Dilemma, Dilemma, Dilemma

Hello,

I've been on MSE for many moons, gone through debt repayment and many challenges but this one feels the absolute worst.

I'm kind pre 'mortgage free wannabe' but also needing the comfort blanket of a good ole MSE diary.

So current situation, co-parenting with Ex H. We both have partners and everything is friendly. We currently live in the same area, 10 mins apart down south. He owns our old property. I was bought out and we currently rent.

All was going well until we were recently hit with a massive rent rise that we can't afford. We have a decent landlord and negotated a reduction but its still going to be tough as we were only just managing before this. We do though expect the landlord will come back next year with another big rent increase and for us it will be game over and we have to leave. Rents in our area have gone through the roof and what we are realstically going to be able to get is not going to be big enough to suit our needs, so this is likely to mean a big move to somewhere else. The 'somewhere else' we (actually me!) just can't decide.

We are a tricky mix of needs. My partner is semi retired and actually getting ready to down tools. He will be getting his state pension in a few years as he is mid 60s. I have kids from my marriage that are school age. I would like to stay close to the kids to continue our co-parenting which works really well. I own a small property which is rented out, the tenant is really happy and wants to stay long term (she has some needs which make this property suitable for her) and I really don't want to change this. It works really well. The property is up north and the rent income forms part of my monthly income. Last year my partner bought a holiday rental in the same town as my property and we are running this as a little business.This is still in its infancy and isn't yet making profit. My partner and I both work part time. I'm WFH 100% which is really handy and don't want to make any changes to this as the flex is brilliant.

Our original plan was to carry on renting here and then when the kids were old, we move up north. Maybe taking back the holiday let or rental property to live in. However this dilemma has come much earlier than I ever intended. Last week I was absolutely heart broken but this week am needing to start formulate a plan.

We would like to get ourselves off the renting rollercoaster. Its going to be really challenging and I am personally going to have to make some changes which are going to be be a challenge in themselves.

One option is sell both places - as these are small places. This would still only mean a tiny amount for a property down south and due to part of my income coming from the rental income i'd loose its unlikely we could qualify for a mortgage.

Option 2 - Look for something else to rent outside of current area. - Potentially doable, but where and how far we'd have to go am not sure.

Option 3 - Look at getting a mortgage and using small deposit to buy a base home up north but then travel frequently down south to visit the kids. NB - the kids can stay with their dad without having to move. There is no concerns about this.

Current train of thought is to speak to an indepdent mortgage advisor and find out if and how much myself and my partner may be able to borrow with the different combinations. Any mortgage would be max 100k and i'd expect max 15 years.

Thank you to anyone who actually made it to the end. Its a lot to take in.
2024 financial goals & challenges

1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

5). Keep debt to a minimum.

Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
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Comments

  • It feels better having written this down, kinda makes it all a bit more real. Its been whirling for so long, so problem shared, problem halved an all that.

    For today this is enough of a step forward.
    2024 financial goals & challenges

    1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

    2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

    3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

    4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

    5). Keep debt to a minimum.

    Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
  • Oh what a tricky situation. I don’t have any easy answers. I think Prioritising the co parenting is important, if you’ve got something that works don’t jeopardise it. It limits your options though. 
    I think finding out what is doable is a good first step. 
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  • Oh what a tricky situation. I don’t have any easy answers. I think Prioritising the co parenting is important, if you’ve got something that works don’t jeopardise it. It limits your options though. 
    I think finding out what is doable is a good first step. 

    Thanks for your kind words @powerpowers. I agree, kids are priority which really does make things tricky but not impossible.
    2024 financial goals & challenges

    1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

    2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

    3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

    4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

    5). Keep debt to a minimum.

    Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
  • Queen_of_the_Hive
    Queen_of_the_Hive Posts: 1,037 Forumite
    First Post Photogenic Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited 18 February 2023 at 7:41PM
    So I've had a reasonably productive day.

    We were meant to be going out but the kids didn't want to go so instead enjoyed relaxing time at home. Did some of the boring cleaning chores before settling down with a mid afternoon movie. The movie sweets bought last week from @&m went down a treat.

    Myself and OH had a bit of a chat about everything and we have a preferred option in mind. We think we may need 6 months worth of bank statements to give a more realistic idea to a mortgage advisor how our figures stack up. OH is back at work this weekend and so will download them from his work PC. I believe his work may also have an option for discounted or free mortgage advisor. OH is tasked with finding out more too. This would be handy if true!

    We've had a little boost to the business. 3 bookings have come in, 2 are peak ones for decent length of stay and one short stay in Spring.

    Happy Saturday everyone.


    2024 financial goals & challenges

    1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

    2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

    3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

    4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

    5). Keep debt to a minimum.

    Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
  • newgirly
    newgirly Posts: 8,917 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Sorry to hear you have this now hanging over you, it’s scary how much rent seems to be shooting up. Feel free to not answer but you said one possibility is to move up north and visit the kids in the south as they can be based with your ex, Could you afford anything tiny where you are or even vaguely near? The kids still living with Dad but you are nearer so able to see them more often? 
    2022 MFW 67 - 33 month challenge to clear mortgage, month 17 completed and and extra 2 knocked off 🙂MFI3 No.12
  • SadieO
    SadieO Posts: 433 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I believe his work may also have an option for discounted or free mortgage advisor. OH is tasked with finding out more too. This would be handy if true!

    You should be able to easily find an independent free mortgage broker. Ask around your friends and colleagues. Please don't pay for one, or get one that's tied to a particular lender or institution. Get an independent, whole of market one. They're one of the few things you can get for free in the house buying process! 
  • You do have some tricky decisions to make but it sounds like you have a little time to take with it.

    How near to finishing school are your school age children?
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  • newgirly said:
    Sorry to hear you have this now hanging over you, it’s scary how much rent seems to be shooting up. Feel free to not answer but you said one possibility is to move up north and visit the kids in the south as they can be based with your ex, Could you afford anything tiny where you are or even vaguely near? The kids still living with Dad but you are nearer so able to see them more often? 

    HI @newgirly, this is an option we are exploring in the mix. The current sums don't look too favourable for this. We are just a bit too short I think but yeah this would be preferred.
    2024 financial goals & challenges

    1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

    2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

    3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

    4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

    5). Keep debt to a minimum.

    Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
  • You do have some tricky decisions to make but it sounds like you have a little time to take with it.

    How near to finishing school are your school age children?

    Hi @t@Tiredbutdetermined, we are mid road with the school ages - just starting secondary for the first and mid primary for the second.
    2024 financial goals & challenges

    1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

    2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

    3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

    4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

    5). Keep debt to a minimum.

    Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
  • Good Morning, just wanted to say thank you for comments posted so far. I feel a bit more upbeat than I have been. All options will be explored. I recon we are 50k short on current prices to buy something small but suitable. There is no bank of mum and dad but I know we have made the most of our current circumstances and are trying what we can.

    For now I am going to try to get another income stream coming in and look for a second job to boost up the savings pot and potential mortgage. I'm already doing surveys, Prolific etc and while they don't bring in much the little bits help 'to build mountains'.

    Happy Sunday <3
    2024 financial goals & challenges

    1). Mortgage (started Jan 2024) £120,692.14 / £122400. Overpayment total: £110.68. 89% remaining.

    2). #7 Save 1p a day challenge 2024 £60/£780

    3). £1610/£3000 in Investment ISA (21/50 investments)

    4). Increase cash savings & saving pots

    5). Keep debt to a minimum.

    Favourite quote: 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get!' Forrest Gump
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