Feeling desperately inadequate

TryingHard_2

My son who is only 25 has been an alcoholic for 4 years. He has tried detox 3 times but each time he has relapsed. Every aspect of his lift is in total chaos and various members of the family are withdrawing their support. He has the worst liver results his doctor has ever seen in someone his age and if he continues to drink he probably has about 5-6 months to live. I feel so inadequate as I don't know what to do to help him. I know there's nothing anyone on this site can do to help in a practical sense but I just need a bit of emotional support at the moment. I don't have anyone I can talk to. Sorry.

chris30_2

Hello tryingHard I don't have any advice for you just a big hug, I work with an Alcoholic so I know what it is like, although not a family member I am responsibile for him and its very hard at times, so for a family member I cannot imagine how hard it is for you.

Good Luck
xx

pookienoodle

Hi,
I am so sorry about your son.
I am afraid I have no experience of these matters as my son is only 18mths old.
I just wanted to reply to let you know someone will be along shortly with good advice.
you are obviously A very caring parent.
I wish you luck with this.
pookienoodle

blondie223

Hi Trying Hard i am sorry to hear of your troubles if you go to the health board there is a alcohol self help forum. I know them guys have been through it and maybe able to offer you advice.

Thinking of you

TryingHard_2

Thanks for your replies and your good wishes ..... it's nice to know there is someone there! I didn't know there was a alcohol self help thread on this site. I will attempt to find it. Thanks.

blondie223

Sorry i dont know how to post the link but if you go to marriage relationship then sub heading health beauty it is there new self helf alcohol thread.
Im sure the lovely people there will be able to advise you

djdido2

Just want to send you huge (((hugs))) and my best wishes. You have alot to cope with. Stay Strong OP, you have alot of support around here.

xxx

Dido

belfastgirl23

This must be so hard. I know a little bit having seen alcoholism in my own family but can't imagine how much worse it would be seeing it in your child. I know a close friend found alanon useful to help her come to terms with her husband's alcoholism, even just to share experiences of what it was like living with this - the website is http://www.al-anon.org/

The alcohol self help thread might also be a useful starting point for you as well. here's the link if you can't find it http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=514854

Just also to say you aren't alone. There are millions of people out there in a similar situation.

Good luck to you, there aren't really words but thinking of you...

scoot1on1

Can I recommend you get him a book Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol ...you may think to yourself he has tried counselling etc and relapsed how will a book work?
This book is written from an alcoholics perspective it makes you think about things in a different light and why you do this to yourself.
I haven't had a drink in over 3 months after reading it.

I do wish you all the best and your son also .... hope it all works out for you both

snowmaid

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Watching a member of one's family destroy themself is torture.

Unless they admit they have a problem, there is little one can do. They have to sink into the very depths of hell and either they live through it and pull themselves out or they sink.

When they are ill, they don't realise the hurt they are causing, or, they are aware but they cannot help themselves. However, this does not mean you have to pander to them and this is where tough love comes in.

You son has to realise that his whole lifestyle has to change. He cannot go into detox and then come out into the same situations and friends.

Contact a service such as FRANK or AA who help families to cope.

Good luck

ameliarate

My heart goes out to you, we had problems with my nephew on drugs, now off them (though on methadone). I work in a hospital where people come for alcohol detox and it is the follow up after the detox that is perhaps the most important thing, and the counseling during it. We do see people relapse but there are more successes. It is so hard and it depends entirely on his state of mind going into the detox - has he been to NHS establishments previously? Unfortunatey private is very expensive but I do believe they give better psychological support.

I sincerely wish you all the best and hope your son can recover from his alcoholism.