Money Moral Dilemma: Should I share the cash I get selling the hand-me-downs my friend gave me?



  • itisjustmeandmythoughts
    itisjustmeandmythoughts Forumite Posts: 2
    First Post
    If you make some money... take her out to lunch?!  

    Your daughter got use out of the clothes she kindly gave you and if you sell then it might be a nice gesture... would mean she is appreciated, its unlikely she would take the money if offered 
  • bikaga
    bikaga Forumite Posts: 139
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts
    Depends how much you'll make of them. If it's just about enough to cover your efforts then I wouldn't bother. If it's brand stuff in good condition, maybe invite her over for movies and takeaway or invite her out for a cocktail? I'd not bother with ££ in this situation, but I'd personally choose to do something nice for her as a thanks. (This is unless you're really strapped for cash and can use every penny.)
  • JaneHenery
    JaneHenery Forumite Posts: 38
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    If someone GIVES you something it is a gift, it's not a loan. You now own it. There should be no strings attached. You can turn the clothes into art, make tents out them, give them away to charity or sell them. They are your clothes to do with as you will. You need give your friend nothing, any more than you would give her money for the Xmas present she gave you. 
  • JaneHenery
    JaneHenery Forumite Posts: 38
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Ed264 said:
    My view is that you should do the decent thing and offer your friend half of the profits, but I suspect she would refuse to accept them.
    Why? Seriously, why? Do you give your friends and relatives half the money for the Xmas presents they give you? How about birthday presents, meals out if someone is treating you? Do you insist on paying for half of every gift you get? If not, why is it a 'decent thing' to do for someone else? A gift is a gift, it's NOT a loan. 
  • Shebear
    Shebear Forumite Posts: 15
    10 Posts
    A gift is a gift. 
  • JennyC89
    JennyC89 Forumite Posts: 5
    Sixth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    I’d feel uncomfortable not running it by a friend in this scenario. I’d say I’m going to sell them and give you half. They were generous enough to give them to you without asking for any money. If they’re doing ok for money they’ll probably say not to worry and for you to keep it. But you’re going to the effort of selling, they provided the thing you’re selling, half and half sounds fair! Imagine if they did find out later, somehow, that you’d done that without mentioning it. Could cause trust issues in your friendship. The fact that you’re saying they probably won’t know you’ve done it shows you know it’s not right to do it that way. Depends on how much you value your friendship. I’m assuming you’re not flush with cash and this would help you, maybe say to the friend “hey I’m struggling a bit financially and was thinking of selling my little ones clothes, I feel a bit uncomfortable doing it without mentioning to you as you gave some of them. Would it be ok with you?” 
  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Forumite Posts: 85
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    When I was selling my house, my friend asked for a stone bird bath that was in the garden. I gladly gave it to her. Several years later, she sold it on ebay for a big profit. I never saw any of the cash. Offer your friend half the money and stop being a tight wad
  • clarryd
    clarryd Forumite Posts: 636
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    No just do what you want with the clothes, your friend did not want them and gave them to you. Sell them if you want they are now yours. If there is a few quid to make go ahead and make it, by the time you have done all the work of posting them on the internet, selling them and mailing them you deserve the cash. 
    I hope you manage to make a few £ especially with the cost of living so high at the minute.
  • smartwoman
    smartwoman Forumite Posts: 11
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 5 April at 5:51AM
    If you feel guilty give a % to charity, or treat her to lunch. If the donor was me I would say keep it for your trouble -I often give clothes to friends and if they can be bothered to sell them afterwards that is great, I would not expect a share of the profits. 
  • Wasbax
    Wasbax Forumite Posts: 2
    First Post
    Many people are really struggling to feed and/or clothe themselves or their children. You received these clothes as a kind gesture from a friend so can you do the same and pass them on free to people in need. I send clothing to a fabulous charity called The Clothing Bank who have collection points in many places and distribute it to people in real need. See if you have one in your area. 
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