Which one?

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I have talked to Payplan and Stepchange and am now more confused and stressed than ever. Stepchange tell me to do a DMP and Payplan tell me to do an IVA. I cannot and will not release equity on the house this is not an option. I find an IVA scary as it's such a formal thing. I really don't know which way to go.
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That's exactly how I thought at one point, having done it I can now see that it is the only option, and that the reason I never got anywhere was because I was doing it on my own. The chances are he will actually find out at some point, he'll wonder where all that money is going, or why you can't get a loan for the car or new kitchen you want, or what all the letters are you keep running off with are, or why you want to stay with your current mortgage lenfer instead of a different one that has a better deal. It's best to deal with it now so you can move one with things.
Trying to Hide a Secret £20,000 Debt is as Tricky As it Sounds! (:#) — MoneySavingExpert Forum
Trust me - your partner will be an awful lot more angry, hurt and upset when he finds out about your debt - and he WILL find out about it - by accident, whether that is through a slip of the tongue by you, something said by someone else, or simply by him accidentally opening a letter or answering a phone call that was meant for you - than he will be if you tell him about it. Sure, he's going to be cross - I mean you'd be cross in his shoes, wouldn't you, but if the relationship is worth having he will also want to help, and want to support you. There's no reason why you can't continue to pay the debt off using your own income (dependent of course on your income/expenditure) and indeed I'd suggest that when you DO tell him you do so with a plan already in place for how you intend to deal with it. By not being upfront you are definitively risking your relationship - if it's a good one, please don't throw it away. If all else fails - ask yourself how you would feel if the positions were reversed.
So potentially yes it can effect your mortgage, not so much this application but the next. Once on a DMP your debts will default, that will show on your credit history for 6 yrs from the default.
Even if your doing this solo, you need your husband on side.
Current debt ZERO.
But the basics are:
A DMP is an informal solution that you can adjust or end without penalty. There are no fees. You may get lucky in a few years and be able to negotiate reduced final settlements.
An IVA would require that you release equity in the house, has large fees, typically £9Kish, and 30% fail. You could end up owing the full amount plus the fees. They are great for the Insolvency Practitioners and introducers who make a lot of money, long before your creditors get anything.