Which dating site(s)

ChilliBob

Devongardener said:

Is she happy that you’ve been charged with finding her a partner?  That sound extremely controlling.  

I wouldn’t want any of my family doing this for me.   She’s far better just getting on with her life and see where it leads, there are worse scenarios than being single.

Yeah, she actually seems really happy with the idea. I was having some banter with her about her profile and bigging her up, she seemed to like it. 

Essentially the idea is just you may overlook person xyz but they might be a great person. So, let's help her write a profile that highlights her qualities better than she has and let's we what happens. Of course she could just say nope, that guy doesn't float my boat, fair enough, we tried!

Oh Yes, for sure there are worse scenarios, some people are perfectly happy on their own, others less so.

My wife is a safeguarding social worker, so we're fully aware of how bad some 'relationships' can be - unfortunately something she deals with on a daily basis. 

I highly suspect this won't be overly fruitful, however, my sister in law and wife are both keen!

Sarahspangles

This is the concept behind the “My Single Friend” site - the friend has to agree and you write a testimonial about them.  I don’t have any experience with it but maybe you get a more rounded picture of the individual.

Friends who have used dating sites say there’s not much point signing up for e.g. Classic FM dating and assuming you’ll get classical music loving contacts, they’re just affiliated with the mass sites.

ChilliBob

Sarahspangles said:

This is the concept behind the “My Single Friend” site - the friend has to agree and you write a testimonial about them.  I don’t have any experience with it but maybe you get a more rounded picture of the individual.

Friends who have used dating sites say there’s not much point signing up for e.g. Classic FM dating and assuming you’ll get classical music loving contacts, they’re just affiliated with the mass sites.

Blmey, that's a blast from the past, about 12 years ago some work colleagues were trying to set me up on there!

Also about 12 years ago I tried eharmony and match.com neither really worked for me. I met me wife in person in the end. Guardian soul mates is where one of my friends met his now wife. All of this is quite some time ago though and we'll before the 'hookup' type apps, so I figured the landscape has changed quite a bit. 

I sensed anything you have to pay for may yield better results and have less time wasters, but who knows. 

Sarahspangles

I sensed anything you have to pay for may yield better results and have less time wasters, but who knows. 

It’s a long time ago for me too, unfortunately the one guy I met through a site that screened out time wasters was too serious too quickly!  Ultimately I came to the conclusion that dating sites are a great way to meet people you’d like to be friends with, except you’ve just created awkwardness by telling them there’s no spark, so now you can never be friends.

I think if I was 36 again I’d try park run and/or something like urban sketching, they’re informal and there’s a social element.  Whereas committing to a class is a bit of a lottery as to who else signs up.  I actually met my OH through Ramblers while trying to get fit for a charity hike, I chose Ramblers as my local group was all pensioners, thinking I wouldn’t get hit on!

Sapindus

ChilliBob said:

I sensed anything you have to pay for may yield better results and have less time wasters, but who knows. 

From experience, the Classic FM family of apps, although yes they are all merged into one big pool, are good value in that you can get a good experience before deciding to pay.  Some other sites you can't even see people's faces unless you cough up.  With Classic FM, you can read messages and send one-liners back, even if it's just "sorry I don't think we'd be a good match" which seems polite if someone has bothered.

Joining a social group in the hopes of meeting someone can backfire dramatically when it becomes obvious within the first couple of weeks there isn't actually anyone suitable there, but before you know it you have spent 17 years as a morris dancer.  Again, voice of experience...

caprikid1

Me and my partner met on plenty of fish, have a chat have a coffee and see how you get on.

We are 7 years in 4 children between us with busy professional jobs to manage.

A lot of people come off and back on again quite regularly, don't for one second think paying substantial money for a site is going to make any difference. Both me and my partner would not consider spending anything like some charge.

Met lots of lovely people drank lots of coffee still in contact with a few as friends. Lots of people on POF from all walks of life and all backgrounds.

like many we don't have time to spend joining clubs and societies on the possibility of someone suitable being there. Join a dating site not a book club.

RAS

Suggest she tries a few "singles" walking, skills-based activities holidays? Things she would actually want to do.

Once upon a time women from middle class families would forego their dowry and book on a Mediteranean  cruise advertised for potential husbands. A great aunt "found" her husband there.

A couple of friends found their partners on singles hiking holidays in SE Asia. But don't exclude other destinations. Another friend went on holiday to Australia and hooked up with the guy driving them around in the north west. And a male friend met his soulmate on holiday in NZ. 

strawb_shortcake

Sarahspangles said:

I sensed anything you have to pay for may yield better results and have less time wasters, but who knows. 

It’s a long time ago for me too, unfortunately the one guy I met through a site that screened out time wasters was too serious too quickly!  Ultimately I came to the conclusion that dating sites are a great way to meet people you’d like to be friends with, except you’ve just created awkwardness by telling them there’s no spark, so now you can never be friends.

I think if I was 36 again I’d try park run and/or something like urban sketching, they’re informal and there’s a social element.  Whereas committing to a class is a bit of a lottery as to who else signs up.  I actually met my OH through Ramblers while trying to get fit for a charity hike, I chose Ramblers as my local group was all pensioners, thinking I wouldn’t get hit on!

We chose to attend church for similar reasons and to not just meet the drunks from the pub. Telling my Husband that nearly 80 year old "Ken" made a pass at me was quite unexpected.

shiny76

My brother met his GF on Bumble.  The good thing for your SiL is that on Bumble the women make the initial contact (I believe).  Which means she shouldn't get pestered by loads of blokes just after one thing

Other than that, she has as much chance on Bumble as POF etc
(some sites may attract a more discerning customer than others so perhaps advise her to choose wisely!) 

ChilliBob

shiny76 said:

My brother met his GF on Bumble.  The good thing for your SiL is that on Bumble the women make the initial contact (I believe).  Which means she shouldn't get pestered by loads of blokes just after one thing

Other than that, she has as much chance on Bumble as POF etc
(some sites may attract a more discerning customer than others so perhaps advise her to choose wisely!) 

Nice that's a new one on me, I'll look into it.

Yeah, way back when I was looking into this for myself eHarmony was more like a dating site hybrid with LinkedIn, well, the profiles I was matched to, very corporate. 

Match was more normal, and pof seemed a little more alternative. 12-15 years ago thou