We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Can my colleague discuss my flexible working contract with my manager?

Options
13

Comments

  • Undervalued
    Undervalued Posts: 9,539 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 27 July 2023 at 4:13PM
    Emmia said:
    Your colleague may have their own private reasons for wanting a flexible working arrangement, for example personal health concerns, caring responsibilities, a desire to study, etc.

    I think they can cite you as an example of someone who also has this arrangement, on the basis that theirs isnt the first request, and the company has previously accomodated a request for flexible arrangements. 

    Personally I think just as your reasons for flexible working are private, theirs may also be private - you're not losing out...

    I agree and people should advocate for their own needs/interests. However, I don't want my colleague telling me that they intend to use my arrangement as an example for why they should be allowed if their request is rejected. At this stage, I don't need to know, but I'm unsure what my colleague is trying to achieve by disclosing this to me. I'd rather not know, and for them to pursue what they need to.
    Well you have absolutely no means of preventing them from doing so. If the employer feels that your colleague is acting out of order it is up to them to tell your colleague to desist.

    The answer of these "Can my employer / colleague do XYZ" questions that crop up on here quite frequently is yes, because they have done it! So the real question is what, if anything, can be done about it that is actually beneficial and, if it involves legal action, cost effective. Eight times out of ten the answers are nothing and no!
  • Emmia
    Emmia Posts: 5,488 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.
  • Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


  • NCC1701-A
    NCC1701-A Posts: 429 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


    Presumably you can then raise a grievance about her bullying then?
  • NCC1701-A said:
    Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


    Presumably you can then raise a grievance about her bullying then?
    Had a word with another senior staff member and just said I don't appreciate the way in which said colleague is expressing themselves on the topic. For now, whilst it's being reviewed, it should hopefully be a bit quieter. If it happens again, I'll say to the manager I don't think it's appropriate to bring up others arrangements in an open environment where people don't want to be drawn into it.

  • Marcon
    Marcon Posts: 14,213 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


    The fact you're posting at all, and the way you've phrased your posts, gives a pretty clear indication that you are reacting rather strongly to what your colleague has said. In your opening post you were clear that they had 'said to you', whereas now it's 'told indirectly'.

    The way to 'deal' with the colleague is to make it clear you really don't want to discuss the matter if they try to raise it with you - and then it's between your colleague and 'management'.

    It's not unprofessional to try any tactics someone thinks might advance their cause; what would be unprofessional is the company discussing your situation with your colleague.
    Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!  
  • Undervalued
    Undervalued Posts: 9,539 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Marcon said:
    Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


    The fact you're posting at all, and the way you've phrased your posts, gives a pretty clear indication that you are reacting rather strongly to what your colleague has said. In your opening post you were clear that they had 'said to you', whereas now it's 'told indirectly'.

    The way to 'deal' with the colleague is to make it clear you really don't want to discuss the matter if they try to raise it with you - and then it's between your colleague and 'management'.

    It's not unprofessional to try any tactics someone thinks might advance their cause; what would be unprofessional is the company discussing your situation with your colleague.
    Exactly ^^^^^

    It is not for the OP to "police" their colleague's behaviour. 

    If a polite but firm refusal to discuss the matter with them doesn't work, and it really bothers the OP that much, then the only remaining option is to complain to the management, if necessary via a formal grievance.

    Frankly though, I would try and avoid going down that route.
  • Marcon said:
    Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


    The fact you're posting at all, and the way you've phrased your posts, gives a pretty clear indication that you are reacting rather strongly to what your colleague has said. In your opening post you were clear that they had 'said to you', whereas now it's 'told indirectly'.

    The way to 'deal' with the colleague is to make it clear you really don't want to discuss the matter if they try to raise it with you - and then it's between your colleague and 'management'.

    It's not unprofessional to try any tactics someone thinks might advance their cause; what would be unprofessional is the company discussing your situation with your colleague.

    Nothing has changed there. Yes, the person has 'said to me' they will bring up others flexible working arrangements if unsuccessful, but they said it with a level of resentment. They didn't say, 'if it's unsuccessful, then I may ask for clarity about wider arrangements in the department'. It is that it should be approved, because other people have it, and if it doesn't then other people's arrangement will be used as leverage by them.

    I accept the point about making it clear that I'm not willing to discuss it. Ironically, I would be if the topic didn't cause a sense of entitlement in them. (My interpretation).

    I don't disagree with anyone advancing their cause, but I found the comment aimed at my arrangement unprofessional. We have parents in the department that start work slightly later due to dropping kids off at school. If I said to one of them, 'I've applied to start later, if it's not approved then I'm going to bring up yours and others arrangements, because I should be entitled to it'. In this case, I don't have children and can loosely identify why that arrangement is in place (still might mean I can get it). This person, in question, is choosing to ignore that there may be specific circumstances as to why other people have the arrangements that they do.




  • Marcon said:
    Emmia said:
    The request by your colleague, if it is successful won't remove /affect your previously agreed flexible working arrangement. 

    Your employer presumably doesn't say X number of employees may have this arrangement, so a new person getting it means that someone else (i.e. you)
    loses it... The decision to grant or not is done on a case by case basis, and your colleague will need to present their case, just as you presumably presented yours previously.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand why you're getting worked up about this.

    Concern is different to getting worked up, and also I think it's difficult to assess on a forum if a poster is getting worked up.

    For context, I've arrived at work, to be indirectly told by a colleague that if they don't get their flexible work arrangement approved, then they will sound off about other people's arrangements. Really, my question should've been, 'how do a deal with an unprofessional colleague who wants to drag other colleagues into their requests'. Obviously there are nuances and from yours and others answers nothing needs to happen yet, but I'm preparing myself for more unprofessional behaviour if their request isn't approved. 


    The fact you're posting at all, and the way you've phrased your posts, gives a pretty clear indication that you are reacting rather strongly to what your colleague has said. In your opening post you were clear that they had 'said to you', whereas now it's 'told indirectly'.

    The way to 'deal' with the colleague is to make it clear you really don't want to discuss the matter if they try to raise it with you - and then it's between your colleague and 'management'.

    It's not unprofessional to try any tactics someone thinks might advance their cause; what would be unprofessional is the company discussing your situation with your colleague.
    Exactly ^^^^^

    It is not for the OP to "police" their colleague's behaviour. 

    If a polite but firm refusal to discuss the matter with them doesn't work, and it really bothers the OP that much, then the only remaining option is to complain to the management, if necessary via a formal grievance.

    Frankly though, I would try and avoid going down that route.

    Where did I say I was looking to police their behaviour? I was asking if my colleague could discuss my arrangement in the open. Please bear in mind that there is privacy attached to the arrangement, so whilst talking about the fact someone has flexible working is within reason, I feel I have the right to be concerned if the staff member wants to discuss it whilst clearly emotional and feeling a sense of entitlement.

    I have to sit there and listen to someone essentially say that if I'm allowed flexible working, then so should they in front of multiple people, whilst at the same time I'd prefer not to divulge details of the arrangement, or be questioned in open about it.

    I won't be going down that route. I would have a word with the person in question first.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 350.6K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 243.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.4K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.8K Life & Family
  • 256.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.