MeandO's money-shuffling

Mrs_Money_Penny

Hope your ok MeandO xx

MeandO

Thank you for checking in on me Mrs_Money_Penny, I’m doing ok on most fronts. 

DS and I spent another weekend with my parents this past weekend. It was lovely to go home again, albeit briefly. It’s so hard to leave every time. My parents very kindly gave me some petrol money which helped with the extra fuel used this month too.

I’ve spent a small fortune taking DS and his friends out to the cinema this week as a bit of a treat and bought some pizzas in to cook in the house beforehand to save costs. They all enjoyed but I did have to have a few words with DS afterwards as his attitude towards me rapidly declined after we’d got home. A shame, as he’s been delightful all week and weekend and we’ve had a lovely time. I’ve been trying really hard to change how I react to negative behaviour and I hope it’s working. I’m finding it a lot less stressful anyway and we seem to have a calmer household. At the weekend, DS disclosed quite a few new things about his father’s house and why he doesn’t always like going there. I felt quite sorry for him tbh and had a chat with him about how I can’t change the issues at his father’s but things will never be like that at our house and that it’s not forever. 

Money wise, I’m doing ok so far this month. My parents kindly gave me a voucher for Aldi at the weekend which I used yesterday to buy fresh fruit, veg, bread and milk etc. I also had to pick up a few bits in Asda but paid with cash from my purse, so transferred the funds from the grocery budget pot to the EF on YNAB afterwards. The total EF now stands at £4900, so close to the £5K figure now.

I’ve made a £5 sale on vinted which should clear tomorrow and I’ve listed another two items. I also started painting the garden walls this week but stopped after half a wall as I absolutely hated the colour once it was on the walls. I’ve tried living with it for a few days but it’s making me wince every time I look out into the garden so I’m going to change it. I’ve sold the remaining paint for the same price it cost (it was a bargain when we bought it) so haven’t lost any money. I just need to buy new paint now though and very much doubt I will get it so cheaply, I will have to try and hunt for a good deal.

I’ve been feeling exhausted this week but still trying with SW. I’m almost at 1.5 stone off now which I’m pleased about. It’s coming off slowly but I feel like I’m doing it right and in a way I can sustain.
I’m feeling the benefit of the weight loss and generally feel much happier in my mood and ability to cope with things. I rarely have those feelings of feeling completely overwhelmed and hopeless as I was a few months ago. I’m sure the healthy eating and being in control of my diet is helping my mental health too.

millymolly22

Well done on the weight loss.  That's amazing and I am sure you feel better.   I definitely need to lose a stone or so but my willpower is lacking.
Regarding your son your access/contact details are yours only to know but as your son is getting to teenage years he does have a choice to speak out and ask for some changes in staying over etc.   By the time my two DDs were 14 or so they used to tell their dad they had alternative plans with friends etc and hopefully as my ex did your ex should accept they are ready to make their own lives.   They actually chose to go with their dad to football matches rather than having contact at his home.   Obviously not all ex's are the same regarding contact.

Honeysucklelou2

Wow, well done on the weight loss, that’s amazing.

MeandO

Thank you millmolly22 and HSL2, yes I'm definitely feeling the benefits of the weight loss, I would still like to lose another 2 stone yet though so still a way to go. I'll get there eventually.

millmolly22, unfortunately I doubt the ex will listen to DS, he hasn't so far. He is a classic narcissist and has shown he's unable to put anyone's wishes before his own. The past two weekends he's supposed to have had DS he has arranged to be away participating in a 'social' sport he does and then following another leisure pursuit on the second day. If I hadn't have said I was having DS he would have been left with ex's girlfriend - not that I found that out until after. It's the same on his days this weekend - he has arranged to participate in one of his own activities and wouldn't have seen DS again. DS is recognising it though and did say in the last week ' If Dad wanted to spend time with me he wouldn't have gone to X.' I just hope he has the confidence to speak up to his father as he gets older though. His Dad turns the guilt on to DS and makes him feel awful and then he spends the next number of weeks trying to make it up to his Dad and putting him on a pedestal. As I said, classic narc.

I think your idea about saying he has arranged things with friends may be the way forward though going forward, I'll remember that one, thank you.

Still doing ok moneywise, although I have had a couple of spends since yesterday. 2 new school polo shirts for DS (£21.50) as he was wearing a jumper in this heat and refused to take it off, saying his shirts were too worn/out of shape to wear alone. WHEN his Dad washes them they come back wide and short, still dirty and smelling awful - I have no idea what he does with them but have given up raising the issue. I re-wash everything that comes back from there and have started replacing ones that are too far gone. 
I also spent around £8 in home bargains on a new watering can (mine had developed two holes in the bottom!), some plant food and pest spray. I also picked up some bits for DS to give to his father on Father's Day which came to around £10 and a couple of birthday cards for upcoming birthdays.
I also placed an order on Amazon for the first time in about 4 months! Don't laugh - I bought DS and I a fun water pistol each for water fights in the garden, a book for DS and some dental floss to make up to the free delivery threshold and because I keep forgetting to buy it when I go shopping. 

This afternoon I have a CT scan. I was referred in January after having traces of blood in my urine for over a year (sorry if TMI) and the fact that I get quite bad stabbing pains on one side of my lower back. My Dad was diagnosed with renal cancer a couple of years ago, had a kidney removed and and is still fighting it in his other kidney so I think alarm bells rang with the GP. Unfortunately, the Dr didn't sign the scan request in January, the hospital returned it to the GP surgery and nothing was ever done. It was only when I chased it up in April/May and had to phone the hospital and then the GP to tell them to sign the form that things were actually done properly   

Hopefully after that OH and I will be able to go out for a bike ride. I haven't been out on the bike for two weeks now and am really missing it. I think my weight loss is missing it too as the scales haven't budged much this week.

MeandO

Another 1lb off at SW last night, going to try and aim for 1.5lb this week so I get my 1.5 stone award

£5 received from Vinted and sent over to the EF pot. I've also spent a lot less on groceries so far this month so took £21.06 from that pot and sent it to the EF to take it up to £4950. The tax credits get paid this week so I am hoping to be able to send another £50 to the pot then to reach £5k. Next is to try and get it to £10K and then start throwing everything at the mortgage again.

foxandflowers

Hope the CT scan went well. You're doing so well with your savings - I'm very impressed! xx

Drawingaline

My hubby stopped going to his dad's at 13. He kept 'missing the bus' and when his mum said do you want to go, he just said, no, he ignores me unless he wants a cup of tea made. So he just stopped. By that age they can't be forced, and I know the courts take the child's preference into consideration over a certain age.

Good luck with it all.

MeandO

Thank you foxandflowers and drawingaline xx

It’s been a bit of a rough week after spending the best part of 24 in A&E with OH at the weekend. Without going into detail, he’s OK but we’re now monitoring his bp as it’s through the roof despite him being fit, active and eating healthily. I have been really worried about him this week and I’m exhausted. I’ve actually taken myself off to bed this afternoon as I feel so tired, but haven’t been able to sleep. The upside is that amongst all of this I lost 4.5lbs this week so reached my 1.5 stone achievement and am only 4lbs away from 2 stone down now.

I’ve been paid today so have shuffled the funds around into various pots. There’s £5200.56 in the EF so I’ve reached my first goal of £5k, the next target is £10K. There’s £600 in my car maintenance/house pot and £600 in the Christmas pot too so they are building up nicely.

Mrs_Money_Penny

Sorry to hear about OH. Good weight loss but not the way you want to lose it. Take care xx