Disinheritance due to Lottery win

Pollycat

I really don't understand this feeling of entitlement to an inheritance - especially when someone whose money/assets it is is still alive.

Sea_Shell

Pollycat said:

I really don't understand this feeling of entitlement to an inheritance - especially when someone whose money/assets it is is still alive.

I don't see it as an "entitlement" but more about being feeling snubbed by family JUST because you've come into money.   

Malthusian

Marcon said:

Why? The executor clearly correctly guessed how you'd react, so it's hard to see why they would tell you other than to make trouble. Now you've won the lottery, you certainly don't need to re-plan your life just because a potential inheritance of £55K won't be coming your way.

It's none of their business to disclose the contents of the will (many executors don't have a clue what's in the will until the testator actually dies), and doing so has certainly rocked the boat, spoiling your relationship with your grandfather in the remaining years of his life.

This is a classic example of "there is no such thing as a secret known by two people". If the grandfather didn't want the OP to find out, all they had to do was not disclose their Will to anyone. Once the cat was out of the bag it was almost inevitably going to run to the OP (the person it most affected). Ultimately it's down to the grandfather.
Anyway, the grandfather clearly thought that the OP wasn't strong enough to handle the information. (And wasn't strong enough himself to simply keep a lid on his new Will and resist the temptation to tell the rest of his family what a marvellously fair person he is, but that's a separate issue.)
The OP now has the choice of confirming his grandfather's opinion of him by making a big deal of it, or shrugging his shoulders and reacting the same way he would as if his grandfather's estate had been eaten up by equity release or care costs and the entire family got £0.

Gavin83

Marcon said:

GenieBoy said:

Also I wasn't to be told about this and I'm only meant to find out after the event but the executor thought it was only right that I was told. Although the Grandparent doesn't know that I know.

spoiling your relationship with your grandfather in the remaining years of his life.

This is on the grandfather. I suspect the reason they didn't tell them was because they didn't want to spoil the relationship. Alternatively they don't want the money the OP seems to be providing to family to dry up. Either way it's not acceptable.

The grandfather has decided it's better for the OP to have a poor opinion of his grandfather after death, plus potentially ruin their relationships with other remaining family than to deal with the issue now. There problem isn't necessarily disinheriting (although that's a discussion in itself) but the complete lack of communication and regard the OP. All it needed was for the grandfather to sit them down, explain why they were leaving the money to the sister and that would have likely resolved it.

It's really up to the OP what kind of relationship they wish to have with their family after this.

bobster2

Gavin83 said:

Marcon said:

GenieBoy said:

Also I wasn't to be told about this and I'm only meant to find out after the event but the executor thought it was only right that I was told. Although the Grandparent doesn't know that I know.

spoiling your relationship with your grandfather in the remaining years of his life.

This is on the grandfather. I suspect the reason they didn't tell them was because they didn't want to spoil the relationship. Alternatively they don't want the money the OP seems to be providing to family to dry up. Either way it's not acceptable.

The grandfather has decided it's better for the OP to have a poor opinion of his grandfather after death, plus potentially ruin their relationships with other remaining family than to deal with the issue now. There problem isn't necessarily disinheriting (although that's a discussion in itself) but the complete lack of communication and regard the OP. All it needed was for the grandfather to sit them down, explain why they were leaving the money to the sister and that would have likely resolved it.

It's really up to the OP what kind of relationship they wish to have with their family after this.

The OP has said nothing about providing money in a significant way to the rest of the family on an ongoing basis. Or whether they've given significant one off monetary gifts. OP referred to buying out some equity that the sister has in a property. So buying something from her - not gifting her something. And spending a lot on the grandparents at christmas (presents I assume). But nothing about providing money to the family.

Perhaps OP wants to come on and tell us how much they've given the rest of the family? They seen to want to quantifying their grandfather's generosity in £££ - so perhaps they'd like to quantify their own generosity in £££ and readers can then form a judgement.

GaleSF63

Perhaps it didn't occur to the grandfather that he didn't have to let the executor know what was in the will, and almost certainly didn't expect him/her to go round telling people. Grandfather may be planning to discuss it with OP at some point.
What is the relationship of the executor to the grandfather?

Lola_balola

It may not be fair but it does sound equitable.

I guess it boils down to whether you and/or your grandfather measure relationships/human value in pounds? 

You haven’t shown yourself in the best light here. It is crude and entitled to ‘contest’ the will of a man who is still alive, and some might say greedy to quibble over £50ishK when you have a guaranteed annual income of more than double that for life.

think carefully about what’s upset you. Is it the loss of money you consider should be yours? Or is it a feeling of not being loved/valued by your grandfather? If it’s the former then I’d stay quiet and be grateful for the ££ you have. If the latter then I’d speak to him gently and carefully to explain how you feel, without mention of money. 

Pollycat

Lola_balola said:

It is crude and entitled to ‘contest’ the will of a man who is still alive, and some might say greedy to quibble over £50ishK when you have a guaranteed annual income of more than double that for life.

It is impossible to contest the will of someone who is still alive.

bobster2

Pollycat said:

Lola_balola said:

It is crude and entitled to ‘contest’ the will of a man who is still alive, and some might say greedy to quibble over £50ishK when you have a guaranteed annual income of more than double that for life.

It is impossible to contest the will of someone who is still alive.

Lola_balola clearly put 'contest' in quotes to show they didn't meant it in the literal legal sense.

SusieT

Why not go and visit your grandfather, tell him that as you have won a life changing amount of money you would like him to change his will to take you out of it as you think it would be fairer that way. But ask that instead of money you get to choose an item that you can remember him by.  To be honest, had I won that amount I would have been happy that I was excluded from the will, and would probably have suggested it myself once the initial few months of having that sort of money available had gone past, and requested that I just get a specific item instead.
The only downside to that is if the executor has already told him they have not behaved very well and have already told you the situation.