long term loan to friend

tiger135

over a ten year period i loaned money to a friend and it is now a huge loan which he promising he will pay back but my patience has run out. a year ago i said please just pay me weekly or monthly something to knock off the debt, but he cant even manage to be reliable with that. he now has no job or assets! and he has an IVA to his name. his house is owned by his dad and is worth about 350k. its owned outright. after his recent sacking from a job i said to him this isnt working, your not able to pay me regularly so i want another solution. my suggestion is have his house re mortgaged as a buy to let and he can then pay me off and pay the rent to his dad to cover the mortgage. i have even suggested taking a settlement or half the amount just to draw a line under it. 
i must add i believe this friend means well but appears cursed when it comes to running businesses or staying in jobs. he has lived off me and his dad for years. he has some form of adhd but can come across as a bully and not realise his actions are wrong until later. so just after some advice. i thought his parents were decent people and ive known then since we were kids but the longer this drags on the more it feels like i am trying to get blood out of a stone! 

Pollycat

What paperwork/documentation do you have about this loan?

RAS

It's not clear if this was a single sum you loaned him or multiple sum you lent over the years? Unless you started court action re the first sum within 6 years it will be statute barred

Only sums lent within the last 6 years would normally be enforceable.

If he has an IVA, this debt will be included. Speak to his Insolvency Practitioner. Details will be Insolvency Register.

bobster2

tiger135 said:

over a ten year period i loaned money to a friend and it is now a huge loan which he promising he will pay back but my patience has run out. a year ago i said please just pay me weekly or monthly something to knock off the debt, but he cant even manage to be reliable with that. he now has no job or assets! and he has an IVA to his name. his house is owned by his dad and is worth about 350k. its owned outright. after his recent sacking from a job i said to him this isnt working, your not able to pay me regularly so i want another solution. my suggestion is have his house re mortgaged as a buy to let and he can then pay me off and pay the rent to his dad to cover the mortgage. i have even suggested taking a settlement or half the amount just to draw a line under it. 
i must add i believe this friend means well but appears cursed when it comes to running businesses or staying in jobs. he has lived off me and his dad for years. he has some form of adhd but can come across as a bully and not realise his actions are wrong until later. so just after some advice. i thought his parents were decent people and ive known then since we were kids but the longer this drags on the more it feels like i am trying to get blood out of a stone! 

Problem with this suggestion - you say it's not your friend's house. The house belongs to his father. Why would his father want to get a mortgage on a house he owns outright?

If your friend has a history of bad financial decisions - it's quite possible that the parents have decided to provide a house for him to live in rather than money - because they know if they give him money it'll disappear into a bad business / get wasted somehow.

If this is the case - the parents will absolutely not want to get a mortgage on a property they already own to give their child a load of cash.

bouicca21

As Judge Judy always says in such situations, if you kept on loaning money after he failed to pay you back the first time, then you had no realistic expectation of repayment.

Wyndham

Never lend to a friend. It's likely to cost you both the money and the friendship.

Unless you had something in writing, it's unlikely that you'll ever see the money again. And even if you do, it's far from a given.

Sorry - I know that isn't what you want to hear....

justwhat

how much was it ?
Have you anything in writing and how did you give him the money?

TBagpuss

It may be in your interests to send a formal letter before action with a view to applying to court to recover the debt. It may well mean that you get nothing - if he has no assets there is nothing against which to enforce it, but it might focus his mind. If he is in employment it may be possible to then apply to enforce it by way or an attachments of earnings but 'm not sure how easily that would be granted so you'd need to decide whether it's worth getting legal advice and pursuing it . Was the debt to you including in the IVA? 

london21

Better to give what you can afford to lose.

Such situation does not always end well.

goater78

Wyndham said:

Never lend to a friend. It's likely to cost you both the money and the friendship.

Unless you had something in writing, it's unlikely that you'll ever see the money again. And even if you do, it's far from a given.

Sorry - I know that isn't what you want to hear....

I don’t agree with this. Generally lending money to a friend is not likely to cost you the money and friendship. 

I would guess the majority of people who lend money to a friend get paid back without any issues. Obviously in this scenario sounds like the OP has lost the money but this is an exception to the rule. 

london21

goater78 said:

Wyndham said:

Never lend to a friend. It's likely to cost you both the money and the friendship.

Unless you had something in writing, it's unlikely that you'll ever see the money again. And even if you do, it's far from a given.

Sorry - I know that isn't what you want to hear....

I don’t agree with this. Generally lending money to a friend is not likely to cost you the money and friendship. 

I would guess the majority of people who lend money to a friend get paid back without any issues. Obviously in this scenario sounds like the OP has lost the money but this is an exception to the rule. 

Growing up, I observed my mom would rather give what she has than lend money to people including family and friends.

There is a reason because when people want to lend money they are happy with you, when it's time to pay back thats when vibes start to change.

Maybe not everyone but money can ruin relationships both family and friends.