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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy my family gifts when I go on holiday as they do for me?



  • charlieventures
    I use to always bring back gifts, but I’ve started travelling 5-6 times per year and realised it’s actually time consuming and stressful remembering to do it. So I’ve stopped. 

    Ive actually started getting irritated at the expectation from family demanding tax free booze and cigarettes 
  • Ed264
    Ed264 Posts: 110 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary
    If you know you'll feel guilty, as you say, then buy them a small gift. You really don't want to feel guilty after taking a well-deserved holiday.
  • Mum_of_two
    we use usually bring back a Christmas tree ornament or key ring showing the country we visit, can then look back on the memories of each holiday.  
  • LAMBS60
    LAMBS60 Posts: 19 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    I agrée with others who say something to eat or drink . Biscuits or chocolate of the area , olives , olive oil, spices , herbs etc . We always bring a little present for our children and grandchildren, it’s just nice 👌🏻 
  • ripongrammargirl
    I am always told not to bring back any gifts from a holiday but I generally buy things for birthdays or Christmas and find the most useful gift is a calendar. Used all year round and great photos of where I have been!
  • 04Felix15
    It’s your mum and sisters pleasure by the sounds of it perhaps they like buying souvenirs etc to mark the holidays they have been too. 
    They think of you and want to get you something.
     Especially if you have told them thank you but next time  don’t get me anything just enjoy your holiday. 

    If they still choose too, it’s not for you to feel guilty. 
    Holiday are  to enjoy yourself  so the only thing I can suggest  but only if you still feel guilty like you should get them something back, is to do it on a rare occasion  but only if you can, not because it’s an obligation.
    I think your they ( your mum and sister) would be touched by the thought because it’s not your thing. 
  • LouiseH245
    LouiseH245 Posts: 133 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    We tend to go the small edible gift from the local area or if someone collects things (my sister collects keyring) we'll get one from where we've been. It is obviously worth noting that there may be restrictions or bans on what can be brought back from various countries with regards to not only food/drink products but also other items too like wooden items. 

    I understand the guilt but maybe having some photos printed from your trip would also be a great gift as they'll enable you to talk about your trip with the family whilst they look at physical photos, which is great for older family members. Your gift could be their favourite photo of you enjoying yourself which they can keep and frame if they want to. 
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  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,482 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Chutzpah Haggler
    There is no way on earth I'd ever waste time on holiday shopping for gifts. It's not the cost, it's the time spent shopping, it's transporting it back etc. If I happened to see something someone I knew would like and it couldn't be bought in the UK, I might buy it as a Christmas/birthday present or just as a random gift, but otherwise, I wouldn't just buy a gift for the sake of it or to reciprocate. If it's "the thought that counts" then it's not the expectation of reciprocation. 
    For a lot of people, they just like shopping, they're not buying gifts because they're better more considerate human beings but because they enjoy shopping, even for stuff that isn't for them. If they want to spend their time on holiday doing that, fine. But I'm not going to, I don't like shopping. You can show your love for friends/family in other ways than buying tat they might not even like or use.
  • cardriver98
    cardriver98 Posts: 38 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Personal choice. One doesn't "give" in the hope of "receiving" .  We stopped years ago. And gone as far as NO xmas or birthday presents.  When we have everything we need, why spend money on stuff that is not needed. A card is sufficient. (and an e-card makes economical sense.
  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Posts: 109 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    It's our culture to reciprocate, and good manners.  Your family give that time, effort, thought and expense for you, why would you risk hurting them by not doing it for them?  Why would you not want to do that kind thing?  It doesn't have to be expensive, perhaps something edible appropriate to the place?  Like sending postcards, it shows thought, and it's the thought that counts.
    Because OP says they buy things they don't want or need. Generally these things are tat. Why waste money and clog your home up with stuff you don't want just to be polite.  If I have space I bring back biscuits usually. I know they will go down well as there is no embargo on biscuits in our family. But if I don't have space there is  nothing.
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