Flying solo

twiggy86

Thanks @kayannie - I think I should see him, but my concerns are ex asking for money towards the vets bills and upsetting current bf by seeing ex. Current bf has already said about me seeing him (i.e. encouraging this meaning he doesn't have a problem) but that he is expecting ex to ask for a contribution. Given that I was the one who paid £1,500 when we had issues with pooch previously, I think I have every right to say no. But I just don't want to put myself in that situation.... Thinking I should just "man up" about seeing ex and make sure I see pooch. 

twiggy86

Things on my "weekly list" this week... 

• Cancel TV licence 
• Make a decision about that possible job - if I don't do anything soon they will probably disregard me anyway!
• Book vets appointment for new pooch to have "MOT" 
• Research pet insurance 
• Chase up balance transfer if I don't hear anything within the next couple of days 

kayannie

twiggy86 said:

Thanks @kayannie - I think I should see him, but my concerns are ex asking for money towards the vets bills and upsetting current bf by seeing ex. Current bf has already said about me seeing him (i.e. encouraging this meaning he doesn't have a problem) but that he is expecting ex to ask for a contribution. Given that I was the one who paid £1,500 when we had issues with pooch previously, I think I have every right to say no. But I just don't want to put myself in that situation.... Thinking I should just "man up" about seeing ex and make sure I see pooch. 

I can see your point, but you might always regret not seeing the pooch. I think that if you do decide to see him, be prepared for your ex to ask for money but also be ready to say no, especially as you have paid a huge vet bill in the past. Would your current bf go with you, even if he stays outside? He might be moral support if you need it. 
KA

twiggy86

You're right @kayannie - I need to be prepared to say no, rather than avoid the situation. I just have a habit of doing anything I can to avoid potential conflict! 

in_need_of_direction

i'm not sure that i would like to go, and it's nothing to do with the Ex.  i think i'd sooner remember the dog as they were than diminished by illness.

Floss

in_need_of_direction said:

i'm not sure that i would like to go, and it's nothing to do with the Ex.  i think i'd sooner remember the dog as they were than diminished by illness.

I'm feeling this way too, it also avoids the likelihood of ex asking for money (which, call me cynical, I think is probably his motive in contacting you).

Hazelnutty

I agree too. Remember the pooch you remember and keep ex at the distance he's deservedly at!

badmemory

Floss said:

in_need_of_direction said:

i'm not sure that i would like to go, and it's nothing to do with the Ex.  i think i'd sooner remember the dog as they were than diminished by illness.

I'm feeling this way too, it also avoids the likelihood of ex asking for money (which, call me cynical, I think is probably his motive in contacting you).

Well I certainly don't think you are being cynical at all.

twiggy86

Thank you all for your comments. Ex texted me an hour or so ago to say that he is collecting pooch at 6 for one last night at home and he will be put down tomorrow. My instant reaction now that "it is actually happening" is that I think I would regret not going more than I would regret seeing him suffering. It won't be easy but I don't want to regret not taking my chance to say goodbye. He's been an amazing dog and has had a brilliant 17 years, which is what I'm trying to remember to stop the tears (it's not working). Ex may have been rubbish to me, but he's doted on that dog and I know he won't have made the decision lightly. If he asks for money, I'll just have to deal with it - but I haven't had pooch as much as I should have because I didn't want to see ex, and I don't want to make that mistake now. 

in_need_of_direction

definitely try to have someone with you for the journey home.  take care