Daughters upcoming wedding

london21

Do what you can afford however small but don’t overstretch yourself.

Sometimes contribution is support and effort rather than just finance.

Be there for her, your support and help will be appreciated. 

bunnygo

you are short of money so the last thing you should be doing is paying for a party. They are adults, let them arrange it themselves. It's only one day.

Longwalker

Why do you think you have to contribute to a grown woman's wedding? 

Thats so outdated

Im a year younger then you and we paid for our own wedding and our son is getting married this year and guess what? He and the bride to be are paying for that

You have already made the biggest contribution, your daughter , support and help with organising if she asks, but other then that, pick an outfit and enjoy the day xx

Indout96

We paid for everything ourselves back in 1983, my family could have afforded to help (or even pay for it all without batting an eyelid, Wifes mother was on her own and could not but made wifes wedding dress) but we never would have accepted it. We had a small wedding and reception at local squash club followed by 3 days in London, it was all we could afford.
The dream part of a wedding is getting married to the right person, we are still on honeymoon 40 years later.

coffee_cake

Please don't feel that you are obligated to contribute financially - if she wants the wedding of her dreams she should stump up the bill, her and her partner are both independent adults.

How about contributing in another way - are you good at crafting or baking?  Making something for the tables such as centerpieces, wedding favours etc?

Or something that can be worn with her wedding dress?

Keep_pedalling

Lots of good advice here but unfortunately it seems the OP has not been back to read any of it.

christina_p

So so sorry everyone got completely lost on here! 😳 Newbie Alert!! 🤣 I am just reading all your replies & in advance I say a huge thank you I will respond to you all! 

HampshireH

I don't think people get married these days with the expectation someone else will pay for it. 

If you want to contribute somewhere and can afford to, why not go dress shopping with her and as a surprise when it comes to pay offer to cover a % of it. That would be a lovely surprise but only if affordable and it is totally on your terms so would only be wat you could afford

Newly_retired

A wedding at their stage in life is, apart from the legal essentials, just a glorified party, with glorified prices to match. Have a frank conversation with your daughter and I am sure you will find the couple are planning to pay for it themselves, though will appreciate a bit of help. Lots of great suggestions of ways you can help without costing money. Let’s hope the couple do not fall into the trap of letting “he who pays the piper calls the tune”, if they accept the groom’s parents’ offer.

SadieO

Indout96 said:

The dream part of a wedding is getting married to the right person, we are still on honeymoon 40 years later.

This is so lovely it just brought a little tear to my eye! 

OP,  you've given your daughter a million pounds' worth of love and support! You certainly have nothing to feel humiliated about.  And if the future in-laws want to pay for the wedding as a gift to their son and daughter in law (and they can afford to do so, and your daughter and her fiance trust that the money won't come with strings attached), then personally I'd blooming well let them!