Diary of a 30-something idiot

Sarahwithlove

Thats fair enough. If you are getting benefit from it and so is your daughter then seems its an expense that's worthwhile. Do you get any kind of maintenance from her dad? 

I would definitely suggest you encourage your husband to help with listing items and making extra money. 

I'd put as much as you can on the dmp and then reach out to whoever is left over. But you may find you can't add them so then you need to be prepared to do it yourself. Start with stepchange though, maybe give yourself a deadline to contact them by. 

foxandflowers

Sarahwithlove said:

Thats fair enough. If you are getting benefit from it and so is your daughter then seems its an expense that's worthwhile. Do you get any kind of maintenance from her dad? 

I would definitely suggest you encourage your husband to help with listing items and making extra money. 

I'd put as much as you can on the dmp and then reach out to whoever is left over. But you may find you can't add them so then you need to be prepared to do it yourself. Start with stepchange though, maybe give yourself a deadline to contact them by. 

I should be getting  £120 a month from her dad, but he is... unreliable to say the least. It's actually direct through child maintenance because he gave me nothing for over a year, and even now it is hit and miss as to whether he pays. He missed four payments last year. So hypothetically that maintenance covers the after school club costs, but whether it shows up is another issue. 

I am using flexi to finish early today, so my aim is to ring Stepchange tonight and try and come up with a plan with them. Even once that is hopefully set up, I still don't see that there will be any wiggle room in the budget. I think I'm going to have to side hustle or something just to make ends meet every month which is frankly insane and depressing when I already work full time. 

SueP19

foxandflowers said:

Not that I can add a signature yet, but my debt total is 

£37,465

And I have absolutely nothing to show for it. 

Have a whopping good cry then get your big girlie pants on, if you can go through the death of your parents, a hubby that only work occasionally and 6 kids, debt will be easy, a long one though

I looked at our lock up and just saw bags of spent money on carp too, soul destroying 

foxandflowers

Lunchtime update.

1) Pawned parent's wedding rings, and my index finger ring. Made £200, which will cover food, after school club and fuel for the next week. 
2) My friend sent me £200, I can pay her back over two months, which has enabled me to pay the late fee for the storage unit. Armed with having paid that off, I asked them about their cancellation policy. If I am able to clear the unit this weekend, they will waive the one month's notice, saving me £150 a month going forward. (well, actually saving £50 a month for the next two months.) 
3) My husband has text me to say he is aware we both need to be working, so we are going to have to have a frank and uncomfortable discussion tonight about that. Realistically we can't survive off my wages without cutting back to bare bones and having zero quality of life. Which is sort of what has been happening anyway. Hopefully he has a good idea about income to free me up slightly. 
4) I have reduced the price of my house with the estate agent by £10,000.

Still to do:
Speak to stepchange.
Clear storage unit out. 

I think by April, I will do a new SOA, as some balances should have changed by then. And hopefully if I keep checking in here and holding myself accountable, I will get there. 

kazwookie

Can your OH get temping work in the local area, while he looks for a perm. job?

Who pays for the food etc when the other children come to stay at weekends?

SueP19

Go you, such an amazing start 

Sarahwithlove

Have you spoken with child maintenance about him being unreliable as isn't there rules in place about that sort of stuff? 

I hope hubby finds a job soon even if it's temporary or part time. Maybe he should try signing up with some recruitment agencies. 

Can I ask why you are selling? 

foxandflowers

kazwookie said:

Can your OH get temping work in the local area, while he looks for a perm. job?

Who pays for the food etc when the other children come to stay at weekends?

I pay for everything since he lost his job at the start of the pandemic. We sat down over the weekend and I tried to be as honest as I could in terms of that he was going to have to get a job somewhere soon, otherwise I fear we will go under completely. 

foxandflowers

Sarahwithlove said:

Have you spoken with child maintenance about him being unreliable as isn't there rules in place about that sort of stuff? 

I hope hubby finds a job soon even if it's temporary or part time. Maybe he should try signing up with some recruitment agencies. 

Can I ask why you are selling? 

