long term loan to friend

tightauldgit

goater78 said:

Wyndham said:

Never lend to a friend. It's likely to cost you both the money and the friendship.

Unless you had something in writing, it's unlikely that you'll ever see the money again. And even if you do, it's far from a given.

Sorry - I know that isn't what you want to hear....

I don’t agree with this. Generally lending money to a friend is not likely to cost you the money and friendship. 

I would guess the majority of people who lend money to a friend get paid back without any issues. Obviously in this scenario sounds like the OP has lost the money but this is an exception to the rule. 

Generally lending significant sums of money in the expectation of being repaid to anyone is a bad idea as the average person has a low to zero chance of being able to recover it if said person decides they don't want to give it back.  

To my mind if a bank wouldn't lend to someone with all their resources and protections then why on earth would I want to lend to them? 

If it's help or a gift then fair enough but then you probably shouldn't expect to be being repaid.

goater78

tightauldgit said:

goater78 said:

Wyndham said:

Never lend to a friend. It's likely to cost you both the money and the friendship.

Unless you had something in writing, it's unlikely that you'll ever see the money again. And even if you do, it's far from a given.

Sorry - I know that isn't what you want to hear....

I don’t agree with this. Generally lending money to a friend is not likely to cost you the money and friendship. 

I would guess the majority of people who lend money to a friend get paid back without any issues. Obviously in this scenario sounds like the OP has lost the money but this is an exception to the rule. 

Generally lending significant sums of money in the expectation of being repaid to anyone is a bad idea as the average person has a low to zero chance of being able to recover it if said person decides they don't want to give it back.  

To my mind if a bank wouldn't lend to someone with all their resources and protections then why on earth would I want to lend to them? 

If it's help or a gift then fair enough but then you probably shouldn't expect to be being repaid.

The post I replied to didn’t say “significant” but the main point I disagree with is that lending money to a friend will likely cost you both the money and the friendship. That is clearly untrue and although as you say the person can decide not to pay you back if they are genuinely a friend they won’t do that. 

I have lent money many times to friends/families and have always been repaid back. 

It makes me a feel a bit sad for you that if a friend asked you for a loan you would refuse and tell them to go to the bank. Sometimes friends struggle and it’s good to help them out. Makes the world a less lonely and nicer place. 

TimSynths

Kiss it all good bye I'm afraid, they have no intention or ability to ever pay you back. Don't lend money to any one else ever again, that is what banks are for, its their risk, and if they tell a customer no its for a good reason and not for you to charitably step in.

tightauldgit

goater78 said:

tightauldgit said:

goater78 said:

Wyndham said:

Never lend to a friend. It's likely to cost you both the money and the friendship.

Unless you had something in writing, it's unlikely that you'll ever see the money again. And even if you do, it's far from a given.

Sorry - I know that isn't what you want to hear....

I don’t agree with this. Generally lending money to a friend is not likely to cost you the money and friendship. 

I would guess the majority of people who lend money to a friend get paid back without any issues. Obviously in this scenario sounds like the OP has lost the money but this is an exception to the rule. 

Generally lending significant sums of money in the expectation of being repaid to anyone is a bad idea as the average person has a low to zero chance of being able to recover it if said person decides they don't want to give it back.  

To my mind if a bank wouldn't lend to someone with all their resources and protections then why on earth would I want to lend to them? 

If it's help or a gift then fair enough but then you probably shouldn't expect to be being repaid.

The post I replied to didn’t say “significant” but the main point I disagree with is that lending money to a friend will likely cost you both the money and the friendship. That is clearly untrue and although as you say the person can decide not to pay you back if they are genuinely a friend they won’t do that. 

I have lent money many times to friends/families and have always been repaid back. 

It makes me a feel a bit sad for you that if a friend asked you for a loan you would refuse and tell them to go to the bank. Sometimes friends struggle and it’s good to help them out. Makes the world a less lonely and nicer place. 

Some people can 'decide' not to pay you back but in many cases its merely a case of them not being able to pay you back - after all if they were financially stable and secure they probably wouldn't be borrowing cash in the first place. 

The key point for me is 'the expectation to be paid back' if you are talking about lending £20 to a friend then if it doesn't get paid back it's no big deal really. But if you are lending sums to the point where it not being repaid becomes an issue for you then you have to be realistic that there's a good chance that they will struggle to repay you. 

As I said if you consider it help then go ahead, but don't rely on getting it back

JCS1

tiger135 said:

over a ten year period i loaned money to a friend and it is now a huge loan which he promising he will pay back but my patience has run out. a year ago i said please just pay me weekly or monthly something to knock off the debt, but he cant even manage to be reliable with that. he now has no job or assets! and he has an IVA to his name. his house is owned by his dad and is worth about 350k. its owned outright. after his recent sacking from a job i said to him this isnt working, your not able to pay me regularly so i want another solution. my suggestion is have his house re mortgaged as a buy to let and he can then pay me off and pay the rent to his dad to cover the mortgage. i have even suggested taking a settlement or half the amount just to draw a line under it. 
i must add i believe this friend means well but appears cursed when it comes to running businesses or staying in jobs. he has lived off me and his dad for years. he has some form of adhd but can come across as a bully and not realise his actions are wrong until later. so just after some advice. i thought his parents were decent people and ive known then since we were kids but the longer this drags on the more it feels like i am trying to get blood out of a stone! 

If he has an IVA, did you receive paperwork at the time?  if you are listed as a creditor, you'll unfortunately be receiving so many pence in the pound, if payments are made by your friend.

tiger135

the iva is nothing to do with me, its for other debts hes accumulated.
ive found out theres no chance of a lump sum, his father is at the end of his tether himself with his son. over the years his father has ploughed in over half a million to try to realise his sons business dreams. the son is delusional. 
my thoughts now are to tell him i want a payment every friday, however small, even £20 would buy me a few coffees. if he hasnt the respect to do that then all i can do is cut ties completely.

RAS

tiger135 said:

the iva is nothing to do with me, its for other debts hes accumulated.

I think you'll find that an IVA covers all debt taken out prior to the arrangement being made, regardless.

And that those on an IVA aren't allowed to take out credit to the tune of more than £500 without express agreement from their IVA provider. 

That probably applies to incremental credit like overdrafts as well as one-off sums.

_Penny_Dreadful

The money is gone and you’re not going to get it back. 

tiger135

youre likely right, and its too much to be able to remain friends in any way 

diego_94

This is why you never lend to friends. Some people are just terrible with money. 

You will never get your money back I am afraid.