was pretty much evens! However, that has been shuffled to the CC (well rounded up to £50!) Meaning the amount left to clear before the end of November (i.e. when the interest free period ends) is now at £675 - still not sure this is doable, but I have £100 set aside for an extra CC payment if I don't need it for other things. So far this month I have paid £510 off the CCs, although had interest of £40 added to one (but now nothing attracts any interest), so a difference of £470. Obviously this is split across a number of CCs so can't throw everything at the £675 next month, which would mean it is possible to clear it! However definitely feels nice knocking off some of these debts - but my other CCs have balances of £2,800 and £6,250 so will take a while until the next one is gone!!! 

Today's bits and bobs...

• Make lunch to take to work 
• Update spreadsheet 
• Make CC payment 
• Claim £2.28 from TCB
• Snap some receipts  
• Work on crochet present 
• Dinner from stores 

Moneywhizz

You are right to be cautious about a joint account with someone you haven't known too long especially if they are not on the same page as you about budgeting. It is still something you could think about though by using cash. I know it is not very popular these days but if you both put a weekly amount in cash it would be spent on food and entertainment that week so not as if lots of money would be lying around. It is a great way to put a limit on how much you spend on things and make sure you are both contributing equally. It sounds like you are paying for more things but it is hard to know really if it is an equal split as food and entertainment can very a lot from week to week. 

Purplelady65

Have you thought about opening a joint Starling account? It has transformed how I manage my money. Just to keep the figures simple you could each put in say £300 a month then split into three pots e.g food £200 entertainment £200 bills £200. You can set up virtual cards for each pot or what I do is have a ‘float’ of £300 not allocated to a pot. Then if I spent £70 at the supermarket I’d then withdraw £70 from the food pot to bring the float back up to £300. It also makes it really easy to track spending in different categories. 

twiggy86

Thanks for your suggestions @Moneywhizz and @Purplelady65 - definitely things for me to think about. I think on the whole it works out fairly evens - but I certainly see it as "fair". I.e. we take it in turns and so it doesn't all fall on me as it did with ex. Yes the end amounts might be different but it is a balanced approach, if that makes sense. However, maybe in a couple of months time (when I've worked on his budgeting a bit more!) we can discuss a different approach. 

Had a quiet night last night and managed to make some progress with my crochet horse - was panicking that I wasn't going to get it done in time but certain that I will now! On the topic of crochet... I'm actually going to my stitch night tomorrow night (free event) and am going to pull out an abandoned project as decided a new route forward with it (something had gone wrong but I've found a way to solve the problem, although that does mean having to pull out some of what I've done!) It's a scrappy project so no cost and uses up what I already have! 

I bought my first Xmas present yesterday! Well it was a fudge advent calendar for bf. I have started making a list of possible present ideas - not very complete at the moment!!! Although bf asked me to crochet him a pair of socks last night - never made socks for a guy! I was planning to make him a hat (my standard "male" gift) so I'll have a look for a pattern for socks! 

Today's bits and bobs...

• Make lunch to take to work 
• Update spreadsheet (to reflect a NSD yesterday)
• Start looking at budget for November - also getting ahead re Xmas, am going to start Dec budget 
• Speak to bf about what money he is giving me on Friday (his pay day) 
• Read latest MSE email 
• Work on crochet present at lunch 
• Pay lowest amount at acro 
• "Dinner" from stores (i.e. probably just some toast!) 

twiggy86

Great fun at acro last night but oh my word I was tired this morning! Really struggled to get moving, which is not normally like me! The lingering in bed meant I didn't have time to make lunch so bought a meal deal in tesco - that't the third one this month after being so consistent about taking my lunch with me! 

Tonight I have my stitch night (i.e. bunch of knitters, crocheters etc meet and chat) - it's in the town near where I work so I won't bother going home first. I have pulled out my old project, so I'm going to work on that. Also bought the horse I need to finalise as I'm struggling on one little bit so hoping someone tonight can help me! I wasn't organised enough to bring extra food with me today, so will probably treat myself to some food there. "Fun money" is running very low though and I'm out on Saturday evening for dinner with friends as well. Looking like I may need to re-allocate some of the grocery budget and/or utilise the buffer in that account. Plus side, absolutely no way any of this would go on CC! 

Spoke to bf and we have agreed how much he is contributing this month. He'll pay me a certain amount and then we'll "split" the groceries. He gets paid tomorrow so that's why I wanted to have the conversation now, even though I'm not paid for another week (and the new "budget month" will start then). 

My little list for today... 

• Update spreadsheet 
• Finalise November budget (may be a couple of further minor tweaks)
• Don't go home after work (saves petrol!) 
• Dig out old abandoned, scrappy project
• Print pattern at work 
• Park for free if possible
• Dinner out but be mindful of spending 

twiggy86

The bad... overspent last night! I did buy myself dinner and two soft drinks - but even soft drinks cost a ridiculous amount nowadays! This means I have had to re-allocate £40 from my groceries to my personal pot for now to give me a little bit to last to the end of the month. It is bf's turn to pay for the next "big shop", although I do need to grab some milk and bread on my way home from work today. I think I'm going out for dinner with friends tomorrow night, so may need to "steal" some more from somewhere (groceries, buffer or £100 still left set aside for a CC overpayment). So it's not that I can't make it work - it's just very rare that I go over my budgeted amount. 

The good... bf has booked for us to stay in a shepherds hut next weekend! He's mentioned it a few times and I did say to him last night that I'm sorry if I've seemed unappreciative, but actually it's because I'm uncomfortable/ awkward with someone wanting to spend money on me (and me not the effectively pay for it "through the back door"). He said I can contribute if that makes me happier but I can't afford to this month (well I could but not if I want to clear the CC) - so I won't be paying anything for the cost but may buy us dinner. Anyway, very much looking forward to that! 

Today's list of bits and pieces... 

• Make lunch to take to work 
• Load of washing 
• Update spreadsheet
• Snap some receipts 
• Pop to shop for a couple of bits
• Hang washing on airer
• Bf buying us pizza for dinner - it was his daughter's birthday on Tuesday so he's treating her really!