Scarlett's New Start - saving the pennies and planning a new life for myself!

wildheart83

I have just read your diary and I'm cheering you on from here. No one has the right to treat you so badly, Women's Aid can help you with lots of support and advice, and also help to get you somewhere to live if the thought of staying until you've got £10k saved is too much

WinterWarrior

Do you grey rock/ignore the temper tantrums? I learnt to do that with the first MrWW and once you stop caring it really does help a lot. Life is too short to worry about other peoples tantrums 🌟

ScarlettMcCain

Thank you @wildheart83, much appreciated  I contacted my GP for some help via their online triage form - not expecting much as they are very busy and it's nearly impossible to get an actual GP appointment! - and was very pleasantly surprised when their mental health practitioner called me back later in the afternoon. We had a nice chat and I explained how stressed I am over DP's tantrums, but maybe things would improve for me (in general) if I had some therapy/ medication if needed; I've always been an anxious person but this is tipping me over the edge, I'm finding it hard to eat/ sleep/ concentrate. He thinks it would be beneficial to try a low dose antidepressant as the waiting list for CBT etc is (unsurprisingly!) very long, although apparently the Wellbeing co-ordinator will contact me soon about it. Anyhow, I should receive a prescription soon, then I'll decide whether to take it... if it helps take the edge off my feelings and spur me into action, then it's worth considering.

I do try @WinterWarrior, I definitely grey rock the stream of criticism ("you can't do that because...", "you'd be rubbish at that because...") but he's like a dog with a bone when he gets going. If he'd put aside some time when we could talk properly and decide right, X is a problem, let's do Y to try to help, then that would be one thing... but he won't, he just rants until the stream of consciousness runs out! I can see why your ex is now an ex... 

joedenise

That's great that you've contacted the GP via their online platform and that someone got back to you so quickly.  Definitely take the antidepressant Scarlett.  To start with you probably won't feel that they are doing anything but over time you will find there is a marked improvement.  Remember most medications won't  work immediately.  A very high proportion of the populations need to take antidepressants at sometime in their life.

Your OH sounds are right piece of work!  As suggested earlier read @Kakiste's thread.  She has recently got out of a very toxic relationship and set up on her own with her daughter and is now doing brilliantly.  The link:  https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6145179/its-time-to-begin#latest - it's quite a long thread but she has gone through similar and come out the other side - and so can you.

ScarlettMcCain

Thank you @joedenise, I will definitely read that when I get chance. I've got a chunk of work to do at the moment for a (voluntary!) position I have at one of the DC's sports club, which is taking up a fair amount of time... I didn't realise it would be quite so long when I signed up, but if no one does it then the club can't run, so I'm trying to suck it up and not moan. Incidentally I can't believe quite how many of their clubs/ activities are crying out for volunteers - not sure if it's because not enough people volunteer/ people tend to want paying/ they need more helpers than before because of new rules etc? I do do what I can, but am restricted to events I can actually take the DC with me to!

I haven't started taking the medication yet - haven't had chance to collect the prescription - but am hopeful that that plus some therapy will help. I still see things like budgeting and meal planning as big scary projects that I can't/ wouldn't be able to get my head round, but clearly people do, maybe this will help a bit?

Humdinger1

Just wondering how you are @ScarlettMcCain.  Yes totally recommend @Kakiste - an inspiring story.  Looking forward to your news love Humdinger xx