2023 Fashion on the Ration Challenge

Laura_Elsewhere

@Liverpool_Anne, yes, you are right - we think we'll leave things there which can be very deeply-cleaned - two chairs of Gran and Grandaddy's which need re-upholstering in any case, so when eventually we move, we can have them professionally fumigated, stripped back to the wood and treated, and then upholstered completely new, that kind of thing. And some books, if boxed and up on shelves in their boxes. 
If needs be we will hire a small storage unit and emply a pest control company to handle the stuff en route, so we move it from parents' to pest control and from there to storage. But we hope we can get rid of so much that we can use the shelves with boxes... 
I am contacting a second-hand bookshop I know and trust - I have about five thousand books there and am now working out how to face the fact that at least 80% of them must go. I cannot allow books to become damaged, so if I can't keep them safe, then they must go to people who can. 

MrsCD

Oh, Laura, how awful for you to find your belongings in that state. I'm sure your parents don't mean to hurt you, but as pollywollydoodle said, if you haven't needed any of them in 8 years, are there a couple of things that you could salvage and get rid of the rest? Maybe if you were taking some of your things to the tip, you could ask if they wanted anything taken too?
Sending lots of sympathetic hugs xx

PipneyJane

@Laura_Elsewhere big hugs.  You must be feeling very frustrated as well as disappointed and bereft.  Good luck with the books, etc.  When I had a storage unit, while we were dealing with DH’s dad’s stuff and then doing building work, it cost about £160 a month, for something about half a garage in size.

I have another lurgy.  The second in just over 2 weeks.  On Tuesday, actually felt human…by yesterday afternoon, I was coughing again.  This time, I have a tickle around the base of the tongue.  Nothing else, just an overwhelming need to cough violently every so often, which is affecting my voice. 

- Pip

Gem-gem

Laura, I am so sorry to hear about your clothes / your belongings. My stepfather is in his final days, I am down at my Mum's supporting her and also starting to clear excess stuff that they have. For example: last night I found: a box file of used envelopes, which had been written on; lots of empty Horlicks containers; lots of empty plastic pill containers; several years of online food orders all printed off and in a folder; bank statements and insurance documents since 2000 etc; two wardrobe full of male coats; ten toothbrushes still in their packaging; six hair brushes still in their packaging. When they moved four years ago I counted twenty backpacks/bags, it took a lot of coaxing to get my stepfather to part with a couple of them. They had two removal lorries!! 

skogar

Laura - Really sorry to hear about the damage to your things and the clutter situation. It really does sound a far from ideal place for storage.

I was wondering about the chairs - not sure I would even be happy leaving those there even if intending to reupholster. I had a 50s style parker knoll wood framed chair which I intended to recover and it ended up being left at the old house for longer than intended due to circumstance - less than a year - although the frame was OK the upholstery was badly damaged and it was no longer worth recovering it. Currently dealing with woodworm in the foot of a chest of drawers in our which I have had for years, certainly not in any way what I would regard as problematic storage conditions. If they are dining chairs they are relatively cheap to reuphoster or get done and you might be able to use them perhaps instead of something you use now if you prefer them to what you have. Full upholstery on a larger chair can get quite expensive depending on the style of chair unless you are planning on doing it yourself.Still wondering whether you could maybe do it now and swap for something you are using (depends if you love what you are using now as well though...) It's tricky.

Laura_Elsewhere

Re the "if I hadn't used it in 8 years" aspect - we had been actively encouraged to use the room as long-term storage. so had boxed up things we wanted for the future when we move somewhere bigger but weren't able to fit in the flat now (including some things of Mr E's), so for instance most years I've taken a box of books I've recently read to the house, and brought away a box of books to re-read anew; things like ballgown and very cold-weather winter clothes that I simply have no use for in this current life but hadn't wanted to throw out, and furniture and household things left to me by my grandparents for my future home - in a one-bedroom flat, we simply can't have everything here... 

But now the decisions have been taken and we simply will have to try to sort out our things, separate them from my parents' stuff, find what is salvageable, and get rid of as much as possible of what is still useable by others, and keep only what we really really really want. 

It is a harsh and painful lesson in not having too much stuff. 

I cannot tell you how I feel about things my grandparents treasured and used and kept in good condition and passed onto me knowing I would love and use them, which now will go to landfill. At least I have a lot of their kitchen and gardening things here in use already, so if the rest has gone then at least I shall have the most important things of theirs. 

PollyWollyDoodle

It is heartbreaking Laura, and I didn't intend to be critical in suggesting the 'eight year' thing.  These things all have meaning and memories.  I think you are right to focus on what you can save, and make the most of those precious items. 

Liverpool_Anne

@Laura_Elsewhere re books I totally understand. Books are almost sacred to me and I have only recently been able to accept I have too many. So far all I have been able to do is give a few to my sister who I know feels the same as me but I am going to have to bite the bullet and let a lot more go. Luckily now I have retired there is a whole section I know I will not need but even so I want them to go to a good home  
Take care everyone

CapricornLass

Its so comforting to hear of the problems other people have had trying to persuade parents to throw things away.  My parents were exactly the same: used tissues and envelops, rescued screws (mainly rusty), batteries by the bucket load, used and dead, just about every kind of gadget you can think of which they decided they didn't like, enough artificial flowers to start a shop, ditto china, and I think every single bank and mortgage statement they had ever received - the list went on and on.  When I cleared their house, I did six car boot sales, filled 6 6yard skips, took five trips to trade in metal at the scrap merchants, using a trailer and the boot of the car , stuffed my YETI full of clothes from seat to ceiling three times, and I STILL cant into my front room properly, then it shows you the scale of the problem.

I think its not just the fact that our parents were influenced by the war, when you couldn't get anything so you kept everything, but also that as they get older, they haven't the same energy to deal with it.  It may also be that they are developing memory problems and early stage dementia too, and that's why they seem to not understand what you have told them, and stuff is simply put back again and forgotten.  I hope it isn't dementia, but you might want to keep a close eye on what they are doing in other areas of their lives, too, in case it is.

thriftwizard

Oh Laura, that's just so sad for you. But having brought back lots of stuff from the exceptionally rapid sale of Mum's bungalow two years ago, which is still cluttering up my "sewing room" to the point that it's hard to function in there, it makes me realise I really have to get on with getting rid of/moving on stuff we just don't need any longer...