How much board to charge kids?

MalMonroe

My adult daughter lives with me (she has a disability and wouldn't be able to manage on her own) and has a well paid, part time job working from home. My income, as a pensioner, is pretty dire so I discussed it with her and we thought it fair if we added up all the household bills, including costs of running a car and split them down the middle. She buys her own food and cooks it too as we don't eat the same things and we split costs if any major appliances break down. (Two in the last year.)  We consider it to be 'our home', rather than me being her landlord.

When I started working, my parents would never take board from me. Not that they were wealthy but they just wouldn't accept anything, even though I tried! I wish I didn't have to take board from my daughter but I have to say that she's great at budgeting and isn't liable to get into financial difficulty, like I did a few years ago. She wanted to pay her own way, anyway.

With your children, couldn't you encourage the one who works unsociable hours to get a taxi home? Taxis also run at unsociable hours and if it's most nights, then sometimes you can book a regular taxi service at a slightly lower rate. It's worth checking out. Or get them to learn to drive? 

I don't think £400 per month each would be at all unreasonable, especially as everything appears to be provided for them. Have a family discussion, see what they say. More importantly, see what you say! 

silvercar

Nelliegrace said:

I think if they are typical teenagers I would make them responsible for the food, electricity and water bills, and various household tasks.

Another choice would be to charge them a lot of rent, as much as rent elsewhere would cost them, and save it to help them buy a property in the hope that they will move out eventually. The new bank of Mum and Dad. 

Hardly the Bank of M&D, if they have put all the money in!

Pollycat

Nelliegrace said:

I think if they are typical teenagers I would make them responsible for the food, electricity and water bills, and various household tasks.

What?
All of the bills?

VyEu

£22k? Per year? That's really not very much, especially if they are trying to save up and move out. They didn't ask to be born and there are incredibly limited opportunities for children to 'fly the nest' at an early age...19?! 
If you really want to charge, instead of supporting them to save up and then leave, then what does it actually cost you to keep them? Do the maths and show them so they can see that you're not profiting off them. Don't stifle them before they've even had a chance.

Spendless

The website Net salary calculator gives the net pay for a salary of £22K as around £1580 per month. 

https://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php

If you followed a traditional rule of thumb of asking for 1/3 this would have you asking for around £500 each. Is this reasonable, not enough, too much?

Maybe have 1/3 as the maximum you would ask, and work out what's the minimum you would ask (eg if you only asked for a groceries contribution) and then find a acceptable amount in the middle. 

My son who is 23 with a degree is earning a little less than your children , has moved out, pays rent and bills from his salary. Is fortunate enough to be able to work to work. We only help by taking him in the car to a cheaper supermarket than he can get to under his own steam and buying him nice but practical gifts for birthdays/Christmas such as a decent coat and rucksack and items that save money in the long run  such as a razor sharpener. 

silvercar

The more you charge, the longer it will take to save up to move out.

Nelliegrace

Adults living at home, in employment, should contribute to the cost of running the home. The offspring are not children and need to learn about finances. How will they learn to manage money if they think their earnings are all for leisure? 

“They didn’t ask to be born,” sounds like an excuse for pretty spoilt young adults with a sense of entitlement. Children whinge, “Everyone else has one,” and expects the latest electronic gadget as a right. We have spoilt them, and we still treat them as if they were children. It is not good for them. 

At sixth form my parents stopped giving us pocket money and gave us an allowance for clothes and hobbies, it didn’t go far. We were encouraged to have Saturday jobs and to save up for anything extra. When I worked full time my contribution when I lived at home was a quarter of my salary. 

strawb_shortcake

I've recently had this conversation with my Son (he's still at uni so keep doesn't apply just yet). 

He thought 20/25% of his take home would be a fair contribution, and I'd be inclined to agree. I'd like to think I'll be in a position to save most if not all of it to give back to him when he comes to move out. 

He fully got the reasons for charging keep, contributing to the household bills as well as for budgeting purposes going forward.

We also talked about a friend of his, who took umbrage at the fact that her parents wanted to charge her rent as she wasn't going to uni and would be working. She's now looking to rent a room privately and the relationship between her and the Mum is even more difficult than it was previously.

Having heard of the stories of adult children not thinking they should pay keep for some time now, I made sure I got in early with our expectations on this matter 

Spendless

annabanana82 said:

I've recently had this conversation with my Son (he's still at uni so keep doesn't apply just yet). 

He thought 20/25% of his take home would be a fair contribution, and I'd be inclined to agree. I'd like to think I'll be in a position to save most if not all of it to give back to him when he comes to move out. 

He fully got the reasons for charging keep, contributing to the household bills as well as for budgeting purposes going forward.

We also talked about a friend of his, who took umbrage at the fact that her parents wanted to charge her rent as she wasn't going to uni and would be working. She's now looking to rent a room privately and the relationship between her and the Mum is even more difficult than it was previously.

Having heard of the stories of adult children not thinking they should pay keep for some time now, I made sure I got in early with our expectations on this matter 

Surely unless her Mum was charging her a considerable amount renting a room privately will be a lot more expensive?? 

strawb_shortcake

@Spendless yes I'd assume so. I don't see private rooms come up very often but would expect it to at least be £400 a month