Diary of a 30-something idiot

foxandflowers

If only I had room for a heated airer - but I would have to sacrifice office space, and it wouldn't exactly look professional on calls. 

I've been sneakily turning the thermostat down by 0.5 degrees every day. What started out at 20 is now at 17 degrees. I bled the radiators and it was very satisfying, although I think the one in the conservatory has seen better days as the bottom still isn't getting too warm. 

I also wanted to say a big THANK YOU to the lovely advice I had about the washing machine valve. Initial fix sold to me by the hardware shop did not work as it was too small. But I went on Amazon, and bought a 2 pack of "compression brass blanking nut caps" and it WORKED. It has been 12 hours, and narry a drip to be seen!!! For the grand total of £7. 

I've got two more Vinted parcels to post today, bringing my totals to £65.50 for the month so far for 7 things sold. I need the money to clear before Friday ideally, as I need to do a mini food shop and put fuel in the car. I have £28 in my £1/£2 coin savings pot, so if it comes to it, I will have to break that open. *sigh*

My house is "paramedic clean". This is something I started and my friend has adopted as well - basically, you make sure that before you leave the house or go to bed, that if there was a horrendous accident and paramedics had to break in to save you - that you wouldn't be ashamed about the state of the house! So there is no more laundry mountain waiting to be ironed, I put my wetsuit away from Sunday's swim, the dishwasher was loaded, and the beds were made. I even had time to prepare myself lunch for work today - I have sausages and spicy rice in a microwave pot.

I have 8 more days until I get paid. £6.20 from Ziffit should be clearing at 4pm today, so I can get food for tonight. I'm supposed to be going to Book Club, but I forgot about it, so I don't know if I will be going. Without counting the cash I've spent, and if I remove the big spend on the van, I have spent £720 this month. I still have £500 worth of bills to pay but I have no money to pay them with. A lot of them will be rolling over into next pay, which means February is looking to be a very lean month too. But at least I know it should hypothetically be possible to make it through each month if we stop the silly spending. 

stymied

Could you do a store cupboard challenge for food today? The longer you can postpone the spend, the better! What do you need petrol for? Are you getting lifts from OH to school/work? Would it be cheaper and feasible to walk/cycle/get the bus now you live in town? Leisure petrol may have to go in the wants not needs column...

one_thrifty_lady

Hi, delurking, first comment ever ....
Well done on so many fronts keep that up but I can't help ask.   Is there a VALID reason why your husband does not work. I am sure your followers keep asking the same question.   A year ago you said he was looking for work??   Your partnership would be so much easier if you had both support and income from your husband.
I am afraid you have to face the facts you cannot earn £1 and spend £2 it will never work that way, you have to
live within your means.
Hard as it is, I wish you both well

foxandflowers

I have been carrying around a postal order to the DVLA in my wallet since July 2021, thinking it was a cheque… and I just realised it isn’t. I don’t suppose I’ll be able to get my £17 back now!! 

@stymied - we walk to and from school, and as I am in two days a week I am trying to get the bus as it’s cheaper than the train, however this means that I am getting to work an hour late some days. A day return on the bus is £4.50 - the train is £9.60. When I switch jobs OH will have to take me to and from work for a bit as the new job is rather far out from town centre. The fuel on Friday is to be able to go and get the kids, which is pretty much the only time we really use the car. 

Sadly there is basically nothing in the store cupboards except soup, which I don’t like. So dinner will have to be purchased, but I’m hoping for something reduced and I will be freezer hunting for my daughter as I’m sure I saw some nuggets in there.  

@o@one_thrifty_lady strangely honoured to be the target of your first delurking! Husband doesn’t work because… I’m not entirely sure. It’s just sort of happened and doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of unhappening. He doesn’t seem to want a normal job, he wants to do something off his own back, but as I am not willing to risk my capital (haha I hear you laugh, we know I don’t have any liquid capital or I wouldn’t be here so regularly) it keeps hitting rather a dead end. His latest idea is renting a lease on a pub. Obviously, unless he can find himself ten grand, that won’t be happening. I’m hoping that something comes along this year he actually likes that is not a risk. Even part time (as it is secretly rather useful having him around for the school run etc.) would be helpful. Until then, I am adopting a roll up your sleeves mentality, and just doing my best. 

