Simplifying Life

Charis

Gers wrote: »

Is it possible to declutter the recently dead from one's thoughts? I find that my brother is increasingly in my mind, cluttering it up. How can one erase that??

I understand it to be a normal process of coping with the death of someone you knew well, whether or not you were close to them. Sometimes we miss them because we were close to them. Sometimes we grieve for the relationship we might have had, had things been different. Sometimes the feelings are so real it is as if the deceased is present with us. When my husband died years ago my daughter and I each had a separate experience of being 'watched' by him in the same place in the garden of our home and it was only by chance that either of us mentioned it. Neither of us could see him, we just 'knew' he could see us. We just made a joke of it, thinking of him coming back, after leaving so abruptly, to make sure we were all right.

Sometimes, and especially if the death was sudden and unexpected, it takes a good while to adjust. Just when you think you have stopped grieving you see some small thing that reminds you of the deceased, and it makes you feel you will never get over them. You will eventually. You never forget, you just move on with your life. Time does make memories less painful.

mary43

originally posted by Gers
Is it possible to declutter the recently dead from one's thoughts? I find that my brother is increasingly in my mind, cluttering it up. How can one erase that??

Not an easy one to answer -I lost my Dad 8 years ago and I could scream sometimes for him to get out of my head but other times I chat away to him as if he's still around (which I'm sure he is, but thats my personal feeling).
I'm finding it hard to part with some of his things that I just felt I had to have as a way of keeping him with me I suppose. He was a great hoarder my Dad so you can imagine all the stuff I 'inherited' that no-one else in the family wanted. Bit by bit its going, either to my two boys or to the history society in the town I was born. Some I've just given away on the freecycle site, the non-personal 'stuff'.
Try talking to your brother........it takes him out of your head for a while. Least thats what I find and can only speak from my own experience.
I wish you well

Mabboo

I decided recently that my life needs a good shake up. My job pays well, but I hate it. We are managing our debts, but we could clear them more quickly. Our (rented) house is beautiful, but full of hoarded junk.

This thread has given me loads of ideas to help us to improve. I had to stop lurking long enough to say thank you to everyone!

I have already decided to change my job, we are ploughing everything into our debts for the next 18 months so I can comfortably move to a lower wage. After reading this I am itching to make a start on simplifying the rest of my life.

ceridwen

Hi Mabboo

Just to wish you good luck in your "journey".

Hope all goes well - glad we've been of service:D

ceridwen

Just found a list of very helpful links on the Dervaes website (recently put on by look of it):

http://pathtofreedom.com/resources/

(then go to "Link directory" paragraph and click the highlighted words "View link directory") - wasnt able to put up the pagename directly - as that didnt work - but this way does.

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One little example I found was how to make your own paint (thinking of springtime home refurbishment coming up for some):


http://www.pioneerthinking.com/milkpaint.html

(I'd be interested to know if anyone has experimented with milkpaint and/or making their own paint - as a couple of rooms in my house need repainting, so am wondering about having a go at this - rather than going off on the hunt for readymade eco paints.)

mary43

ceridwen - I bought some Milk Paint a few years back.........when we worked with oldpine furniture if some was beyond restoring to original wood we used Milk Paint. We bought it from around the antique fairs............smashing paint and once its on, if you buff it with a soft cloth it has a lovely soft sheen to it. You can use it for wood, metal, anything.I even did some plant pots with it. Doesn't wear too well outdoors though.

I've got to get paint tomorrow for my kitchen cupboards and not sure which sort I'll need..........don't want a high gloss finish -not sure vynil emulsion will be durable enough so scratching my head here on that one.
Have a sudden urge to paint everything.................lol

Mabboo - good luck with your 'simplifying'.............I must admit I've not found it easy and have to do it my own snails pace but I'm getting there albeit very slowly.

ceridwen

Thanks Mary

Do you know if milkpaint would be suitable for those rooms that get a bit steamier - ie kitchens and bathrooms?

ceridwen

Hey Mary

Think I've just thought of a new creative project for you - home-made paint:D

Did a quick google and came up with:

www.ibiblio.org/ecolandtech/rural-skills/homemade/homemade-paint

found another one:

www.motherearthnews.com/Do-It-Yourself/2006-10-01/Make-Natural-Homemade-Flour-Paint.aspx

mary43

ceridwen - another project ?????? To add to how many already ????? Stop it - I feel shattered nerves coming on...........not just mine........OH's as well.....................lol

Not sure whether Milk paint would be ok for bathrooms or kitchens. We just used it on furniture and stuff............the colour choice was lovely......all the sorts of colours that were used in days or old.........right up my street.
Wonder if they sell if at Focus Do it All ??? ...........ummmmm:rolleyes:

Oh dear............our lad just arrived back from supposedly being at his uncles for a funeral. Says he's back early as they had to have funeral early.......couldnt afford to keep nan's body any longer ?????? Not making a lot of sense to me at all together with all the things his brother told me last week that he now admits.......well sort of in a rather 'embroidered' fashion.
Now says he'll get a flat...............no job ???? (we've been this route with him before.................lol)
He's now gone out no doubt to think of a more plausible explanation as to why he was at his uncles last Wednesday even though he wasn't........had to go to the hospital but wont say why and just happened to bump into 'undesirable' girl friend while there ? ..............coincidence ? Don;t think so somehow.
Well, he's not stopping me having my little trip out to Focus Do it All tomorrow............and whats more we're taking in Lidls while we're at it as its right next door to Focus.................lol My OH knows how to treat me.............lol

ceridwen

I'm on a roll on this theme:

"The Natural Paint Book" by Lynn Edwards and Julia Lawless

has got recipes in for making ones own.