Diary of a 30-something idiot

slm6002

Do all the bills go out at the same time, just after payday, or are they spread over the month.  I found it better to have them go out straight away, so that I knew what was left and was available to spend on food etc whilst still knowing they had all been paid.

cocalls

If you're getting the bus in to work and getting asda home deliveries can you forgo using fuel for a month thus saving that money?

foxandflowers

@enthusiasticsaver still with Stepchange - I just absolutely cannot miss another payment for 12 months. Once I have a large F&F pot saved (eventually) then I will think about my options as far as that goes. 

@slm6002 they all come out all over the shop - it drives me absolutely insane. I need to sit down and make note of what dates everything goes out of and try and change them to all come out on the 1st of the month so then it's only a few days between being paid and paying all of them, but also allows a couple of days in case of any issues with payroll/bank holidays.

@cocalls - the fuel is just for picking the kids up / going to watch them play sports (saturdays), not for work (unless I have a commitment that requires being picked up). It's going to be the first full month of me getting the bus so I'm curious to see what it does to the fuel budget. 

enthusiasticsaver

Does the Monzo pot work like Starling where you put the amount to cover all bills after payday then allocate all payments to that pot. That removes the amount from the main account so you can then just forget about the bills as they come from a separate pot of money 

foxandflowers

@enthusiasticsaver yes, just like that. it's then the discipline to not open the bills pot up - but I like that by putting the money in there, it removes itself from my available balance. 

enthusiasticsaver

Yes you do need to resist the urge to borrow from the pot. I love the Starling pots system. One for car, one for house, one for holidays/fun money and the bills and a separate one for annual bills like insurances

Jellytotts

Set aside one evening this week to change all your direct debits to the day after payday, most you'll be able to do online but get all the info together and sit and make it a mission, it will mean you never have another one bounce and you'll know exactly where you are.

Our income comes in dribs and drabs throughout the month so we have it all go into the "bills" account and we don't touch it, then all DD's are set to go out on the 2nd of the month including a SO into our savings pot (that then gets split into various named savings pots - boiler/oil/yearly spends/garden/projects/longterm), I then transfer £400 into our "groceries/spends" account for the month ahead.  Anything left is normally for a bit of renovation work/a day out etc.   this months was a new radiator, next month we've booked a few nights away so it will cover a meal out and fuel.

We are renovating on a small budget, as and when we can and we don't spend it unless we actually have it.  We've been in big debt before, paid it all off and promised ourselves we won't go back there but it's a huge mind shift but start with the basics, get what's coming in organised and check daily what's going where.  I have mine written in a book that I update monthly, if it was in a spreadsheet I'd brush off looking at it until another time. We have a weekly money meeting so we both know exactly what's what.  It was a lot harder when the kids were little and needed clothes/shoes/trips but as soon as they left home we were able to start rebalancing.  

Some of the things we do to really help out the finances are....no new clothes, only second hand (aside from underwear and decent shoes/boots, I walk a lot and DH needs sensible boots for mobility issues). We use a local community kitchen when we can, Olio and freecycle.  We check charity shops regularly for the things we need and love a good rummage at a bootsale.  We have hobbies, means we stay out of shops and fill our time without the need for expensive days out.  We take hot/cold drinks where ever we go so not tempted to buy them out and if we're going out for the day then always take a packed lunch (and a cheap one at that - leftovers or a sandwhich and a bit of fruit is fine)  We collect firewood when we see it on freecycle/FB marketplace for free and collect sticks and fir cones on our walks for fire lighters.  We don't replace things until they're broken and unmendable.  

And a thought for your "not waterproof" coat....maybe worth buying a bottle of waterproofing spray and doing all the coats/shoes that will take it.  Will be a lot cheaper than a new coat. 

stymied

Ouch! But if you can get caught up this month it will feel sooooo good!

I would cut the non-kids fuel budget to £20 at the most based on that usage (although I don’t know how far away the sports are). That would free up £50 for the coat and fun Fridays.

DS is going as Andy from the Treehouse Stories - he needs a plain black t-shirt and black trousers … although he refuses to wear trousers so will be wearing shorts instead and will therefore look nothing like the character! I’m so tight that I’ll be turning one of his existing black t-shirts inside out to hide the picture and he can wear his PE shorts, cost £0.

Poundland / freecycle are good for the Easter bonnet.

The other 2 events sound like they may be asking for a voluntary donation but more people than you would think just don’t donate so don’t feel bad if you can’t or just send 50p in.

Having a trying on session in 3 weeks (inset day) so a bundle of age 10-11 / 11-12 (can’t remember what we already got rid of) can fly your way then if you can hold off that long & slightly drown DD! x

uralmaid

I have read your diary from start to current.  I feel really upset for you especially the point that you made about if you can sell the car and get a side hustle.  You are working like a fiend to try and keep all the balls up in the air yet your husband won't get a job.  You have spent the money you got from your previous house, which was supposed to get your debts clear, but you are still in debt and having to borrow from friends.  Years ago my ex husband and I had a business - small but successful. Then we were persuaded by my husbands uncle to let his son buy into the business and expand.  It was a recipe for disaster.  He was stealing cash and running up bills and we ended up having to close down.  Because his father was wealthy he just bailed him out and paid his mortgage etc.  We - on the other hand sold furniture and personal items so that we never missed a single mortgage payment, and both immediately applied for any and every job we could find.  I wrote to every one of our  business creditors and offered to pay a monthly amount which thankfully they agreed to.  We took no holidays and worked our backsides off and managed to clear every debt within 18 months.  It was hard.  Did it break us? yes - but we did it.  I had always been brought up to the premise that if you can't afford it - don't buy it. No HP or credit.  Luckily that stood us in good stead.  Unfortunately the road ahead is a hard one, but think how good it will feel when you come out the other side.  The point I am making is that we pulled together and both did everything we could to achieve it. Unfortunately, you are doing all the pulling and hubby is not.  Sorry for the hard word but I know others have said the same thing.  Him making you a cup of tea etc, is not going to solve this.

lillypoo

Hi foxandflowers 

A few pages ago, after I commented,you asked me : are you me? Lol

I'm not. I'm old enough to be your mum. But I have been where you are.

I met a guy ...was with him six years ...noone liked him ...we split up. Ten years later we got back together. Still noone liked him. I adored him . I lost friends, I lost family.  I supported his drug use, I supported him totally financially actually. 
Paid all the rent and all the bills, supplied all the spending money. He sat at home all day when I worked.
Eventually he got a fairly decent job ...things seemed on the up ...so we signed a contract for a rent to own home. ( not uk). Before the second payment was due ...he quit the job because his vehicle was written off and he couldn't get to work. Stupid me bought him a replacement vehicle but he never ever returned to work. It took me ten years to see what everyone else saw in him. By then I was broke and in debt. As soon as my money ran out, guess what? He left me!

I'm not saying this will happen to you. I'm just going to advise you to prioritise yourself more. You need to have your own private security money pot. Just in case.

Life has a habit of throwing the unexpected at us. Don't be where I am now when you get to my age. 

Rooting for you x