Simplifying Life

mary43

Quick glance in our bedroom just before dinner and I counted four sunhats (normally pop them on if I'm out in the garden).......how many hats can I wear in one given time ?????
I've also accumulated a lot of beads, mostly wooden or plastic as I seem to have an allergy to metal.............half of these I never wear. Usually stick to favourite ones...........same goes with earrings..........can't wear them anymore so I'm passing any really nice ones on to DIL and grandaughter.
I really must have a thorough sort through it all. It could well solve a lot of birthday/christmas pressies at the same time as allowing me to be able to actually see what I've got when I open my jewellry box:j

niglet

I have been trying to declutter my head. I've had a lot of success with the house ect. but letting go of pointless worries and habits is much harder:wall:
Especially where DD's are concerned. Has anyone got any hints for a sad middle aged woman having trouble letting go

ceridwen

...which may just be quite a good place to drop in another post on the ZenHabits blog:

http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/peaceful-simplicity-how-to-live-a-life-of-contentment/

and I think personally I might just make out my own version of the "75 simple pleasures" listed on the link in point 14 of this post and try one each time the little voice starts up in my head "because you deserve it" (aka the advertisers favourite mantra to persuade us all to buy x/y/z).

chalky_75

Niglet --- I think you are probably being too hard on yourself. I bet you are a super mum who just wants the best for your daughter. It is hard to stand back and not worry about them when you can see through the eyes of wisdom that they may be on the wrong track

I am also a worryaholic and am trying so hard to reprogramme myself.

Hope it works for both of us

liuhut

Thanks for the link to the Zenhabits site Ceridwen...just had a quick scan of it and it looks really interesting.
I'm already doing the drive slower bit when I drive to work!!! not to get there late!! but just because going on the dual carraige way got me so stressed. It makes me feel so much calmer just a little thing like that.

alyth

niglet wrote: »

I have been trying to declutter my head. I've had a lot of success with the house ect. but letting go of pointless worries and habits is much harder:wall:
Especially where DD's are concerned. Has anyone got any hints for a sad middle aged woman having trouble letting go

I think that's an important aspect to think of when it comes to declutter - it's spiritual as well as physical. You have to let go of the less important things in life, such as whether you're wearing the right brand of clothes, what people think of you, etc. I can't help with the DDs as I don't have children though!

I find the less possessions and the clearer your home and workplace are, the less you worry about things. You spend less time looking for things, and more time getting on with what's important in your life. A good book is "don't sweat the small stuff" by Carlson. Also, before you go to bed at night, make a list of what you have to be done, thereby making the physical connection, I always think of the fact of putting it down on paper gets it out of your head! I also start and finish each day at work with a list, I'm a PA and run an office of 14 staff, therefore I have constant lists of things such as stationary to order, etc - I have a certain day on which I do certain things, and everyone knows that, and that certainly helps me.

Another thing I've learn is that if you have a worry, think of the worst case scenario - what will the outcome be if something happens. Generally, if you think it through logically, the outcome is not bad at all. A technique I've learnt is that if you have a worry, "hold" the worry, then put it in a mental backpack where you can't see it, and the worry seems to remove itself from your mind - there's a bit more to it than that, but hopefully you can get my meaning!

niglet

The ZenHabits Blog is great. Thankyou Ceridwen. I have just read todays post and I feel better already .
Thanks Chalky75 You are right I think I need to be reprogrammed. I know DH would agree and DDs will like the idea too. A new rebooted Mum, what's not to like?!!!
Seriously though thankyou folks :T

Charis

niglet wrote: »

I have been trying to declutter my head. I've had a lot of success with the house ect. but letting go of pointless worries and habits is much harder:wall:
Especially where DD's are concerned. Has anyone got any hints for a sad middle aged woman having trouble letting go

Niglet, you are not alone! If you find out the answer, please let us all know I have three grown 'children' and one teenager and they used to take it in turns to worry the life out of me. One at a time I could deal with, but just lately :eek::eek::eek::eek:

mary43

niglet - my eldest boy left over 20 years ago..........younger one about 16 years ago and it felt like half of me had dropped off !! I wept buckets.........there was youngest son, all grown up and off to college 'I'll be alright mum' he says..............I said............I'm not worried about you, I know you'll be ok...............its me !!' at which point he came back in and put the kettle on so I had to go through the whole farewell thing again ...........lol
He lives on the south coast and I don't see him often without we make a holiday out of it but for the past four years I've been back and forth to my Mums care home following her stroke. But we keep in touch by phone and letter and it's good that he's created a life for himself and can live independantly (I always brought them up that way).
I'll never stop worrying about both of them..........to me they'll always be my 'little boys' (They'd go potty if they knew I said that...........lol)

Well, I've been out and done some more christmas/birthday shopping - spent £11 (plus £2 for taxi home cos I couldn't carry it all) and got a nice lot of goodies. Spare room is getting fuller by the week with all this stuff but at least its there for a purpose - not just clutter for clutter's sake.
Tomorrow I'll tackle our bedroom of all the odds and sods and jewellry I haven't worn for years............more pressies for folk I think and I might just be able to see the top of my chest of drawers....................:T

moanymoany

ceridwen wrote: »

...which may just be quite a good place to drop in another post on the ZenHabits blog:

http://zenhabits.net/2007/08/peaceful-simplicity-how-to-live-a-life-of-contentment/

and I think personally I might just make out my own version of the "75 simple pleasures" listed on the link in point 14 of this post and try one each time the little voice starts up in my head "because you deserve it" (aka the advertisers favourite mantra to persuade us all to buy x/y/z).

Having heard the dire news about house prices and sales, I need this excellent site to get some balance. At the moment I'm hooked into the 'we should have sold our house last year' mode. I did suggest this and I think dh regrets not agreeing.

We continue to tart up the house because we don't want to simply give up. I feel like the 'prophet' in 'Up Pompeii' - OH WOE, OH WOE