Trying to create a legal promissory note to repay husband due to a hurtful comment made by him.

mcpitman

Not too much to add to other comments, except this whole theme of this thread makes me unhappy.

This is domestic abuse. End of story.

@accidentalglixch seriously think about your future with this person.

MEM62

molerat said:

A sad state of affairs when you can't look past hard cash !

I agree and it says a lot about the relationship.  I think that the OP has bigger issues to spend her emotional energy on than generating a promisary note that will not be worth the paper it is written on.  

Sncjw

Ditch the guy. I saw your post about getting a new job and it seems like you can't do anything right with him. He is acting like a child by not talking to you because you stayed back at work and now acting like a child because he paid out money to help you live better and get a home..
Sorry but it's a joint thing like sometimes I need to pay more in certain things than my husband and especially when he had a lower paying job.. you could pay him back but you say you do other things that help you live. 

I think you need to sit down together and look into the real reason why.he being like he is..

SusieT

Perhaps point out to him that he is now required to do 50% of shopping, cooking and all household tasks. Keep your savings, dont transfer any to him, as others have said it could be he is looking for a way out of the marriage, in which case you will need all you can to deal with finances IF a split happened, and whatever you do get rid of that crazy promissory note idea. You are supposed to be in a partnership not a dictatorship

phillw

accidentalglixch said:

Also what happens if he refuses to sign this promissory note?

If he's not going to sign it, then what makes you think he would ever enforce it?

What ever issue you two have, is not going to be fixed by you proving anything.

You need to ground yourself, so that his comments don't knock you off balance so much. I recommend meditation groups. Once your mind is clear, you can make decisions that are right for you.

horsewithnoname

Divorce. Job done. 

sourcrates

My advice would echo what the other commentators have posted, you appear to have lost sight of what`s important to you and gotten embroiled in a tit for tat about money and legal notices, all of which is quite disturbing to read.

I fear the seeds of doubt have already been sown, and actions such as these between you will just hasten the eventual end of your relationship.

Ebe_Scrooge

sourcrates said:

My advice would echo what the other commentators have posted, you appear to have lost sight of what`s important to you and gotten embroiled in a tit for tat about money and legal notices, all of which is quite disturbing to read.

I fear the seeds of doubt have already been sown, and actions such as these between you will just hasten the eventual end of your relationship.

I can't help but agree with this.  This whole thread makes for some very upsetting reading.

My personal opinion is to to forget about the financial side of things, and perhaps seek some relationship counselling.  Me and Mrs. Scrooge have been through similar in the past.  I earn 10 times what she does, and in the early days I sometimes resented her buying what I considered "frivolous" items when I was working my socks off to provide for the family, foregoing luxuries for myself.

Many times we discussed things along the lines of her saying "Well, if you had to pay for a childminder, a cook, a cleaner, a personal shopper, etc. etc.".  We tried to split chores evenly as much as possible, but the reality was that she works part-time and I work very long hours to earn a good salary.  So she, by necessity, does the bulk of the household tasks (we're not rich enough to actually employ a nanny, cleaner, gardener etc. !!)

Now, many years down the line, I'm very happy to say we have a happy lifestyle.  We both value each other's contributions, whether financial or otherwise.  My salary and her part-time earnings just go straight into the joint account, and that's the "household money", come what may.  We ain't rich, by any stretch, probably what you'd call "comfortable" - though we still can't afford the twice-yearly skiing holidays that our neighbours do.  Not that I'd want to, to be honest!

But, enough waffling.  Back to the original point - your situation is less about "legal finances" and much more about "harmonious relationships".  If you want to stay together then a document, legal or otherwise, is of no help whatsoever.  There are some excellent relationship councillors out there, I strongly urge you to give them a try.  Believe me, I was sceptical, but my God was it worth it in the long run.

NBLondon

MEM62 said:

 a promissory note that will not be worth the paper it is written on.  

I hope that's true.  If it was taken seriously in a divorce settlement then the OP is going to come off worse.

born_again

molerat said:

MrsM has hardly contributed financially to the household in the 40+ years we have been married.  Has that worried me - not one little bit.  A sad state of affairs when you can't look past hard cash !

Like you Mrs BA has not worked had a proper paying employment for 30+ years. But without her hard work looking after home & raising daughter. Where would we be...

Do I begrudge her one day of that 30 years. Hell no. Long may housewifes (if I may call them that) rule. They are more important than the person that goes out to work.

So OP just ignore their sour grapes & remind them of your marriage wows. As it is pure emotional abuse🤬