Building work & neighbours roof... Please be kind 😔

funkyfifi

The WhatsApp messages are very blunt, and disjointed and it's more the quantity and the fact its always when I'm at work and there's lots of people she could actually talk to in the bloody house next door. Today was about 10 messages and 2 missed calls. I've told her now to stop, so we'll see..... 

ThisIsWeird

Blimey, Funky, that's just awful.

These folk cannot possibly believe their roof was damaged by your building work?! In which case, they are trying it on, and trying to get what they are after by bullying and intimidation.

Please write down all that has taken place - dated and timed, and as much verbatim content as possible. If it continues, then please also consider calling the local Bobby - their behaviour has crossed the line.

sheramber

 made a racist comment to his mixed race son who is his labourer.

I hope that has been reported.

funkyfifi

sheramber said:

 made a racist comment to his mixed race son who is his labourer.

I hope that has been reported.

They told him to go back to where he came from..... 
He's the most beautiful soul.... But also won't take !!!!!! from anyone, he's 21 and due a baby any day now... This raged me honestly although he seemed to sort it out and not be affected.... I was at work so didn't hear it, but Dad did

funkyfifi

ThisIsWeird said:

Blimey, Funky, that's just awful.

These folk cannot possibly believe their roof was damaged by your building work?! In which case, they are trying it on, and trying to get what they are after by bullying and intimidation.

Please write down all that has taken place - dated and timed, and as much verbatim content as possible. If it continues, then please also consider calling the local Bobby - their behaviour has crossed the line.

Thank you again.... I really think they know how !!!!!! their roof was and have been waiting for this point.
I had 4 days of messages about some pieces of plastic that had blown into their back garden that I repeatedly said that I would come round at their convenience and tidy them away, but even that was problematic as I never got proper answers..... I'm not a bad person and this is just affecting me so badly

funkyfifi

I'm wondering if these photos will work... I'm trying it now

ThisIsWeird

funkyfifi said:

ThisIsWeird said:

Blimey, Funky, that's just awful.

These folk cannot possibly believe their roof was damaged by your building work?! In which case, they are trying it on, and trying to get what they are after by bullying and intimidation.

Please write down all that has taken place - dated and timed, and as much verbatim content as possible. If it continues, then please also consider calling the local Bobby - their behaviour has crossed the line.

Thank you again.... I really think they know how !!!!!! their roof was and have been waiting for this point.
I had 4 days of messages about some pieces of plastic that had blown into their back garden that I repeatedly said that I would come round at their convenience and tidy them away, but even that was problematic as I never got proper answers..... I'm not a bad person and this is just affecting me so badly

This is the sort of detail you should also be noting down - if you judge it's a further good example of their unreasonable attitude (which I think it might). 

What are these 'pieces of plastic' blown into their garden? I presume they could, if they wished, simply pick them up in seconds and pop them back over your wall - even if accompanied with a reasonable request that you 'take more care, please'? But instead they use it to make repeated complaints, over days, whilst also making it awkward for you to sort it out.

ThisIsWeird

funkyfifi said:

sheramber said:

 made a racist comment to his mixed race son who is his labourer.

I hope that has been reported.

They told him to go back to where he came from..... 
He's the most beautiful soul.... But also won't take !!!!!! from anyone, he's 21 and due a baby any day now... This raged me honestly although he seemed to sort it out and not be affected.... I was at work so didn't hear it, but Dad did

I have to say that when you previously mentioned your neighb's poor English, I'd assumed they were 1st gen immigrants. That's not the case? Again, note this incident down (adding that you didn't, yourself, witness it).

This is all 'rope', and it's surely time to draw a line under it? A recorded means of summing up the actual case - no damage caused = no compensation - and if their messages or rants continue, you call the police. From what you say, you have more than enough incidences to justify this.

You will find that, when you do call the locals, they will ask if you think there's an element of racism or 'hate' involved, at which point you can truthfully say you don't know, but 'they did level a racist comment to one of my builders'. I think you'll find the issue will then be prioritised, and you might get someone in attendance that day rather than having to wait a typical week or so.

I'd urge you, tho', to not 'over-egg' the situation or the 'harassment' - you have more than enough examples there, and it is far more effective when delivered in a calm, impartial, factual, and un-emotive a delivery as possible whilst still making it very clear how it's made you feel - add the example where you parked up to compose yourself and couldn't face going home due to the repeated messages.

The neighb will be told, at the very least, to C&D from any further contact regarding this issue, and to go 'legal' if they truly believe they have a case. If they are nutty enough to do so, do not worry - the first suggestion (after a scurrilous claim) - will almost certainly be mediation, and that is where you and your builder will have the opportunity to read out all your notes, and show them the B&A photos. You should find this experience very cathartic and rewarding.

It's pretty clear, I think, that there is nothing to be rescued from this relationship - you won't be sending each other Christmas cards, for example. But for as long as you are neighbs, you will obviously continue to be civil, and they had better be too - the very first indication of anti-social behaviour, call the police and/ or the LA. They mustn't even start to test the water again.

Deep breath - and relax.

mi-key

Well done for standing your ground. It seems like they think that as a woman they can intimidate and bully you into paying for a new roof for them when they know full well it was damaged before.

As others have said, dont sink to their level. Be polite but firm, and if they even raise their voices a little bit, walk away and ignore them.

They will either get the message you aren't going to give into them, or they really believe you have damaged it, in which case they can get their evidence and take you to court

mi-key

As for the racist comment. I would get your dad to report this. It's not acceptable in any circumstances, and even if the son isn't bothered then it may be good for the police to pop round the neighbours and have a quiet word with them. Might put them in their place a bit too