Snug & Sorted: Our Race to Mortgage Freedom

kaycastle

April was an expensive month!! For good reasons though:

• £400 on big bed for child, including bedding. The bed transforms as he grows so will last well into teenage years hopefully
• £140 on new running shoes for OH (Its his main fitness hobby and his never had proper shoes to stop blisters etc. )
• Dentist, tickets for a music festival in summer for OH
• Inevitably lots more eating out than usual and more petrol - we had our 4 days away as family, a night away for ourselves child free, and also visited parents/friends 

Total spend £2500...yikes!! I am strangely pleased though because this is close to our monthly spend before decided to be more frugal and focus - but we've been away, whole new bed and other necessaries.

Leftover is £860 - so we have £172 for savings and £688 for overpayments.

I need to get OH to open a savings account and then will organise savings. I've sent the overpayment so that's done.

LadyWithAPlan

kaycastle said:

I've found something to occupy my time a bit/use to learn more technical skills that solves a real life problem for me and naturally I've got started right away 

I think meal planning is great but I find it time consuming and boring and still feel like I waste food as I'm not good enough at making sure I'm picking meals that sharing ingredients - just don't have time/concentration levels.

So I've decided to build my own automatic meal planner using google sheets and python. Crucially I refuse to pay any money to any API or other products that do this anything which pretty much means a lot of data input for me at the beginning. 

Two things I want it to be able to do at first:

• Generate a meal plan that uses up all fresh ingredients on the shopping list, and fulfils other criteria like 2 veg meals, slow cooker meals on certain weekdays etc. etc. and keeping things varied and healthy
• Generate the shopping list
• Keep track of what meals we've done/what ingredients are left/what's in the cupboard etc. 

And I'll benefit from the learning...

This sounds like a great project ! 

Sp great you and OH are on the same page and certainly saving 5 years of mortgage payments is v motivating - well done ! 

That mortgage has no chance 

South_coast

Hey Kay, just checking in for your May/June update?

kaycastle

Hiya @South_coast

Sorry lovely I went quiet for a bit with everything going on...

This still feels so weird to say but have a big life update.

I'm getting divorced. I'm okay emotionally about it but its quite a big upheaval - especially financially.

So I don't risk rambling on:

• We're just about getting by living together - have our own rooms etc. 
• Getting valuations and putting house on the market at the moment
• Existing savings and equity will be split 50:50....anyone who has followed along will know that most of the financial effort in our relationship was mine....but I would rather it all eventually go to my son rather than lawyers and I don't want to waste any time on earth fighting over not huge amounts. Although it did sting that he described 50:50 as "fair"     I am never getting married again!
• I have managed to get in writing that any savings made from the time of our separation date is our own
• I have to live in this relatively new location for the sake of being close to my son...I quite like it here so that's okay I guess but poor timing on that move...custody will be 50:50
• I am actually quite excited about finding a small cosy place for myself
• I have genuinely felt quite happy and like I can be myself again

In err good news I am getting a promotion at work so that's nice. 

South_coast

Oh, bless you 🩷 I am so sorry to hear this (but glad that you seem to be OK about it). I love the idea of you finding somewhere cosy, make sure you come and tell us all about it once you're sorted. I hope you manage to sell the house quickly and move on. 

And well done you on the promotion, that's a cracking achievement with everything else you've had going on 😘

beanielou

Sorry to hear but glad you are feeling upbeat. Well done on your promotion. 

ladysummerisle

Right, let’s think of the positives..

No compromising.

When my friend got divorced she was able to regain a sense of self. Plus some time to herself. (I’m assuming compartmentalising may help with inevitable emotions over shared custody).

Free childcare hours / school before you know it. Financially this should help. 

50:50 or not, you’re still in a much better position than had you not made the financial sacrifices already. 

You’re still young and you’re not wasting any more time.

—

I’ve started a book - Wintering, by Katherine May. Would recommend.

KajiKita

You’ve had some big things going on …
If the relationship isn’t working for you both any more then it’s better to call it sooner or later and move on. 

Once the settlement is all done and with your promotion (congratulations on that 😊), do you have a sense of what your budget will be for a new home?

KK

debtfreewannabe321

Hi Kay, I came to reply when I saw you post this but had to run so left my half written response. I am so sorry you're going through this. Divorce is such an individual thing to go through, some are happy to regain their freedom, some feel a bit scared of going it alone, so if you're up and down - big hugs, it is a rollercoaster. I know I was through mine. Glad you have got the promotion at work, hopefully that will help you secure a nice home for you on the other side of this. It sucks when you've been the one pushing to sort finances, budget and save, and pay down the mortgage and then the other party gets 50-50 effectively for all the work you put in, but at least you can do what you want going forward and don't have to run it past anyone. I think you're sounding very upbeat considering all going on, we're all here rooting for you, hope you'll be back more often  

kaycastle

Thank you all - your words give me even more strength and positivity

@South_coast Thank you so much - I'm hoping it sells quickly too so I can get completely my own space. I keep browsing at properties and dreaming.

We are still at early stages - I've waited to push any practical things and it looks like its still all falling to me on that front lol - but I have booked in valuations over the coming weeks. I also don't want to rush as don't want to undersell - unless it takes forever of course. I'm excited to get it on the market - have already started to deep clean so it looks its best

I've been doing lots of decluttering and will start to do more serious selling now that I've got in writing that any savings I make are my own now.

Thank you @beanielou

@ladysummerisle Thank you!! I already feel more myself than I have done in years too - I feel really amazing if I'm honest. I'm so excited to just be me - with parenting of course  

I feel like I will be in a good place financially going forward - thank you for the book recommendation. 

@KajiKita It took so long for me to finally make the decision but I suddenly felt brave enough and I honestly feel so relieved and happy.

@debtfreewannabe321 Thank you Its a lot of stress and change but I honestly feel very happy - my friends describe me as glowing. I feel really happy about my upcoming divorce. Sounds so terrible but I do!

In terms of budget - I could go higher but I've seen what I need for as little as £230k round here.... My budget might range from 230-280.  I should hopefully get £100k+ equity from this I reckon....and have started doing lots of saving.

Crucially I want a small cosy base to live my life from, just needs 2 bedrooms for my son as well - but I mostly want as much financial freedom as I can for travelling and having fun. 

I sound like I've become a total hedonist and a little part of me has