MeandO's money-shuffling

Mrs_Money_Penny

Hope things are ok and enjoying the good weather at the moment xx

MeandO

Thank you HSL2 & Mrs_Money_Penny xx

There's been a bit of a change since I last posted in that I'll be working full time again from next month, 'flexibly' to allow me to pick DS up from school 3 days a week. This all happened in the spate of a few hours as another colleague quit their job after 20 years and it was either I take their full time position or go back to very part-time. The latter would mean a lot less money and no chance of more hours, so I didn't really have much of a choice. I will be earning extra money but the change in tax credits will more or less wipe the difference out, so I won't be gaining a huge amount more. It turns out I am, however, still entitled to £40 a month in child tax credits so I am grateful for that and it also means I should be eligible for the cost of living payments too which will be a huge help.
I've been paid, plus I received a larger CTC payment yesterday so the money shuffle has been completed this morning and YNAB is up to date. Another £525 has been sent to various savings pots and £226 paid off the credit card to clear it after I used it for a few things this month. I have reminded the Ex to pay me the final 'instalment' of money he owes me from two months ago too. That will go straight into the pot I earmark for DS's clothing and tuition etc - if I receive it.
The EF is now up to £4478.38 & both the Car maintenance & Christmas pots have £450 each in them. I did take a bit out of both of them this past month so am kicking myself a bit, but will try to build them up again over the next few months.

I have been finding DS's 'pre-teen' stage really difficult lately. He can be loving and so much fun one minute then being quite unkind and rude to me the next. I didn't cope with his mood very well this morning and we had an argument, now I won't be seeing him for 10 days and not parting on the best terms has really upset me. It doesn't help that I'm really worried about where his father is taking him this week and whether DS will be properly looked after.  
Any advice from parents who've got out the other side of the teen years in one piece would be much appreciated! I'm trying to not take things personally and am trying to let things go and chill out a bit but it's not one of my strong points...

Anyway, it's a lovely day and I have washing to peg out on the line. I hope everyone has a lovely day and can take 10 to enjoy the sunshine xx

millymolly22

I have a DS who is nearly 18 and yes I have found him very hard work in teenage years.  I have two older daughters and thought a teenage boy would be a breeze compared to them but how wrong I was.  Found the best way of dealing with him was to leave him and let him come to me when he needed anything.  The more I got on his back for anything the worse it would be.  Just like most men in general really lol.  Definitely saw an improvement when he left school.  We now seem to be back to the chatty banter that we used to have.  Good luck

MeandO

Thank you so much millmolly22. Everyone (and everything I read) tells me I need to give him space and relax about everything a bit so I need to work on myself for that one. I think maybe because I don't seem him for 3 days out of the week and I have no other family and few friends here, I so look forward to when he comes back from his Dad's that I feel a bit disappointed when he doesn't want to spend time with me or is moody. A lot of that is tiredness with him as he's not a night owl and doesn't get a lot of sleep at his Dad's but I guess it's also normal teenager behaviour though and I have to get over it. I need to find myself something to do in the house whilst he's here and he's not interested in hanging out with his Mum! I read or cut the grass etc sometimes but what the heck else is there to do in this house?! He's too young to leave on his own at the moment and I work here too so these 4 walls are oh too familiar sometimes. 

I went to SW last night and lost another 1lb which was a miracle, as I hadn't been very good all week. Total loss of 1 stone 3lbs so far and I am starting to feel the benefit now, physically. Still a bit to go though, but I'll get there eventually. OH and I are going on another bike ride later this evening so will get some exercise in and will meet up with a couple of his friends in the pub on the way back. I don't really drink at the best of times, so just a soft drink for me which will save lbs and £'s!

I'm going home to see my parents this week, the first time I've gone alone since before DS was born over 12 years ago! It's going to be very strange without him. I'm looking forward to seeing them though and looking after them for a few days. 

Have a good bank holiday weekend all xx

badmemory

Is it possible that DS is feeling resentful at having to go to his father's but is doing it because he feels he has no choice?  Even worse is he going becvause he feels you want him out of the way for a few days?  My DS last stayed at his father's when he was 10 & it didn't go well & he has didn't/wouldn't tell me why.  He's over 40 now & hasn't mentioned his father since except when I bring him up & he just doesn't want to know.  I even kept him away from any negatives until he was over 21.  I really do not like that the kids sometimes are the ones who land up paying the price.  He did nothing wrong so why did his father punish him.

MeandO

Thanks badmemory but I really don’t think it’s either of these, I think it’s just the pre teen hormones kicking in unfortunately. He certainly doesn’t think I want him out of the way, he knows how much I miss him when he’s not around!

badmemory

So pleased to hear that.  I am so lucky that I only had one issue of teen behaviour from my DS.  I think the look I gave him skewered him to the wall though.  He was 14 & had no contact from  his father for over 5 years & at that time I had no maintenance for 3 years.  He came in & told me that women only earned pin money that they could just spend at will.  I'm sure you get the gist.  I told him fine & who was going to pay for the food for his tea then because obviously I was unable to.  He said he was sorry he hadn't thought it was just......  Funnily enough he just gradually stopped seeing that friend.  He obviously saw what was going on & didn't like it.  I had wanted to say you are never going to that friends house again but thankfully I didn't & he told himself.

MeandO

I've received another random payment from child tax credits so have topped up the EF a little to round it up to £4600 in total and paid £63.16 off the mortgage to round it down to £71,400 exactly. There is still some left over but I haven't decided what to do with that just yet.

I've had a lovely few days with my parents so am feeling quite homesick again today. I'm just trying to keep busy at the moment.

This morning a lady has collected something I put on a free FB page and I've sorted out a cupboard which was messy. I have a couple more items to sell but haven't decided where to list those yet.

MeandO

I'd put money aside to take DS away to a theme park type place next weekend, but he has asked if we could go and visit my parents instead as he misses them  so I've transferred the money to the EF. It's now standing at £4854.49 - nearly at the first mini target of £5K. Then to get it to £10K and start throwing money at the mortgage again. DS and I have been talking about holidays and I was planning on taking him away abroad somewhere next year, but after giving him a few options he would rather we go on a slightly further away holiday that we are both keen on in a couple of years time so that is the new holiday savings target too now and something for us both to look forward to.

I did a 'big' shop (around £40) last week as we'd both been away and there was very little in. I will need to top up with milk and a couple of bits today. I also bought some plants for the garden and had a lovely time pottering and planting in the garden at at the weekend. I felt like I'd spent a fortune this weekend but realistically it was only around £28 and was worth it as the garden is looking lovely. I also now have the paint for the garden walls and part of the house too which my Dad very kindly went out and bought for me, so I have plenty of work to do outside whilst the weather's lovely.

I've cancelled my gym/pool membership as I wasn't getting enough use out of it so that's a £30 a month saving from now on. I need to contact 0v0 about the proposed new monthly payment when my fix ends on 1st July as they've grossly exaggerated my annual energy usage they are basing my new payments on despite having all the figures in front of them from the last two years.
I still have a couple of bits to sell, I need to get round to doing those shortly. Oh, I also changed some of my saving 'pots' accounts last night for ones that have a higher rate of interest so should receive a few more pennies in from those.

Honeysucklelou2

Teenage hood is an interesting phase! I noticed that my friend’s sons turned into “grunter” once they had hit the teenage years. I’ve not had that from my boys but have from one DD.