Ding! Ding! All change, please... (now replaced with new diary on MFW)

Baileys_Babe

We are going through this with the in-laws who are both in their 80s. MIL had a stroke earlier this year and it has affected her speech and mobility, she is currently staying at a rehabilitation centre. They have a joint account where the bills are paid and pensions go in, but most of the savings are only in her name ISAs, bonds, regular savers etc. FIL has no idea who the accounts are with or how much savings they have. He is not able to use a computer or other smart device so can not access the joint account or those in his own name. It is adding a lot more stress to an already stressful situation.

The one good thing is it has made it easier to have conversations with my parents and others regarding power of attorney, managing passwords and money management.

badmemory

A POA certainly for the person who normally deals with the finances is essential & are 2 of the things (health & finance) in the box for my DS who still lives with me.  The health because of reading on here about a hospital that wouldn't tell an OH what was going on because the child had told them not to.  Next of kin has no meaning in law.  This website is certainly a learning experience & tells you things that had never even occured to you.

Makingabobor2

Yes I agree @badmemory, we have one in place for my dad but inlaws won't even talk about it...very worrying. 

Cheery_Daff

We're in a similar situation to some others - I deal with pretty much everything financial in our house. I do have a rather haphazard folder with details of all accounts, passwords etc, but it's more just a collection of letters. I keep thinking I need to make things more organised, but never quite get round to it 🙄  It does need doing though!

Cheery_Daff

Oh, and I meant to say, house stuff is sounding far more positive, hooray! 😊😊

redofromstart

I remember threads like that, and set up a household file. Less of a file, more a collection of A4 envelopes with what it is and the policy number on the front. Cryptic clues for the passwords but the account number and who to contact - life assurance, pensions. 

I occasionally (sadly) deal with company life assurance claims at work, scary how many haven't updated their expression of wish in years, despite name changes etc. 

beanielou

My DS buries his head in the sand.
On his head be it!

Blackcats

Very similar to others - I do all the finances in our house and MrBC is not interested at all.  Tragically one of my work colleagues died last year - aged 39 - she died in her sleep completely unexpectedly.  It made me think about the things I take for granted like where my purse is, PIN numbers, email address, code to unlock my phone let alone the more complex range of bills, savings, bank accounts etc.  So I now have a folder with a "treasure map" at the front setting out in a visual way the various things OH would need to know and then a summary sheet for each of the various accounts.  It took a while to do and we had a financial "bored" meeting when I explained it to him.  Whilst I doubt that he retained much information at least he would know where to look.

new estate agents sounds much more professional.

dreaming

De-lurking. I am retired now but my old workplace organised a retirement planning course for those who wanted to attend. I went along thinking I was pretty clued up (I worked in finance so felt I had a good handle on things) but I learned a great deal. One of the things that made a huge impression was a personal story from the course presenter. His parents-in-law had been involved in a car crash in which the FIL had sadly died. MIL survived but with brain injuries which necessitated discharge to a care home but the course presenter and his wife had a major problem accessing bank accounts etc. as although MIL was beneficiary for her husband, there were no POA's set up so they (course presenter and wife) had to apply to court to get access under MIL's incapacity, and it took a very long time. They hadn't set up POA's as they didn't think they were old enough but obviously it would have made things so much easier so I went home and got mine sorted pdq. The presenter also made the point about keeping some sort of up to date records as people switch banks more often now and often bank online so there will no paper trail for anyone trying to organise things after a death. I I keep a list of banks with my papers - no sort codes or account numbers - so at least my daughter will  have a starting point.  don't see it as being morbid to discuss these things - rather I see it as continuing the care and consideration I have for my family after my death - but it is more on the lines of "this is where I keep everything and my will is lodged with "Solicitor"".
I also ran the joint finances when I was married but my ex seemed to think that meant he could run up huge credit card balances  without any sort of discussion/disclosure and I would just sort it out. I soon came to resent it, and he resented what he saw as me trying to control him - hence him now being the ex. Apparently he did the same with his new partner but she is now mentally ill and unable to deal with things so he has had a very steep learning curve and actually said recently (to our daughter) that he now understood what I was trying to explain to him month after month.

Crazycatlady2

When my mil took ill we knew it was serious and she was gone in 6 months but no prep was done and fil was totally lost and needed a lot of prep and input from my husband and me and I told my husband that would never be us and although our set up isn’t perfect I’d hope each of us along with teen son and daughter would now manage if one of us went suddenly. Our main issue would be if I went my husband would have to give up work and care for our youngest who is disabled as have no family or outside help with him at all which financially would not be good but we have no mortgage or debt so could be worse