We're an older couple - which way to jump!

TBagpuss

trailingspouse said:

Thanks thorsoak - yes, I was the same. Married at 19 so went straight from living with parents to living with husband. I was on my own for three years after my 2nd husband left me, and I enjoyed it. And I've worked hard to get the level of independence that I've got (own my own home without a mortgage, and a sensible amount of savings). I enjoy being able to make my own decisions without having to discuss/negotiate/convince.

And we're happy the way we are - either I stay over at his, or he stays over at mine, we spend evenings together, we go to the pub, theatre, cinema, etc, or just watch TV, we both enjoy walking, we've got a couple of holidays booked for later in the year. During the day we tend to go our separate ways unless we've got something specific planned. Life is good.

I've come to the conclusion that - if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Very sensible! If yuo do come round to thinking that you would like to move in together, I'd suggest try it temporarily - maybe move in with him for a few months without selling or renting out your house, so t's easy to undo if either of you find you don't like it. After that, my recommendation would be to sell both properties and buy together as if you move in to his, or vice versa, it's likely it will always be 'his' home not 'our' home - but get a proper declaration or trust and cohabitation agreement drawn up which explicitly defies your respective financial interests in the property, how outgoings will be split, and what happens if you separate . In those circumstances you might also want to update your wills to include provision for the survivor to have a grace period before the property has to be sold, to allow them time to grieve and review their finances, perhaps with first refusal to buy the other's interest in the property from their estate.

BungalowBel

I would each keep your own home and live there, seeing as  they are close to each other. 

Ibizafan

I remarried nearly eight years ago in my 60s after being divorced and living on my own for twenty years. Our original plan was to sell both houses and buy another but eventually settled on living in my house as it was perfect for what we wanted. My husband gave me half the value of my house at the time which was great for me and we rub along nicely. We have so much in common but maintain separate interests and don’t feel the need to be in each other’s pockets 24/7. I had no problem being on my own for many years as I like my own company and was working anyway. However, now I like having someone in the house and discussing how the day has been and our future plans. We both like different TV programmes so have separate rooms to accommodate that. It’s working out really well but marriage in later life is different to that in your twenties in my opinion, and it’s much more of a close friendship with common goals and attitudes. We have separate bank accounts which works well and share all expenses. We are tenants in common and are leaving each share of the house to our own families with the proviso that the surviving person can live there as long as they need to and are able to move if that is what they want. It works for us, anyway.

hildasmuriel

BungalowBel said:

I would each keep your own home and live there, seeing as  they are close to each other. 

This would be my take, also.