How much board to charge kids?

Savvy_Sue

annabanana82 said:

Having heard of the stories of adult children not thinking they should pay keep for some time now, I made sure I got in early with our expectations on this matter 

Yes, me too, although not before the eldest finished at Uni. During holidays he was already very good at just getting any shopping he noticed we needed / I asked him to get and not expecting repayment, and he was behaving like a grownup and helping out where needed / cooking / doing his own laundry etc. 

However, it got to his final year and he didn't seem to have made any progress on job hunting. My mum asked what he was going to do when he finished, and his answer was "Panic?" Which was not dissimilar to my own response, many years previously, so I could hardly blame him. 

Anyway, get to him finishing his final exams, and I asked what he was doing, and he said, very tentatively, he was hoping he could come home and see if he could make it work being self-employed. I said yes, although I was not optimistic about him making any money - I was sure he'd be good at what he did, but absolutely hopeless at self-promotion. 

So I said he'd need to pay rent, not least because if he didn't, I'd never get a penny out of the youngest! And we negotiated: he'd been paying a very cheap rent in his final year and he'd have happily paid more, but we agreed he'd pay that. 

Next one graduated and came home to job hunt: didn't take him long but he paid a nominal rent for the month it took him. 

Youngest went to the local Uni, and was surprised a) not to get a place in Halls immediately (I told him he wouldn't) and b) when I said that his grant was not ALL spending money! He did move out after a month, but was still shocked at the price of food ... 

Spendless said:

annabanana82 said:

We also talked about a friend of his, who took umbrage at the fact that her parents wanted to charge her rent as she wasn't going to uni and would be working. She's now looking to rent a room privately and the relationship between her and the Mum is even more difficult than it was previously.

Surely unless her Mum was charging her a considerable amount renting a room privately will be a lot more expensive?? 

annabanana82 said:

@Spendless yes I'd assume so. I don't see private rooms come up very often but would expect it to at least be £400 a month 

Ah, but it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing: how DARE your parents charge you for living at home if you have your own income! 

I think it's sad: clearly they had a difficult relationship, and it's worse now, maybe getting expectations in early would have improved things? I knew my parents would want keep, in fact I paid something when I had holiday jobs, so it couldn't make things any more difficult with my mum than it was already ... 

goater78

These sort of questions are less about your kids and more about your personal financial situation. If you don’t need the money then charge them nothing. It will enable them to move out quicker.  

If you do need the money then agree with them a fair amount depending on how much you need. However bear in mind when they move out you lose that income. 

newsgroupmonkey_

When my son finished college and started a job, I charged him what I lost in child benefit. I think that was £85 every 4 weeks.

And no, I didn't give it back because it contributed to the bills, food, dads.taxi etc.

Both my kids are very financially dependent now.

Philip_P

Own bathrooms? They sound spoilt!
Ball Park figure I'd say £50 per week.

Pollycat

Philip_P said:

Own bathrooms? They sound spoilt!
Ball Park figure I'd say £50 per week.

I guess if their parents live in a house with at least 2 en-suite bathrooms, it doesn't mean they are spoilt.
Just that they are lucky that their parents can afford more than a 2-up-2-down house.
I don't think the fact that they each have their own bathroom is at all relevant.

Given that the OP includes "food, heating, electricity, washing, lifts etc", I don't think that £50 per week is enough.

I'd be happy to have a place that fed me, provided heating and electricity, someone to wash my clothes and pick me up on a regular basis at unsocial hours for £50 per week.
Of course, the OP doesn't say if the kids bung him cash to cover his petrol.

It's quite possible that taxi fares could amount to £50.00 per week as pick-ups are around 01:00am.

It really is a 'How long is a piece of string?' question.

DullGreyGuy

goater78 said:

These sort of questions are less about your kids and more about your personal financial situation. If you don’t need the money then charge them nothing. It will enable them to move out quicker.  

If you do need the money then agree with them a fair amount depending on how much you need. However bear in mind when they move out you lose that income. 

That depends on what they do with it... some will be good and save the extra others will spend it on drink, clothes, computer games or other consumables/depreciating things. 

Personally, I think its better to charge them an amount not too dissimilar to what a house share would cost them so they get used to having to pay their own way else first attempt to move out will be a shock when 30% of their income just disappears into rent. I know more than one friend decided to go back to their parents to live rent free shortly after leaving for the first time and seeing the impact of rent on their spending ability, one still lives there age 43. If you dont fully need the money it can naturally be put aside and some/all of it returned to help with a deposit etc.

I got charged 50% of my income from the age of 15/16 until I moved out (to uni) at 19 and I felt that was really unfair as if I did overtime my rent went up and that isnt how it works in the real world. Personally didnt get any of it given back afterwards either.

Nelliegrace

I don’t think they will learn much about the cost of living at £50 a week out of £22.000 a year. It is less than 12%.

theonlywayisup

DullGreyGuy said:

goater78 said:

These sort of questions are less about your kids and more about your personal financial situation. If you don’t need the money then charge them nothing. It will enable them to move out quicker.  

If you do need the money then agree with them a fair amount depending on how much you need. However bear in mind when they move out you lose that income. 

That depends on what they do with it... some will be good and save the extra others will spend it on drink, clothes, computer games or other consumables/depreciating things. 

Personally, I think its better to charge them an amount not too dissimilar to what a house share would cost them so they get used to having to pay their own way else first attempt to move out will be a shock when 30% of their income just disappears into rent. I know more than one friend decided to go back to their parents to live rent free shortly after leaving for the first time and seeing the impact of rent on their spending ability, one still lives there age 43. If you dont fully need the money it can naturally be put aside and some/all of it returned to help with a deposit etc.

I got charged 50% of my income from the age of 15/16 until I moved out (to uni) at 19 and I felt that was really unfair as if I did overtime my rent went up and that isnt how it works in the real world. Personally didnt get any of it given back afterwards either.

I disagree.  My bit in bold. 

Money that your children have (or anyone else for that matter) should never be about 'what they do with it'.  No one has any right to tell another how to spend their money.  If you educate your children well - not just academically - then they will know and understand value and cost. 

Ours have flown the nest and a penny was never taken.  

I could not be more proud of what they have become. 

Brie

Hmmmm.....well having a room in shared accommodation around here is about £500 a month.  A friend recently found a small studio flat for rent in a inconvenient part of town for £650.  Not much different than shared accommodation in that the kitchen has 2 hobs, a microwave/oven and a 1/3 size under counter fridge (no freezer).  Average salaries for experienced adults are £23k so not very different from what your teens are getting.  So I'd be thinking something north of £400 a month.

But I would sit them down and show them all the standard bills.  Basically give them a bit of a finance education.  Here's how much the house pays for gas, electric, water, sewage, council tax, phone/broadband, and of course the mortgage.  Decide which of these you want to include in the shared household fund.  Maybe everything except the mortgage?  Or include the interest on the mortgage but not the principle being paid back?  Take the monthly total and divide it by the number of working adults in the house.  Maybe knock another 30% off their portion.  Give them an amount, agree with them what day it will be paid (payday +2?).  Maybe agree that you will knock off whatever additional amount they are regularly putting into their pension or ISA. 

And then if you don't need the £ put it into a savings account (premium bonds??) and save it for when they need it for further education or down payment on their own place. 

Brie

Oh and they have to buy their own takeaways, pay for lifts and do their own washing including linen and clean their own rooms including the ensuites.