The hardest lesson for me has been that whilst I see money as a pretty abstract concept - other normal human beings do not, and nor do the companies providing goods and services. And as such I need to get a real grip on adulting and budgeting, or we are going to hell in a rapidly descending handbasket.

in other news: 

The lady on the bus in front of me is eating a baguette straight from its long paper bag and I am insanely jealous. And I have decided to go to book club, because I promised myself I would do things for me this year, and that should be one of them. 

jokono

I sooo feel for you and your daughter. She is growing up thinking the woman going to work, doing all the housework and taking responsability for EVERYTHING is normal, while the man is doing the school run and answers to no one.  You are worth so much more, I hope you will get to see that sooner rather than later.

Kim_13

foxandflowers said:

I have been carrying around a postal order to the DVLA in my wallet since July 2021, thinking it was a cheque… and I just realised it isn’t. I don’t suppose I’ll be able to get my £17 back now!! 

@stymied - we walk to and from school, and as I am in two days a week I am trying to get the bus as it’s cheaper than the train, however this means that I am getting to work an hour late some days. A day return on the bus is £4.50 - the train is £9.60. When I switch jobs OH will have to take me to and from work for a bit as the new job is rather far out from town centre. The fuel on Friday is to be able to go and get the kids, which is pretty much the only time we really use the car. 

Sadly there is basically nothing in the store cupboards except soup, which I don’t like. So dinner will have to be purchased, but I’m hoping for something reduced and I will be freezer hunting for my daughter as I’m sure I saw some nuggets in there.  

@o@one_thrifty_lady strangely honoured to be the target of your first delurking! Husband doesn’t work because… I’m not entirely sure. It’s just sort of happened and doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of unhappening. He doesn’t seem to want a normal job, he wants to do something off his own back, but as I am not willing to risk my capital (haha I hear you laugh, we know I don’t have any liquid capital or I wouldn’t be here so regularly) it keeps hitting rather a dead end. His latest idea is renting a lease on a pub. Obviously, unless he can find himself ten grand, that won’t be happening. I’m hoping that something comes along this year he actually likes that is not a risk. Even part time (as it is secretly rather useful having him around for the school run etc.) would be helpful. Until then, I am adopting a roll up your sleeves mentality, and just doing my best. 

The hardest lesson for me has been that whilst I see money as a pretty abstract concept - other normal human beings do not, and nor do the companies providing goods and services. And as such I need to get a real grip on adulting and budgeting, or we are going to hell in a rapidly descending handbasket.

in other news: 

The lady on the bus in front of me is eating a baguette straight from its long paper bag and I am insanely jealous. And I have decided to go to book club, because I promised myself I would do things for me this year, and that should be one of them. 

I would get in touch with the DVLA and see if they can re-issue it.

It seems ridiculous that you should pay anything to the DVLA when you yourself do not drive. 

Do you have a provisional and a car that you could be insured on so that your husband could help you learn to drive? That would save a small fortune on the learning process (one of my friends didn’t drive outside of professional lessons and she was the only one to fail more than one test) while being a useful contribution in the time that he is not working. I think you mentioned upthread that you’d quite like to learn, and it’s double the fuel bill if he drives you everywhere.

Are you at risk of any kind of disciplinary procedure if the bus is late on a regular basis?

scandimore

Just posting to show support really, I really feel for you and the situation you're in, and can only hope something changes very soon as it sounds relentless.
Glad you've got some peaceful time to yourself with the wild swimming 🏊‍♂️ are you going again soon?

slm6002

We care about you and hate to see you struggle each month.  Food is a basic thing you need.  If you can not afford food towards pay day then you need a new plan.

Does OH truly understand the situation with the households money?  OH may be on the look for a perfect job, but any job is what is needed until that perfect job appears.  He can always resign when the right opportunity comes along. If a job is not in the running, he needs to sign on, although I suspect he will not want to as they will not accept that he waits for the right job.  Until he brings in some income for the family, you need to cancel the non essential expenses - you cant eat subscriptions.  Yes I know they entertain / help with DIY etc, but there are free services that do the same job. Are you members of the local library, freecycle, olio groups?  When more money is coming in from both of you, then you can add them into your budget again.  Trying to find free / almost free things to do, becomes a game / entertainment in itself.

You have a lovely new house that will need work to get it to exactly how you like it, but no money coming in to put towards it.

dawnybabes

I know we all sound like we’re banging the same drum but we are !  He needs to bring in some money either by working or signing on - does he pay maintenance towards his other kids ? Even if he only got a couple of hundred UC that is food on the table 

dawnybabes

And the lady eating a baguette out of the bag sounds amazing, I’m coeliac and I still stand in supermarket bread sections smelling the freshly cooked bread 🤣🤣🤣