Second Chances! Life in a Tourer

SueP19

Morning Debt Busting peeps

Yesterday saw the weekly shopping/laundry trip. I have to say I am enjoying Lid! I just don't feel ripped off, it's not without its fraught dangers.......MrP loves the middle bit, so having had a few terse words already (MrP loves spending, we had already had a list of "must buys" this has been largely why we have debt riddled all our life, that and the ensuing temper tantrum, followed by aggressive nastiness and my weak personality willing to please) I entered with adult toddler in tow. He went off happily whilst I tensely added fruit/veg to the trolley. Tbh I thought he had gone back to the car but no he was trying to find me to 'show me stuff' he proudly pointed to an impact driver!!! All the while spouting 'shame its £70' I have to say I was flabbergasted and couldn't stiffle the incredulous look followed by the "we don't have a !!!!!! house 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️" Not quite the win though as we bought rubber car mats, a serious must have for our car 🤣 
The vape shop was a bit expensive but it did give me the opportunity to 'discuss' the Lid! incident with "you don't have to treat yourself everyday" speech. Especially as he muttered about buying wool, we had only just bought £50 worth the other week
I'm determined this time to be strong, I keep saying to him "rich" people act poor and only poor people fall into the trappings of spending and when I have adult MrP it works, when cptsd MrPs here it's a sheer panic and demand that I prove we aren't poor........but we are poor, ps if no proof is offered it's a complete depressive/suicid*l meltdown! 

Anyway on reflection it was a small win, I just have to keep going 

Hopefully today will be a NSD but we have to collect bulbs from am*zon locker 

Going to start a lacy shawl pattern I've just written yesterday so fingers crossed that goes well 

Sue x

beanielou

I have looked.
Waiting for something that catches my eye!

SueP19

beanielou said:

I have looked.
Waiting for something that catches my eye!

Thanks ❤️ 

SueP19

Morning Debt Busting peeps

Busy morning so far with fridge inventory list, bear stock list, medication for week, split budget to weekly and today's to do list already done this morning

NSD at 8 and Tilly Tidy at £16.43 

I've taken the step to split my budget out to weekly, fortnightly pay is a nightmare!! Having worked out what I should be spending plus saving for yearly etc it comes to £494!!! a week and that's without debt busting. Totally ridiculous 🙄 😒  but it does include YNABs true expenses, sinking funds and hopefully will generate buffering over time. I think I'll do a YNAB post about sink/buff/EMF as it's taken me ages to get my head around that, will help putting pen to paper

Later today (after dog walk) I'm going to research the survey websites, if anyone has clues on who's good 

Knitting didn't quit go to plan yesterday because I wrote another pattern, real quick and easy, might give that one out for free 🤔 

Must draw, cut and tack bear today 

Humdinger1

@SueP19 just popping in to say how much I'm enjoying your diary!  I sympathise re your DH switching between modes; my first husband did that....do you run the spending in your household? You'll have thought of this already but solo shopping or even online groceries might be better.  I know the latter is more expensive but it might be cheaper than OH's additions?  Thing is, there's a vast industrial machine devoted to getting people to spend and making you feel that your worth as a human is equal to your spending....er, no.  Not on these boards anyway! It is scary when you first wake up to it but you are doing brilliantly.   Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

SueP19

Hi @Humdinger1 thanks so much for enjoying it

I used to do all the shopping alone, pre his heart attack. Its a multiple issue, he doesn't trust himself to be alone, we know he would have been dead had he been on his own, he chose to ignore it, plus he's very old style too, we are in a new area to live so he worries about me driving 🤦‍♀️ especially as I had a big smash Sept 21, yes I can drive across the centre of London but can't tell him that.

He buys that advertising hook line and sinker, a marketing dream my MrP 

Hopefully his middle isle addiction will fade.....one can dream 🤣

Baileys_Babe

Could you make a game about the shopping? Possible having a trolley each and half the list and see who can complete their list first and or stick to the list best. 

Both my OH and dd love the middle, where possible I shop without them or I try to distract them with tasks like getting the milk etc.

I wish I could offer some suggestions to help your husband to be more comfortable being alone as it must put a strain on you.

SueP19

Baileys_Babe said:

Could you make a game about the shopping? Possible having a trolley each and half the list and see who can complete their list first and or stick to the list best. 

He wouldn't stick to it, get ratty and dump his trolley lol 

Thanks tbh I need to stick up to him rather than indulge him, he admits he knows his fear of appearing poor is irrational so its progress of a sorts 

[Deleted User]

I actually disagree with your comments about Nectar points. I find them quite useful. I usually aim to make £150 a year which covers most of the Christmas food extras for very little effort. The nectar app also gives you some good offers. Likewise my Boots Advantage card. I aim for £150 a year. I can buy several presents for that amount. It’s like free money. 

Your groceries spend is ridiculously high. Myself and an older relative I live with probably spend about £300 a month and that includes household products as well as food. We shop mainly at Sainsbury’s and Marks and Spencer’s. We tend to buy the household products at Home bargains.
M&S Sparks can be useful too. In December I was sent £50 of worth of food vouchers. Reward for buying clothing and food. A useful bonus.

Blackcats

My OH likes middle aisle too but we've turned it into a joke now - I do the serious shopping and he deliberately comes back with the most ludicrous suggestion of what we absolutely didn't plan to buy including an arc welder and trampoline.  We have a laugh and then walk away from the arc welder etc.  like shopping with a toddler but it works ok.  This week though he is after some thermal leggings but I'm ok with that given current artic conditions.