I've spoken to them, as has the mother of one of his other children. They said if they don't receive it from the employer there is nothing they can do. I suppose at least by complaining regularly, it remains on collect & pay rather than direct. 

We are selling because as much as I love being rural, it is too expensive and too isolating. I think if we had moved to this house in twenty years time it would have been perfect. But as it is, there is loads of (frankly expensive) work that needs doing, I am spending £100 a week on fuel because of the work commute / getting the kids / the nearest shop is half an hour away, and I feel completely reliant on hubby, because without him, the public transport is so bad that I would essentially be stuck. We also need more space as the kids are all growing and can no longer share rooms like they used to. I desperately need to learn to drive, but I can't afford to do so. 

I'm hoping my house sells for about 20-40k more than whatever property we buy. We overpaid during lockdown and the market has totally changed since then. Then with the money in the bank, I can pay for all the moving costs, the furniture we will need (hoping to thrift the majority of this) etc. We need to buy a car that is not a total bag of spanners, as the one we have is costing a fortune in repair fees. And use the remaining portion of it at least to make full and final settlement offers to some creditors. 

foxandflowers

And now we are to the diary entry. 

Morning campers! How was everyone's weekend? 

I have been a busy busy girl. Well, aside from the four hours I sat on my sofa and read a book. Unintentionally. I only meant to read a couple of chapters but there was an outstanding twist, and then I was hooked and had to finish the whole thing instead of doing the ironing. Oops. 

On Saturday, we emptied the storage unit. 
When we turned up I genuinely was worried that it was going to be a four trip job, even with the van, but thankfully DH is excellent at Tetris, so we managed it in two goes. I am amazed and appalled at how much stuff there was. It's been sat there for ten months, and honestly, I couldn't have told you what was in any of the boxes. Had a little bit of an archaeological dig in the afternoon while DH watched the football. 
Some of the things I found: 

•  three dog beds for the older dog
• my ugg boots
• my dad's leather jacket, that i desperately want to get altered so I can wear. It's from the 70s, and therefore has the biggest balloon sleeves ever
• my daughter's first pair of shoes/first onesie/teddy from hospital
• both my sentimental boxes of things from my parents
• a huge pile of german children's books
• a wooden chess set
• two paddleboards
• two electric scooters
• a barbecue with a smoker and a load of charcoal
• three tents
• four pairs of curtains
• two door wreaths
• a giant woven reindeer
• three plastic christmas trees of varying sizes

Most of the cardboard boxes they were in are in stages of disintegration so I am going to have to get hold of some plastic storage tubs and try to get it all organised. Obviously there is also a lot there that is potentially sale-able, although it is probably the wrong time of year to offload Christmas decorations, there is plenty that can go.

Either way, it's £150 off my outgoings. So I am quite proud of that. 

I had a phone call late Saturday from the estate agents requesting a viewing on the house next weekend. So I think dropping the price may be working in our favour. The trouble is I've found a house I've fallen in love with, and I don't think it will still be there by the time mine sells, and I don't think I can make an offer until mine has sold, even though it's a lot cheaper than mine and I can offer over asking if needed. Does anyone know more about this? So I'm feeling quite down and frustrated over the whole thing. 

I then had ANOTHER phone call, and it was from the garage that has my car. It needs a new ignition lock. And I don't know if my warranty is going to cover that. And if they don't it's £750 I don't have. And it needs fixing so I can sell it so I can get on top of at least a couple of my outgoings. 


So things to do today:
-  Arrange a time for the viewing with the EA
- Ring Stepchange, because by the time I spoke to them on Friday he told me there wasn't enough time to go through everything
- Ring the warranty place and see if they will cover the cost of fixing the rubbish car
- Pay in £40 I made from selling dining room chairs on Friday
- Find some boxes?? 
- Clean the kitchen and bake some brownies with DC5 (mine)
- Do the ironing I neglected to do yesterday



Updated figures: 

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income............................................					1720
Expenses (including HP & secured debts)............					1612.5
Available for debt repayments................................					107.5
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments...................					570
Amount short for making debt repayments............					-462.5