MeandO's money-shuffling

MeandO

Yes, love a de-clutter sugar-walsh. Funny enough, I started reading your diary yesterday and am enjoying your furniture-selling updates. I love to restore furniture too but don't have the space now but have kept a couple of pieces that I've done over the years. If I had a workshop and a big house to fill with lovely furniture I'd be in my element!

sugar-walsh

My house is often filled to the brim with furniture. I'm trying not to now that we have started renovating the kitchen and dining room as I want to keep it nice. Luckily my mum, who lives just down the road, let's me use her garage. In an ideal world I would have a workshop/shop, but that means money and stocking it.

On that note, I'm off to try sell a wardrobe.

MeandO

SW last night and I stayed the same which I'm more than happy about after being 'off plan' for the last two weeks. I looked through my recipe books yesterday afternoon and planned some meals to make this coming week picking up any ingredients I needed for them last night at Aldi. There weren't many bargains there yesterday but I did pick up some prawns @ 75% off and some chicken @ 30% off. I just need to split the chicken up into portions today and freeze it. I used my £25 voucher I was kindly given so the shopping cost me under £15 in cash.
Tonight I'm cooking Keema karai  - an indian mince dish - with low fat mince OH had in his freezer, tomorrow will be a zesty Basa traybake using some frozen Basa fillets I bought in Aldi a while back and haven't got round to using. I usually buy fresh fish but this was much cheaper and I usually just freeze it anyway which defeats the object! 

Last night was quite upsetting and stressful - DS was upset after his narcissistic **** of a father had behaved badly and caused DS huge embarrassment and upset. I had several tearful calls from my boy who had spent most of the evening alone and miserable in his room due to the mood in the house. I wanted to pick him up but DS said no, knowing it would cause issues between him and his father so I just tried to calm him down and cheer him up as much as I could. As any Mum will know it was then impossible to relax and I was short with OH several times which wasn't fair on him. I've been worried about DS ever since so didn't have the best sleep. Narcissists are just horrible people to have to have in your life. I just hope DS sees the truth as he grows up.

I want to continue with the decluttering after work today and also clean the bathroom and dust and hoover the house through.  The weather was so lovely yesterday afternoon that I sat outside in the sun with my recipe books in my spare half hour instead of getting any housework done other than changing the bed and doing the washing. It's grey and colder today so I have no excuse!

MeandO

Well I didn’t get any cleaning done as I had to go and pick DS up from school and drop him to his father’s as he had car trouble once again. It was lovely to see DS and give him a big cuddle and he appreciated the doughnuts I’d bought in for him! He didn’t want to go to his Dad’s, I felt awful having to take him. No ‘thanks’ from his father for picking him up and dropping him off but then no surprise there. 

I picked up a couple of bits in Asda earlier that I couldn’t get at Aldi. No eggs there either though or at the small local Sainsbury’s so I need to hunt some down tomorrow. DS has scrambled egg before school every morning so we get through a lot of eggs. 

Tea was lovely and OH persuaded me to do a 14 mile bike ride beforehand so have got my exercise in today. There’s no gentle meandering involved either - OH is a ‘proper’ cyclist, has been since he was a kid, so it’s pedal as fast as I can without dying type of ride. We do go out a lot in the summer and I do enjoy it despite finding it difficult. Will hopefully help with the weight loss though!

Honeysucklelou2

Wow - a 14 mile bike ride…that’s impressive. Used to love bike rides with my grandad, a lovely way to spend Spring and Summer evenings.

MeandO

Another emotionally draining Sunday with DS's 'post-father's house' behaviour. He said something that really hurt me last night, I ended up crying myself to sleep.

I've chased my CT scan up this morning as my life insurance has now been cancelled until the results of a referral that I believed was made by my GP in January. After much chasing, it turns out the hospital returned the CT request form to my GP in January as the GP didn't sign it.   The GP never sent it back and they haven't actually referred me to the dept they said they were going to. The GP receptionist then told me I have to try and phone and battle for an appointment via the triage system again when it opens to book a phone consultation with the doctor to request they sign the form and send it back - 3 months late. Is it me, or is that just crazy logic? I'm really not sure how much more I can take. I'm just at the end of my rope with everything.

foxandflowers

Hi, 

I found your diary, and thought I'd leave you a comment. I also deal with a narc ex husband, and my daughter's behaviour is always worse after coming home from his. I think she is starting to see what he is like though, at only 8 years old. And I know it can feel so so difficult to always be positive and not speak ill of the ex, so my heart really does go out to you. When she is at her dad's, there aren't any rules or restrictions, but she also spends a lot of time in her bedroom, and the dad's girlfriend won't leave the house without him so they don't spend much time doing things. By contrast, even though I enforce bedtime, limit screens, make her eat vegetables, and brush her teeth twice a day, she gets to do things with us, and spend time as a family. 
If your son is like my daughter, the reason he is lashing out at you, is because he has a lot of big feelings from his time at his dad's house, and he doesn't know how/or feel safe letting those feelings out at his dad's, so unfortunately it all comes your way instead. And as much as it hurts, at least you know you are still his safe place. 

I hope that helps, a bit.

MeandO

Hello foxandflowers and thank you so much for your post, it really did help. I'm going to try and remember it next weekend if things are tough again. I'm so sorry you have the same ex issues, it's an absolute nightmare isn't it. It really drains me and drags me down if I'm being honest. Sending hugs xx

MeandO

It's finally payday, thank goodness. My bank account had around £12 in there for the last week or so and that was after transferring money out from other pots. I've paid back both pots I've borrowed from and added the monthly savings to them so they're looking a bit healthier than they were. £260 has gone to the car pot and £150 to the Christmas pot. I know I have expenses coming up to pay out of the car pot though soon so I need to carry on building that up as much as I can.
I've sent £250 to the EF which is up to £3798.16 now, I hope to get it to the £4K mark this month. £25 has gone to DS's clothes & music tuition pot and another £25 will go to his ISA in a few days. The Ex owes me £62.50 so that will go back in DS's clothing pot when I eventually receive it.

There will be very little sent to the mortgage as an OP this month, just a little to round it down and tidy the numbers up once the interest and mortgage payment show on the account. I'm going to focus on building these savings up as much as I can for now.

MeandO

Chld tax credits and a few other bits have hit the account this morning so £50 has been sent to the car fund to top that up to £500; £77.20 to the EF and a YNAB category topped up a little. I need to make/find £124.64 if I'm to get the EF up to £4K before my next payday. Ex has paid me half of the £60 he owes me - wants to pay in instalments again. Wouldn't it be nice if I could pay for things our son needs in instalments, especially as I work part time and they have two good full time wages in their household! Anyway, that money has gone back into the pot I earmark for DS's clothing and music tuition.