Advice wanted regarding Letter of Claim from DCB Legal

aRatherAnnoyedCitizen

Hi all, Given the amount of time since my last post, I wasn't sure whether to continue on this thread or start a new one, so I'll continue here for now, if there are no replies I'll start a new thread.

It's been just over a month since I last posted here. Finally got the letter through from the CNBC. So it would seem DCB Legal are clearly trying to look serious about this (Even though Umkomaas' list of cancellations list implies otherwise...)
I guess this is where the 'fun' begins!

As per the instructions on the Newbies thread, I will file the AoS shortly. I already have a draft for my Witness statement, which I'll post below. All feedback/critique appreciated!

In the meantime, I found the template here on which to attach my statement to. Although I'd like to clarify a few things just to make sure I'm interpreting all this correctly:

•  I've written my statement in the 3rd person, using the word 'Defendant'. With the notable exception of Paragraph 2 as detailed on the notes on the template, Is this ok or should I change this to 'Keeper' and/or 'Driver'?
•  The claim form states that I was in 'breach of the contract', alleging that I over-stayed. They at least had the decency to state what my alleged 'crime' was. With this in mind I presume I don't need to add any additional paragraphs as stated in the notes under paragraph 3?
•  I understand that nothing on this forum constitutes legal advice - Would it also be worth running my completed witness statement by a solicitor to make sure that there's nothing that might scupper my defence?

With all that said, my witness statement so far is as follows:

The Defendant arrived at the car park on the date in question as part of a routine visit to shop in the local town. The Defendant understood that the terms and conditions allowed up to 2 hours of Free Parking, though any additional time spent after this period could be paid for retroactively even after the initial free period had elapsed as long as it was paid prior to departure.
The Defendant returned to the car park just over 2 hours after parking. Knowing they had arrived just after the maximum free period and 10 minute grace period had been exceeded, they proceeded to a Payment terminal to pay the parking fee.
Upon arriving at the closest Payment terminal, the Defendant found that the terminal was out of order, and was displaying an error, complete with a prominent prohibition symbol to indicate as such.
The Defendant then proceeded to walk the entire area of the car park to attempt payment on a different terminal, but found that all of the designated payment terminals were also non-functional and displaying identical errors.
The Defendant then attempted to download a parking app to their phone, but was unsuccessful in doing so.

During this time, the Defendant also encountered various other people in the same situation, unable to pay due to the terminals being down. (Side note: Should include this one to drive home the point or leave it out?)

The Defendant consulted the signs posted around the car park to see if there was a phone number that could be called in order to pay the amount. They only found one phone number, which was dedicated specifically to disputing or paying Parking Charge Notices that had already been issued. At this stage the Defendant had no outstanding charges against them. With no way of paying the fees, the Defendant used their mobile phone to take photographic/video evidence showing the four terminals, all out of order. The Defendant then left the car park just over 3 hours after initially parking.
===

With all that said, do I paste it all in as paragraph 3 as a single paragraph or should I split my statement into multiple paragraphs and re-number the document accordingly?

Would it also be worth adding an additional paragraph somewhere emphasizing the terminals being down, therefore lack of options to pay? Something to the effect of "The defendant would like to bring to the attention of the judge to the fact that none of the terminals on the site were functional, effectively entrapping the defendant into this claim due to absence of options of payment."? If so, are there any additional cases I can reference here to further my point?

Should I also remove paragraph 19? There were plenty of yellow signs at this car park, so I don't think this paragraph applies...

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your replies and feedback

KeithP

Yes you are right to continue on this thread. It saves us having to leap around the internet looking for background information if everything about one parking incident is in a single thread.

What is the Issue Date on your County Court Claim Form?

You mention Witness Statement several times. That comes later - some months down the line.
It is your Defence that is needed now.

Coupon-mad

Why is this draft described as a WS when you are only at defence stage? I'm confused.  Anyway please show us the bottom half of the claim form, covering up the password and VRM of course.

aRatherAnnoyedCitizen

My mistake - it would appear that I've got the Defence and the Witness statement mixed up! Is the template linked in my previous post the correct one or should I be looking at something else?

@KeithP the issue date on the claim form is the 24th of November. With that in mind I intend to file the AoS today.

@Coupon-mad Stupid question, but when you say 'VRM' I presume you're talking about the car's number plate? (Just double-checking before I post)

KeithP

aRatherAnnoyedCitizen said:

...the issue date on the claim form is the 24th of November. With that in mind I intend to file the AoS today.

With a Claim Issue Date of 24th November, you have until Wednesday 13th December to file an Acknowledgment of Service but there is nothing to be gained by delaying it. 

To file an Acknowledgment of Service, follow the guidance in the Dropbox file linked from the second post in the NEWBIES thread.

Having filed an Acknowledgment of Service in a timely manner, you have until 4pm on Thursday 28th December 2023 to file your Defence.

That's four weeks away. Plenty of time to produce a Defence, but please don't leave it to the last minute. 

To create a Defence, and then file a Defence by email, look again at the second post on the NEWBIES thread - immediately following where you found the Acknowledgment of Service guidance.

Don't miss the deadline for filing an Acknowledgment of Service, nor that for filing a Defence.

Do not try and file a Defence via the MoneyClaimOnline website. Once an Acknowledgment of Service has been filed, the MCOL website should be treated as 'read only'.

Coupon-mad

Yes VRM is numberplate. Cover that and the MCOL password; only show the bottom half.

aRatherAnnoyedCitizen

@Coupon-mad Thanks for the clarification. Please find the screenshot attached below:

Le_Kirk

VRM = Vehicle Registration Mark, it is called that as it cannot be a number plate as it consists of numbers and letters! 

Coupon-mad

aRatherAnnoyedCitizen said:

@Coupon-mad Thanks for the clarification. Please find the screenshot attached below:

Please don't cover up any sums of money.

aRatherAnnoyedCitizen

Coupon-mad said: Please don't cover up any sums of money.

Are you sure that's a good idea? I read a post somewhere on this forum that someone didn't redact the sums, then next thing they knew an employee from the parking company they were fighting PM'd them saying they'd traced their post to their case and they were going to use their posts as evidence against them.