Trying to create a legal promissory note to repay husband due to a hurtful comment made by him.

accidentalglixch

Purbeck14 said:

Do not sign a promisory note, you have no need to. This is your HUSBAND not someone you owe, like  a trader or a bank! You have a disparity in what you earn and pay what you can into a joint account, so he can't expect you to go halves on things, you work and pay for things he uses and food etc. If he won't sit down and discuss it properly, make a budget sheet that details every last penny you and he spend, and what proportion of YOUR wages is actually spent on you in comparison to his wage.    Personally I would not give him a note, more like notice! 

the note reads as 

Date of issue:
Person 1: My name here
Person 2: Husband here
Current principal payment amount: £17,119.48 (Subject to change)
Principal payment due: 20 January 2030 (Subject to change)
Principal payments will start: Next payday - On or around 25 November 2022

1. I, my name here, undertake to repay husband's name £17,119.48 plus at least 50% of any joint or agreed-upon purchases where husband's name is responsible for payment. No interest will be added to the principal payment amount.
   
   

2. The original principal balance will aim to be repaid over a period of 7 years and 2 months, with monthly installments of £200.00, where possible. 
   
   

3. A handwritten log will be maintained as proof of ongoing payments and updated with new purchases and their 50% price. This information will be shared with husband's name when required to verify receipt of said payments.
   
   

4. The specified timeline will be extended to provide a reasonable amount of time to pay back the funds when new items are purchased as described in clause 1.
   
   

5. The scheduled payment timeframe has not accounted for unexpected events relating to financial circumstances that are beyond the control of either party, so the deadline may be extended or reduced as necessary and agreed upon.
   
   

6. The principal amount is unsecured. If I, my name here, fail to make 3 consecutive payments, unless otherwise agreed, I will sell any valuable items I own to help husband's name recover these unpaid monthly funds.
   
   

7. This Promissory note may not be amended except by mutual agreement of the parties or as a result of negotiations conducted in good faith between them.

I,my name here, agree to fulfill the actions stated in this note for which I am responsible for. I understand husband's name can take legal action and use this promissory note as evidence to obtain funds owed by myself. Signature: Dated:

I, husband's name, accept my name here’s promissory note and have good faith the funds will be repaid as outlined above. I understand that this promissory note allows me to us as evidence if I chose legal action,  to obtain funds owed by my name here. Signature: Dated:

and looks like :

strawb_shortcake

If this is a one off argument then I'd speak to him once the air has cooled, if it was a one off perhaps it was just your husband venting, frustrated with some finance issues. 
If this is a recurring argument I'd probably cut the chase and go for divorce

[Deleted User]

accidentalglixch said:

i hav tried to tell him i conribute as best as i can, and why he cant say those things because he told me not to... 
he wont listen, he won't read any notes i write bu if its legal, then i was doing it to show him if that's what it takes for me to show him what i do for him... I've brought a ledger to write down everything i spend on him, house, remi,  joint savings etc 

Below your posts you have put "Onto building a life I love x", the above comments on the life you're living with your husband  does not sound to me  like a life you can love? 

accidentalglixch

[Deleted User] said:

accidentalglixch said:

i hav tried to tell him i conribute as best as i can, and why he cant say those things because he told me not to... 
he wont listen, he won't read any notes i write bu if its legal, then i was doing it to show him if that's what it takes for me to show him what i do for him... I've brought a ledger to write down everything i spend on him, house, remi,  joint savings etc 

Below your posts you have put "Onto building a life I love x", the above comments on the life you're living with your husband  does not sound to me  like a life you can love? 

you're right , i haven't logged on in months so this was back when there were better days. less frequent these days

Martin_the_Unjust

‘This is because my husband implied last night that "I live off of his hard work and salary"

Perhaps, instead of going all legal beagle you would be best having a quiet conversation with him. Implied is a bit of weak reason for going off on one and it does really need discussing further.

Cool heads and all that.

PS you promissory note is nonsensical.

accidentalglixch

Martin_the_Unjust said:

‘This is because my husband implied last night that "I live off of his hard work and salary"

Perhaps, instead of going all legal beagle you would be best having a quiet conversation with him. Implied is a bit of weak reason for going off on one and it does really need discussing further.

Cool heads and all that.

PS you promissory note is nonsensical.

not the first time he has implied it, i feel worthless at everything I do or try to do. 
I am sure we're going to get divorced. We've not spoken/shouted at each other since 6pm last night. 
I've purposely not been talking to say myself the trouble 

How does it not make sense ? I thought it was pretty clear???

And again, he won't listen to be. he can spew all these horrible things, I have to stand there and take it but when I try to tell him why he is wrong, he storms out, threats that he will leave the house, divorce me if I carry on. says if i wrote down my feelings he won't read them or he'll tear it up. 

[Deleted User]

" I have to stand there and take it but when I try to tell him why he is wrong, he storms out, threats that he will leave the house, divorce me if I carry on. says if i wrote down my feelings he won't read them or he'll tear it up. "

Get rid of him, get a life, get a backbone not a promise to give him money YOU DON'T OWE him, and if you do want to sell something of monetary value as in your note, make it your wedding ring, it's totally worthless as a symbol of his  love. It's not you that is worthless.  Get a solicitor not a ledger! Life is too bloody short to be this sad. 

DiamondLil

Get rid of him, you are worth a dozen of him. A marriage should be a partnership of equals. Next time he threatens to leave the house and divorce you, hand him his coat and packed bag.

MovingForwards

Let him storm out and divorce you. You'll be a lot better off emotionally, physically and financially.

If you think there's no chance of starting over due to health, as you don't earn much, because of the house etc, you are worth more than that and you've already stuck around too long.

Clive_Woody

I think you both need to figure out if your marriage is worth saving, and is this something you both want to do.

His comments are inconsiderate, your response disproportionate (and by your own admission driven by spite) and his subsequent reaction hysterical and manipulative. None of these are behaviours of mature considerate rational people - you are both spiralling downwards and either someone (or both) need to take a step back and decide is this really who you are, or are you reacting on emotions.

As someone mentioned, is this typical of your relationship, or has something changed, or financial pressures getting to both of you.

I would suggest set aside your note and take some time to consider next steps. Do not get drawn in a spiral of petty behaviour as this will just serve to hurt you both more and will end with a lot of resentment.