Just been approved as Foster Carers.

Gale_10

Its good to hear of people making a really positive contribution to society, congratulations, restores our faith in human nature! I hope it is as rewarding as it sounds, I am sure you'll be great!

Gale

juno

Congratulations :beer:

play2day

happy_as_larry wrote: »

Yes, it is very close to Christmas but even if they phoned us at midnight on Christmas Eve we would still say yes to the placement.

Anyone other foster carers out there willing to give me some tips?

:TWell done, good luck and enjoy!:T

We have been specialist carers for the past 10 years. The best tip that I can give you is to not say 'yes' unless you're sure the 'match' is right, particularly at Christmas. It can be very hard to say 'No' whan your every instinct wants to help but you must be certain that your genetic family are happy too. Twice we have taken Christmas Eve placements that we would not have agreed to ordinarily and both times it has been positive for the child placed but a disaster for our birth children. On one occasion my son (then 12) actually moved out because he was being constantly physically assaulted. It was emotionally very hard on all of us and with hindsight I made the wrong decision agreeing to the placement.

happy_as_larry_2

Thanks for all your support.
I think it will be easier for us because we have no children living at home, our son is in his first year of Uni.
It is a shame that we have 3 empty bedrooms with so many children needing help.
I think it will be very easy to spoil them at first as it is a natural reaction but I know we must be firm and not let our emotions rule our heads. I hope it will be as rewarding as people say.
I have heard stories of children being neglected and abused and then during contact the parent screams at the foster carer that they better take care of their child or else????????????
My skin will need to grow very thick methinks

Carrera74

I don't' have any experience I just wanted to say what a wonderful thing you are going to be doing. x

shawbarbara

congratulations well done but please listen to the advise of play2day and others as you will be asked to take children (who through no fault of their own) can be very challenging - just be careful about matching particularly if you have your own birth children living with you , also unfortunately you CAN NOT depend on the S/W telling you the whole truth about the childs background etc ( sometimes they dont know -other times they know but dont want you to know) sad as this is to say you do need to really consider you own children in all this AND yourselfs allegations can be made fortunately we never had any but we have heard of other foster carers who had to go through some terrible times to clear their names PLEASE JUST DONT BE PRESSURED INTO DOING TO MUCH TOO SOON good luck

ann410

hi, most important advise i can give you is, when you have you meetings with SW and they give you, advice etc get it in WRITING if the s..t
hits the fan, it will be your word against there, anything you are not happy about again get it in writing, i have had a child's SW say, child age 10 can go out alone, when i asked what time child should be in SW said around 9pm, child did not know area (very street wise child )when i asked for this in writing Sw unwilling to do so,!! WONDER WHY !

mary43

Well done. I'm sure you'll find it very rewarding.
I've been a foster carer for nearly 17 years ....took a year for approval to be given.............I think soc.serv. know more about us that we do............lol
We care for teenagers, particularly the so called 'problem' ones (aren't they all?)

Best advice I can give you:

Don't be pressurised into taking a placement that just might not be suitable for you.
Try and find out, in fact insist, that you know as much about the childs background as possible, as well as any behaviour (such as theft, violence etc.) and health problems and any contact arrangements. These should be in writing anyway but often that's after you say 'yes'.
If possible, take the child gradually with introductions, then overnight stays etc. particularly if you foster more than one child. It's important for the whole family to be able to get along.
Set bounderies but not too many house 'rules'. (depending on childs age)
Teenagers and those approaching the dreaded teens hate 'rules' anyway and will find a few easier to cope with than a whole list.
Be a good listener, meet other foster carers whenever you can (training, foster carers meetings) they are invaluable if theres something you feel you must talk to someone about
Keep your sense of humour.............its very easy to loose it.
Make sure you have some 'you' time..............good luck:T

mishmash

Well Done

I hope to one day be in your position, would love to foster but have 4 children at home and no spare room just now.
My Dad spent most of his childhood in foster/care homes, I think that was why I innitially became a social worker.

In terms of a tip, . I once had to place a 2 year old having removed him from his family. I will not go into the detail but it was very traumatic for all involved. I always found this age hard very difficult when removing them from parents care. Babies are too young to understand and older children can be comforted and you can explain things to them but at 2 they understand a bit but you cannot really reason with them.

Anyway I took the little one to foster carers and outside the front door was a toy car, in the porch there were more and so on through the hallway resulting in a garage and lots of cars/trucks in the sitting room. They were old toys in fact had been the carers sons (he was 30). It helped to get the child in and take his mind of being scared. It was only a little thing but it helped the child.

I think you are doing a great thing I hope you have a great 2008.

Mish x

lindauk

as someone who was fostered at a young age and can remember it I think what you are doing is amazing. Kids need a loving place to go while things get sorted and I'm glad that there are still people out there who want to help kids from troubled backgrounds. Best of luck to you both.