Coming to terms with my Mums death.
in Deaths, funerals & probate
27 replies 2.9K views
My Mum passed away thursday last week. and I am really struggling to get my head round it. I was so looking forward to seeing her at xmas. ( she lived 250 miles from here). I am really kicking myself because I knew she was very ill and I was advised by her carers and also members of the family 'if you want to see mum get here now'. and I didn't. I just kept working and going about my daily life. the only thing I can say is that she was in no pain at the end. she was on a high dosage of morphine. I have made a promise to my mum and my dad that I will think of them every day for the rest of my life.
Thank you for reading my post.
Thank you for reading my post.
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Hindsight is great but we don't have that in the moment. For whatever reason, even though you were told 'if you want to see mum now...' you didn't - maybe you didn't want to see her? Maybe you had something to do at work which in the moment was more pressing. Whatever it was, beating yourself up over it won't help.
I was in the same room as my beloved dad, we were told it would be soon.... I left..... And missed him dying. Yes I kicked myself, but I've moved on from it.
Saying you'll think about them every day is great, but again don't beat yourself over it. If you find in the future you go a day without, don't be guilt tripped etc.
It's all very very soon, coupled with Christmas approaching, don't give yourself a hard time.
My Mum was on end of life care and I went every day to sit with her. As it was during the pandemic I wasn’t allowed to use the toilet, have a drink or a wash so after many hours I said I would go home for an hour to use the loo and get a drink and she passed away as soon as I left. the staff said people often do that and I actually do believe it. However, my brother went in while I popped out so she wasn’t alone.
Take care of yourself.
when I get there I am seeing Mums solicitor to see where we go from here. nothing will happen now of course till the new year.
while I'm in devon I will see Mum at the funeral directors chapel of rest. I will also go to my dads grave to tell him Mum will soon be joining him. so yes I am making plans one at a time. thanks again every one.
Sorry for you loss
We've all made mistakes and thought should have..........
It's too late now but trust me as others said, parents, know and care about their childrens work and
parents always see their children as children no matter what age they are and want them to work and do well.
This may not help, but sadly millions like you all over the world and living 250 miles
away is a long way away and I'm guessing given the same situation, many would have ended up where you are.
My mum died in an accident on hols, I was 21 and was too shy/idit to tell her I loved her but I'm safley guessing she knew that
as does your mum.
Don't be too hard on yourself and mum would not want to see you make yourself ill
Speak to family, meet with them if you are able
Take care of yourself
Debt Free: July 2022.
I recognise your feelings of regret and sorrow.
I just want to say - I don’t think those who love us want us to suffer. So be kind and understanding of yourself, and allow yourself to be the imperfect human being we all are.